Duck Dynasty And National Review Cruises Locked In Battle To Death To Claim Your Hard-Earned Angerbear Racist Dollars
Looking forward to 2014? Already planning your big vacation? Decided which cruise you're going to go on? Probably not, because you're probably having an incredibly difficult time deciding between the Duck Dynasty cruise or the National Review cruise, or shooting yourself in the head. Yes, yes, we know. In past years, you've made sure to catch the National Review boatlift, just so you could hear from such luminaries as Robert Bork and Ken Starr, but this year you may have to give a pass to National Review's merry band of sailing nihilists and go for five glorious days with the cast of Duck Dynasty.
The "Duck Commander" cruise will feature "question and answer sessions" and "autograph sessions" with Robertson and other members of his family. There will also be musical performances by "American Idol" winner Scotty McCreery and Mac Powell of the "Christian rock band Third Day." Taking off from Miami, the five-day cruise includes stops in Key West and Cozumel.
"There’s got to be some liebrul cruise we can go on, right? Something chock full of debauchery and drugs and buttsecks and all the things liebruls like?"
Well, as one of my college roommates used to say, "You don't need a boat to cruise."
Just wait until it's your turn in the barrel.