Don't Threaten Us With A Good Time, Mike Johnson! Tabs, Tues., Nov. 4, 2025
Good morning, Americans!
New York, it’s election day! Virginia, New Jersey, you too! Go vote for sweet Zohran and Mikie Sherrill and Abigail Spanberger and all the things if you haven’t done so already! Oh and Minneapolis, you’re doing the mayor thing! Anyway go vote while it’s still allowed, we’re very much at the “use it or lose it” stage of having rights.
A new poll says nine percent of New Yorkers are going to move if Zohran Mamdani wins. Housing crisis? Already solved! [New York Post]
Hey can we make this into a commercial?
Sounds like Jack Smith is really excited about testifying publicly for Congress. [New York Times]
Sounds like US Attorney Boxwine’s office is exactly the well-lubricated ship you’d imagine it is. [New York Times]
Sean Duffy cares so much about your safety he says he’ll shut down the whole US airspace he has to. Remember, Republicans are keeping the government shuttered to destroy healthcare and to keep hiding the Epstein files. [Reuters]
At long last at my other place, I updated the running list of conservative pastors, youth group leaders, priests, Christian school teachers, coaches and others accused or arrested for or convicted of abusing kids in some way. Know why it took so long? Because I went out of the country for a few weeks and those types of people abuse children with such frequency that if you don’t update a list on the regular, you’ll be chasing your tail forever. It had 138 people on it. (SO FAR THIS YEAR.) Now it has 188. (SO FAR THIS YEAR.) Unbelievable. Anyway, come over there and share and subscribe and support me there too! [The Moral High Ground]
Donald Trump Jr. is excited about his dad’s genitals. [Daily Beast]
$10,000 per day for Bari Weiss’s security? Huh. Don’t feel like that’s very common sense fiscal conservatism! [PageSix]
Everyone in the Trump administration is just such a vile, brain-damaged thug. TYhis time they’re threatening European diplomats! [Politico Europe]
Charlotte Clymer feels bad for Kim Davis, a truly pitiable individual. [Charlotte’s Web Thoughts]
IF YOU ARE IN NEW YORK any time soon, I went and saw Oh, Mary! the other night, and it absolutely lives up to the hype, can’t remember last time I laughed that hard and so continuously. Jane Krakowski is a brilliant Mary. [Tickets]
And yes, that means I am in New York City on Elect Zohran Day, so I will try to get good pictures of any spontaneous celebrations I see breaking out later this evening.
Hooray!
OK I’m outta here, gotta get ready for a big celebration for our pals at Abortion Access Front’s 10 year anniversary. If you’d like to give a love gift in honor of that click here!
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Giraffes have pretty nifty tongues. Learn more here: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/catchin-raindrops-the-giraffe-method
And your Election Day meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/8072b891-2814-47cb-a302-88378b848192?utm_source=share
Vote, vote, vote and make those baby stouts proud.
I am voting in my first Cleveland election today!