398 Comments
User's avatar
Pixeloid's avatar

It's always the ones you most expect.

larry gassan's avatar

FTR Fuckabee fled Jerusalem the last time around because Rapture Too Soon, Not Now, Satan. Maybe he’s bunkering in to avoid having to commit to excusing another Duggar.

Timberjack's avatar

Conservatism in any form should be a felony.

KEITH TAYLOR's avatar

Meanwhile, Christian nationalist crazies like Pastor Doug Wilson and his close pal Hegseth keep pushing for a biblical theocratic state in which black chattel slavery will be idealised and women will not vote ... and abused children, no doubt, will be told to be respectful and pray.

Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan. Our NoKings chant: epstein! Epstein!! EPstein!!!! EPSTEIN!!!!!!!! E-P-S-T-E-I-N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and our new chant:

You're protecting pedophiles

Now release the Epstein files

N-O-W!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jen has Puce Sarcasms's avatar

Release all the Epstein Files!

Stop protecting Pedophiles!

Brianna Amore's avatar

Will there be more? Is water wet?

Scratch an overly self-righteous Christian and find a pedophile.

Maryland Bear's avatar

Just off the top of my head, some of the factors that lead to this:

1) EXTREME sexual repression — they don’t even kiss till their weddings.

2) Hyper-patriarchy that teaches men are not to be questioned.

3) A tradition of partially blaming the victim for sexual abuse.

4) Parents letting their older children handle raising the younger ones.

5) According to some accounts I’ve read, the kids were not to be left alone with Jim-Bob’s father.

Lionel “8647” Hutz's avatar

"No, not Josh. He didn’t get sprung from prison only to immediately start molesting kids and then get rearrested."

So, only January 6 Domestic Terrorist pardoned by Trump so far?

Parker Leo Blinsky's avatar

“Oh sure, what about all the kids we have that don’t molest minors?”

Nancy Potter's avatar

Only 10% of our kids are molesters. Just because the rest of you don't pop out enough kids for the average to apply to you doesn't mean there's anything wrong with our parenting.

Major Kong's avatar

What went on in that house

(aside from carving Trump 2020 into the Tonitown front yard)? Also, great job TLC; thank you for subjecting us to those freaks for years.

Traci Joseph's avatar

I mean, if we removed their genitalia and their arms and legs, they’d be pretty harmless. Maybe blind and deaf too, remove vocal boxes. Just so they can’t exploit children online.

justifiable's avatar

Hey, it's only what Jeebus told them they had to do with those body parts that made them sin, so amputations would be all about helping them be better Christians.

Nemo's avatar

Amputation of penis, scrotum or both were practiced by the Ottomans to create eunuchs. I expect that Satan will inflict that punishment on Trump.

http://www.theottomans.org/english/family/harem5.asp

justifiable's avatar

Nice work if you can get it. Thing is, there's actually no textual evidence that Satan does anything to anyone in hell, since according to scripture hell is actually supposed to be the place where *he's* ultimately punished in a lake of fire.

He's supposed to corrupt and destroy the flesh of the sexually immoral while they're on earth, and cankles and a grotty hand suggest he either doesn't exist, or else he does a shit job of it.

Traci Joseph's avatar

You’re wise beyond your years, and I don’t care if you’re 90 😂

justifiable's avatar

LOL that's code in my family for "You're a smartass" and I've been once since I was a small child back in the 1880's.

Nancy Naive's avatar

Trump Pardons Duggar…

“From the Office of the President of the United States… Attaboy!”

RF_BK's avatar

Maybe ditch church and take a field trip to NYC to see Jellicle Ball. Much safer to be in a theater filled with drag queens and trans people than in a church.

Hooker P Tape skipping dipshit's avatar

I'm sure that was the first and only time he molested someone.

Hooker P Tape skipping dipshit's avatar

Jill & Jessa: Coming Out ?

How did I miss that one?

Jen has Puce Sarcasms's avatar

Wow, is there something in the pedophile-protecting fundamentalist Christian patriarchal water up there in Tontitown, Arkansas?

I have long wondered if those children learned this at home. I believe it is not uncommon for an abuser to have been abused themselves.

Not to excuse any of this, LOTS of people were abused as children and do not abuse themselves later on. There is no way they did not understand it was wrong.

Goonemeritus's avatar

I am not surprised, not even a little bit surprised