Our former colonial masters, the British, used to be renowned for their terrifying navy, which would obliterate rival fleets and bombard barbarian cities from the sea in order to pave the way for colonial conquest. Unfortunately, the Brits are stone cold broke now, having spent all their Pounds Sterling on booze, and so their navy sucks. CASE IN POINT: the HMS Astute, a fancy new submarine that is supposed to be invisible to sonar because of fancy British technology, not-so-astutely got itself stuck in the mud off the coast of Scotland. Is there video? Oh, you bet there's video. Was this video shot by someone who works for some kind of otter rescue group? BELIEVE IT.
KIRK: Scotty, I need more power! SCOTT: I canna do it cap'n, the mud is clinging to the hull. SPOCK: It appears we have a "cling on" problem. KIRK: Uhura, call for a tug. SPOCK: Get it captain, "cling on"? MCCOY: I'm a doctor not a critic but you stink. KIRK: Uhura, where's that tug job I ordered? SPOCK: They love my stuff over in the wonkette galaxy. KIRK: Captain's log, star date blah blah blah. Sulu is looking at me a certain way, though I can't ask because DADT is still under review. CHEKOV: Sensors detect laughter directed at us from the shore line, captain.
The only otter here was "Oughter stay in deeper water".
We sail the ocean blue, And our ship won't make a sound; We're sober men and true, Oh fuck we've run aground.
KIRK: Scotty, I need more power! SCOTT: I canna do it cap'n, the mud is clinging to the hull. SPOCK: It appears we have a "cling on" problem. KIRK: Uhura, call for a tug. SPOCK: Get it captain, "cling on"? MCCOY: I'm a doctor not a critic but you stink. KIRK: Uhura, where's that tug job I ordered? SPOCK: They love my stuff over in the wonkette galaxy. KIRK: Captain's log, star date blah blah blah. Sulu is looking at me a certain way, though I can't ask because DADT is still under review. CHEKOV: Sensors detect laughter directed at us from the shore line, captain.
well that was 10 minutes of my life i'll never get back watching otters play with rocks.
Eating beans won't make you smart, but they will make yr Astute.
As punishment, the crew will be forced to eat haggis until the sub is unstuck.
Very nervous otters.
and the lash
That was the RAF!