458 Comments
User's avatar
OneYieldRegular's avatar

You omitted the best part of this toadying, which was that when Burgum was asked about a possible charge of 10 years in prison for Olympian David Hearn for allegedly vandallzing the pool. When asked whether whether he thought that was proportionate to the alleged crime, he spewed some more disingenuous burgum by replying, without a trace of irony or even reflection, that people have to face consequences for the destruction of federal property - at the same time his boss is trying to PAY the J6'ers for having done exactly that, plus assault that left federal officers dead and over 140 injured.

Then to add insult to this garbage, when asked above about proof of the cutting of the liner, Burgum burgums some more about why people keep asking for this. People ASK for this DOUG, because we have a system of justice that assures people a presumption of innocence until proven guilty, and because unlike almost any other case with a criminal charge, NO INFORMATION about the exact charges or evidence has been released to the public, or even who has been charged besides Hearn.

Laurian's avatar

A decade ago Berman was a Mugwump Rethug tech bro from the American West. Now he is a clumsy propagandist telling lies he knows are not true which raises the question is MAGA holding family members hostage or did he undergo a Clockwork Orange style re-programing?

paperlesstiger's avatar

The daily coverups are a full time job for most of the government now.

Schmannity's avatar

Shoulda used Flexseal. It can seal a screen door on a rowboat I'm told.

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

In a just world, Burgum would be the guy in Ace Hardware who showed you the aisle where the hinges were and you'd totally ignore his advice beyond that.

HarryButtle, degenerate artist's avatar

My Ace guys are all fairly knowledgeable. Burgum would work at Home Depot.

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

Yeah I actually felt bad after writing that. The people in Ace tend to be good. There was this woman and I asked a question and she pointed to her badge which said "I am autistic" and I was pleased for her getting hired and said "so you'd know the best plumbing for a watering system" and her eyes lit up and she totally did

Georgiaburning's avatar

“I don’t know about hinges, I usually work in gardening.”

goCatgo's avatar

I hate it when I need hinges. I usually have to get some fake wet wood for patching.

Parakeetist's avatar

He literally is Sam the Eagle from the Muppets.

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Ace is the place with the hapless hardware sham.

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

Ours has a little train. That's kinda cool.

Also they sell citrus trees. I bought one and it died because I suck at horticulture.

HarryButtle, degenerate artist's avatar

"But in America, free speech is allowed."

Unless you criticize Israel. Unless you want to talk about being trans. Unless you want to talk about racism. Unless you want to educate young people on sex and abortion. Unless you speak out against Trump.

Jeff's avatar

Burgum used to sit on the Boards of a number of Silicon Valley companies back in the day, including one I represented. I can say without hesitation, he was probably one of the most obnoxious, blustering A-holes I have ever personally had to sit in a room with

FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

That does not surprise me in the slightest.

Larry Schmitt's avatar

"Sat on the boards"

Translation: got paid too much money to do not much of anything.

Georgiaburning's avatar

Got a hotel room and a few meals to attend a stockholders’ meeting and nod his head on cue.

Enter Ranting's avatar

OT – Donald Trump claims to be in charge of Venezuela now. So why are we doing such a horrible job with the earthquake recovery effort?

Cincinnatus's avatar

Can't send in Jared and Witkoff for condo development until the bodies are all removed.

Donald Laporte's avatar

"They never voted for me."

Pauly2coffees's avatar

You answered your own question.

paperlesstiger's avatar

Troops are going in. It will turn into a de facto occupation before long.

SkeptiKC's avatar

This is ALL fucked up and unequivocally WRONG.

The orange abomination responsible is out of his tiny liddle fucking fascist mind.

Parakeetist's avatar

Oh Lord, take this burden from among us. How long, oh Lord, how long!

gallbladder's avatar

Self-explanatory.

RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

“I’m a person that loves sports and was a good athlete. And I understand sports really well. Really well. And that wasn’t a foul. That wasn’t even an infraction,”

no, dumbass.... an infraction is when you kick your fucking golf ball out of the rough ELEVEN TIMES A ROUND....

Didn't he get some bowling participation trophy or sumptin' when he was young?

ooooohhhh!!!!! many Athlete! Much manly!

