Donald Trump Now Planning To Bury People In His Tacky Golf Course
Why is Donald Trump in the news again? Wasn't hebanishedfor the rest of 2012? Guess not. Besides the dingle-dongle Endorse Newt vs. Endorse Mittens moment of this morning, vulgar hair-weave troglodyte Donald Trump is also planning to bury people in his tacky country club golf course graveyard in New Jersey. Give Trump some credit for trying to sell something most people who "lucked into money" in New Jersey desperately fear: being buried in a landfill by their mob boss.
It is environmentally despicable to be pumped full of poison chemicals and buried in some Costco casket with enough brass accents to be its own little Trump Tower, but if you're going to go that way because you're a sleazy old New Jersey country club mafioso, Trump's golf courses deserve to be dug up and filled with corpses. Better the Donald's acres of turf than some actual nice natural land, right?
They say you can't take it with you when you die, but that's not necessarily true for the wealthiest Americans — like Donald Trump.
He announced this week he is considering building a 1.5-acre cemetery next to his high-end golf course in Bedminster, where members pay a lifetime fee of as much as $300,000. If they want to stay beyond that, they most likely will pay a membership fee that includes burial.
When the next big earthquake strikes the East Coast, it will be funny when the embalmed oldsters pop out of the golf course and nobody can tell them apart from the golfers who are "still alive." [ AP/SFGate ]
I can only imagine what nursing homes will look like when my generation get there. We'll probably be playing Call of Duty: Elder Storm or Mario Hoverround.
Donald Trump, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in Tokyo a day earlier than expected. Feeling lonely that evening, he employed the services of a beautiful young Japanese girl to be his companion for the evening. Although the Japanese girl spoke very little English and the businessman spoke no Japanese, their passion roared and in the heat of the moment she began yelling "Gama Su!, Gama Su!". Hearing this, the Donald knew he had pleased his female Japanese friend and soon afterwards went to sleep. The next day while playing golf with his Japanese business colleagues, one of his Japanese partners holed his shot from 170 yards away! Everyone went crazy and began yelling excitedly in Japanese. Wanting to impress his friends, the Donald joined in and began yelling, "Gama Su! Gama Su!"
Suddenly everyone became quiet. After a moment of silence, one of the Japanese turned to him and asked "Wrong hole? What do you mean wrong hole?"