Dumb Old Trump Was Yesterday-Years-Old When He Found Out Prosecutors Get Last Word In Trials
Idiot.
Today, as we speak, court has reconvened in New York City for closing arguments in Donald Trump’s criminal trial. That will go however it goes, and Wonkette will have a full recap when it’s ready. After it’s over, regardless of the outcome, Trump will be sentenced to death and Joe Biden will thunderously and maniacally laugh for 666 minutes and America will never be great again as long as all shall live.
Or something.
Panic clearly began to set in last night for Trump.
“WHY IS THE CORRUPT GOVERNMENT ALLOWED TO MAKE THE FINAL ARGUMENT IN THE CASE AGAINST ME? WHY CAN’T THE DEFENSE GO LAST? BIG ADVANTAGE, VERY UNFAIR. WITCH HUNT! DJT”
(He signed it with his initials, in case we mistakenly thought some other lunatic crazy person had taken control of his Truth Social account and was babbling in all caps.)
Bless his heart.
It’s one of those moments where you wonder whether he’s really so stupid that he doesn’t know the prosecution always has the last word, since they’re the ones with the burden of proof, or whether he’s just playing on the stupidity of the people who love him. Has he never seen one single episode of “Law & Order”?
Yes, he is that stupid. Yes, his followers are that stupid. No reason to parse where one ends and the other begins.
Trump babbled last night about “According to virtually all Legal Scholars and Experts, THERE IS NO CRIME OR CASE against President Trump,” and today he’s been backing that up with quotes from “virtually all Legal Scholars and Experts.” Surprise, he means Gregg Jarrett, Jonathan Turley, and Mark Levin, because he thinks the world respects the Fox News laughingstock pigsnorts he respects.
He is just so confused and enraged, confused and enraged, everlastingly confused and enraged, and all his tweets yesterday showed it.
Trump still thinks, or wants his idiot followers to think, that GAG ORDER means he.was somehow prevented from testifying, when the truth is that he didn’t testify because either 1) he is a coward, 2) his lawyers wouldn’t let him, because he would surely lie on the stand within seconds of being sworn in, or 3) both.
Here’s another Trump Truth Tweet from yesterday, oh man he is wilding out:
The holiday-themed text:
Happy Memorial Day to All, including the Human Scum that is working so hard to destroy our Once Great Country, & to the Radical Left, Trump Hating Federal Judge in New York that presided over, get this, TWO separate trials, that awarded a woman, who I never met before (a quick handshake at a celebrity event, 25 years ago, doesn’t count!), 91 MILLION DOLLARS for “DEFAMATION.” She didn’t know when the so-called event took place - sometime in the 1990’s - never filed a police report, didn’t have to produce the “dress” that she threatened me with (it showed negative!), & sung my praises in the first half of her CNN Interview with Alison Cooper, but changed her tune in the second half - Gee, I wonder why (UNDER APPEAL!)? The Rape charge was dropped by a jury! Or Arthur Engoron, the N.Y. State Wacko Judge who fined me almost 500 Million Dollars (UNDER APPEAL) for DOING NOTHING WRONG, used a Statute that has never been used before, gave me NO JURY, Mar-a-Lago at $18,000,000 - Now for Merchan!
Sure, why not go ahead and defame the woman he raped some more? It’s worked out so well for him in the past.
As the New York Times explains, Trump lawyer Todd Blanche is expected to rant and rave for about two hours today, and after that, Joshua Steinglass from the prosecutors’ side will recap every bit of the case they made in great detail. This could be done today, or it could go into tomorrow. Then the jury will get instructions, and each juror will get issued one (1) pitchfork, which will they will use to WITCH HUNT and ELECTION INTERFERENCE and RIGGED Donald Trump, right in his hindquarters.
After they are finished with the pitchforks, they must return them personally to Joe Biden, who built them in his Delaware basement for just this purpose.
As for the scene at the courthouse today, the Times reports that the lines to get in this morning were very long, and that Don Jr., Eric, and even Tiffany are there, along with Eric’s and Tiffany’s spouses.
So still not Ivanka. Man, she must literally not give a shit about him anymore.
Oh well, we wouldn’t either if he was our dad.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
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I love the smell of narcissistic collapse in the morning. Twist, you awful bastard.
I hope the closing arguments to the jury are something like: "The defendant is a crybaby who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, who has never been made to face a single consequence in his entire life, and has dragged the country, his family, and his own reputation through the mud in a desperate attempt to stay consequence-free until the grave. Don't let him have that victory - please make him accept that crimes committed before he was president don't magically disappear because he won an election one time."