Cincinnatus's avatar

"Trump said that he did not know what a red card was before he intervened in the decision." [NYT]

Parakeetist's avatar

It was possibly a yellow card offense. Never should have been a red card.

But you do *not* simply call and put a man back in the game! That's all the proof that FIFA only exists to create bribes and not to uphold the rules of the game.

I hope the US deals with this by not putting him into the game. Allow him to be there, yes, but just keep on the bench the entire time.

Pauly2coffees's avatar

If this is the case, then Trump’s interference destroyed the claim.

fair_n_hite_451's avatar

Made doubly worse by the fact that for the World Cup, there is no process to request a review of a card. By design. There is literally no appeal process. And yet, somehow this was reversed?

Parakeetist's avatar

I love the US team. They're my team.

But every country in the world is hereby requested to make us the next team to fall..

fair_n_hite_451's avatar

Yeah, I'm firmly on Team Belgium for the next game.

PeteWa's avatar

While there remains copious mounds of trash and debris on the National Mall and clogging the Donvict algae / swamp pools, we can at least find some relief in knowing that the worst and most noxious garbage has already been cleaned up, I mean has already gone back home.

SayItWithWookies's avatar

Except he's still in the White House.

zuludaddy (seamonkey!)'s avatar

apparently it is news that some AI-generated "actress" "called" "Tilly Norwood" is set to star in a "major motion picture"

(smoaks moar quantity....)

Daniel's avatar

This is the third or fourth time this has happened. The first time the company responsible for Tilly Norwood released a demo reel of it in an AI generated scene she didn't look the same from shot to shot. The face, hair and clothing were all different, subtly but noticeably, every time Tilly was shown. The trailer for this new thing has the same problem.

Ambiance Chaser's avatar

Problem with AI is it's a different answer every question so the quality will steadily decrease.

If we just ignore Tilly long enough, she will look like the coal smut creature from Spirited Away . . .

MRK's avatar

Apparently AI continuity directors don't exist yet.

Fender Deluxe's avatar

Thing is, if they just called it an “animated” film, nobody would care.

MRK's avatar

Except they're also generating the dialogue by machine, and the animation is automated, so it's not even like real animators (yes, even computer animators have real work to do) get paid to produce this garbage, or real voice actors get to do anything either.

Ambiance Chaser's avatar

Something tells me "Tilly Norwood" is an anagram for a lot of dirty words . . .

MRK's avatar

'Major' has lost all meaning, but the company responsible for trying to get other people to accept a facsimile of a girl as a real actor is making a movie that features that character being seduced by the dark web.

2Cats2Furious's avatar

If you listen to Judge Boxwine’s presser on the indictment of the former Olympian, then this whole story of vandals slicing a 350 gash of the pool liner with box cutters or knives makes no sense. Per her version, he put both his hands in the water and pulled out a piece of the liner. He was arrested at the scene; there is no reference to him having or using any kind of cutting implement.

So how did the liner - which was supposed to last for 100 years - manage to separate so easily that someone could allegedly pull it up with only their hands?

It’s just more lies and abuse from this administration. Unfortunately, someone’s liberty is at risk because of the insatiable need to feed Trump’s ego.

Ambiance Chaser's avatar

The Alexie Navalny of reflecting pools . . .

Rhand Holm's avatar

Narcissists never admit fault for anything. From spelling mistakes to bombing a girl's school. It's always someone else's fault.

Enter Ranting's avatar

Trump has drastically reduced crime in DC to levels we've never seen before (except in the Reflecting Pool.)

TheGreatAndPowerfulMormos!'s avatar

I dont know why youre trying to fact check propaganda. He made the regime look incompetent, which they are, so he is an enemy of the state and has been dealt with. That is all there is to it.

paperlesstiger's avatar

And how did they get an indictment on something that is obviously a political diversion?

BillEGoatSmile's avatar

Lies. Their defnse lawyers will be asking the court to see the grand jury transcripts I assume.

MRK's avatar

The real question is how she failed to get other indictments. Getting indictments is probably too easy in this country.

Pauly2coffees's avatar

It will all go up in smoke the minute it gets in front of a judge.

