Dr. Ben Carson Writes Prescription For Himself To Go Bye Now

Or is he?

Bad news, everyone. Our favorite brains doctor and Egyptologist has uninvited himself from the Republican presidential debate on Thursday because, it seems, God nudged him awake and showed him some math:  

Ben Carson, the retired neurosurgeon who briefly led the Republican presidential race before his campaign began an extended public implosion, will tell his supporters in a statement Wednesday afternoon that he does not see a “path forward” and will not attend Thursday’s debate in Detroit, according to two Republicans familiar with his plans.

But good news too, everyone! Carson's statement doesn't say anything about suspending his campaign, and he promises to keep fighting the half-awake fight.

[contextly_sidebar id="ymuQmy86nre4JI1RWNHZUSMY0ncUNlH9"]Wonderful! That means Carson can continue to ask for your moneys on his presidential campaign website, without doing any campaigning work whatsoever because why bother, and you -- if you are dumb enough -- can keep giving it to him! Win win, if you are Ben Carson. Hahaha, if you're the idiot he's talking to.

But what about this "future of this movement" thing he's talking about? Oooooh. Ahhhhh. Maybe it is -- dear god please yes please oh please make it be so -- Marco Rubio's job? 

GOP operatives told CNN early Wednesday morning that they'll push Ben Carson to drop out of the Republican presidential race, and instead run for a U.S. Senate seat from Florida. [...]

Sen. Marco Rubio, who's seat is up, has said he will not seek re-election.

Bad news for Carson: If he decided to take "GOP operatives" up on this idea, he'd have to for real suspend his campaign and stop raising dollars from it.

But good news for Carson: He could probably scam some dollars from his "Senate" campaign instead! And as Rubio has demonstrated so well, being a senator from Florida is super easy. You don't even gotta show up to the office or nothin'.

[ WaPo / WMUR ]