136 Comments
User's avatar
Misty Malarky Ying Yang's avatar

How can it be that I now feel queasy in my tummy and a craving for a mayo-stuffed pimento cheese sammich at the exact same time?

Expand full comment
arglebargle's avatar

An abundance of Duggars? Supply is there, not sure about demand...

Republican presidential candidates also, too.

Expand full comment
Spotts1701, Taking Bible Guns's avatar

It would've been funny had Trump swung and missed on a grooved fastball.

Expand full comment
NorthStarSpanx's avatar

But that's how he conducts all his interviews. Leading from his behind.

Expand full comment
Lady Bug's avatar

FTW

Expand full comment
Lady Bug's avatar

Well, there goes the last remaining shred of my heterosexuality.

Expand full comment
SpideySenser's avatar

He fought side by side with Hannibal in the Alps.

Expand full comment
unhipcat's avatar

everything trump said is true: mccain got shot down during the vietnam war; mccain was a pow; trump doesn't consider mccain a hero. can't argue with any of those statements.

Expand full comment
Cajun Kid's avatar

Serious question!

Did the Short-Fingered Vulgarian, Sir Fuckface von Clownstick, Baron of Yoooooge'N'Klassy, actually release his financials? If so, where are they?

Expand full comment
Amy!'s avatar

Ohm my ghod, math is hard! I amp just a girl, when I try to solve the equalizeration, there's too much resistance!

Expand full comment
TrumpLovedEpstein's avatar

it's too complicated for us knuckle dragging un-classy poors to unnerstand, The Dumb needs to Trumpsplan it to us...

Expand full comment
Good_Gawd_Yall - Unperson's avatar

Sad as I am to admit this, I have wondered the same thing. The only explanation I can find is that The Donald might be a tiny bit afraid to go there, since he has a plenitude of ex-wives who would probably jump at the chance to go on the teevee and tell the world how small his peener really is.

Expand full comment
Good_Gawd_Yall - Unperson's avatar

Every time he says he's sooooooo rich, I hear "I have a tiiiiiiiiiny pecker."

Expand full comment
Good_Gawd_Yall - Unperson's avatar

He personally invaded Chad, if you know what I mean, and I know that you do.

Expand full comment
Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

You have the capacitance to do this, little grid.

Expand full comment