Chino Cherokee's avatar

In other 'detached from reality' news:

Trump Claims 420K People Showed Up For His July 4 Speech

Belle la Bête f/k/a Girl Guide's avatar

Is that Elon doing bigly math for Donald and inserting his favorite number into the “official tally” because he’s a 12-year-old who still thinks it’s hilarious to input “80085” into a calculator?

Bobathonic, Dingus Crusher's avatar

He could grip it by the husk.

Caepan's avatar

Are you trying to tell me that pool liners migrate?

gallbladder's avatar

Would that be an African or European liner?

Fender Deluxe's avatar

“Huh! I don’t know!”

{ejected!}

SayItWithWookies's avatar

Why is everyone still hung up on the reflecting pool? It couldn't be because some fucking loudmouth tweeted and spoke every day for fucking WEEKS about how his two predecessors tried desperately to fix the reflecting pool and spent tons of money on it and it still looks like shit but now HE's here to solve it in one swoop and everyone's going to say how beautiful it is and how every previous president was a complete failure for not upholding their oath to make the reflecting pool perfectly clean with a mirror-bright finish, which is practically the most important duty of any administration. But yeah, now that it looks like the kiddie pool in an abandoned Motel 6 they're all like "you people in the press never shut up about this."

VaselineHabits's avatar

Stop talking about the stuff we never shut up about! Also, we never said any of that!

And if we did, YOU PLEEBS DESERVE IT.

Always Be Ithacating's avatar

This is terrible, but I laughed anyway – he's in rigor tortoise.

Tammy Scumbag's avatar

Do we know if his daily lettuce needs are being met?

Edith Prickly's avatar

Anyone seen Elaine Chao since she bailed for China three days after he went to hospital?

Mistah Mitch, he dead.

Rhand Holm's avatar

Can't blame her. Once he's gone she can't peddle her influence. Probably having a last chance "going out of business" sale.

Aquaman, Real Estate Investor.'s avatar

Or she's not planning on coming back...

Carstonio's avatar

So they’re keeping him in a vat, like in countless science fiction movies?

Ambiance Chaser's avatar

Perhaps the real intended use of these mythical "micro bubblers".

[scratching chin.gif] . . .

Hooker P Tape's Epstein files's avatar

Hopefully they're keeping him in a cooler.

Carstonio's avatar

I originally read the headline as *he* won’t confirm if he’s conscious, like he’s talking in his sleep.

Enter Ranting's avatar

Scrodiger's turtle.

Ambiance Chaser's avatar

"Pining for the fjords I tell ya." . . .

Sk8erChoi's avatar

"He's probably resting from all the moving he did before you got here".

Antifa Commander's avatar

“He was just waking up and you stunned him.”

C&A Bongo Man's avatar

From The Smiths' kids album.

Also 'Hand in Puppet', 'There is a Nightlight That Never Goes Out', 'Please Please Please Let Me Go To Disneyland'.

Daniel's avatar

Vicar At A Safe Distance

Elviouslyqueer's avatar

I know, I know, it's serious!

*curse you Bob for implanting a Morrissey earworm*

Pauly2coffees's avatar

The worst Smiths song ever.

Ambiance Chaser's avatar

"I'm not holding that hand mirror, you hold that hand mirror." . . .

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Dibs on the pope hammer!

No Quid Bro Code's avatar

I tell you: they probably need his vote so Susan Collins, Murkowski, and maybe Cassidy or Tillis can vote “no” when Trump nominates the Truth Social general counsel to Alito’s seat. Weekend with Mitchie.

Antifa Commander's avatar

Anyway: what’s for dinner tonight?

Chino Cherokee's avatar

you'se stoled my non-comment, you'se!!!

zuludaddy (seamonkey!)'s avatar

I think we can all fairly assume it's

Turtles, all the way down

Fleur de Sel's avatar

The Treaty of Tordesillas revenge match is on!!

No Quid Bro Code's avatar

Spain was robbed of Brazil! It got the Philippines as compensation. Isn’t colonialism grand.

No Quid Bro Code's avatar

It was a real life game of Risk minus the pew pew.