509 Comments

Isn't it refreshing to see a politician's wife not stand bravely by him after he imploded his career by fucking her over every which way he could?

Expand full comment

Ta, Evan. What the fuck is with this timeline?

Expand full comment

Non-Union writers.

Expand full comment

I guess it’s Sporky’s 50th birthday, so she posed in a bathing suit, with perhaps a little digital nipping and tucking. I guess I saw it before I realized what the consequences of seeing it would be.

Expand full comment

"I guess I saw it before I realized what the consequences of seeing it would be."

Did you turn into a pillar of MSG?

Expand full comment

"Alison Cooper"? Did his diseased "brain" mix up Alice Cooper and Anderson Cooper?

Expand full comment

An easy mistake.

Expand full comment

Honestly, I think it was a slam on Anderson Cooper's sexual orientation

Expand full comment

Unfortunately, Pixeloid's suggestion is just as likely.

Expand full comment

Was he secretly infected with the Rage Virus from 28 Days Later?

Expand full comment

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Let Mango Menace give the final words to the jury before they retire to decide!

'Mr Trump, tell us in your own words - and take as long as you want to - your thoughts and feelings about this trial, and the many others you will be facing soon. I'll start you off - 'Men and Women of the Jury, or HUMAN SCUM as I like to call you......''

Expand full comment

you know, I don’t think he really does want “the Human Scum that is working so hard to destroy our Once Great Country” to have a good Memorial Day.

Expand full comment

Don't say that. I was just happy he remembered me.

Expand full comment

His clincher of a closing argument he was denied: NUH UH!

Expand full comment

There'll be ketchup on the walls tonight if Blanche doesn't spend his entire two hours repeating over and over that Donnie never had sex with that woman.

Expand full comment

"Blanche"

But is Stella buying it?

Expand full comment

That top photo is amazing: TFG wearing Fucker Tarlson's patented ball-peened expression!

Expand full comment

That's his poop-face.

Expand full comment

To be fair, Tiffany has to be there so Trump will remember to include her on the inheritance list.

Expand full comment

Tiff's rich. Married a real billionaire. Took his name also, too.

Expand full comment

There is not going to be a penny left

Expand full comment

I'm so old, I remember when Memorial Day Messages from former presidents seldom alluded to rape, defamation, dollar amounts, semen stained dresses (somehow even Clinton managed Memorial Day Messages without that), wackos, and so, so, so much more. Nikki Haley is shit; how the fuck is this turd floating in dog vomit, who was commander in chief and so sent men and women to their graves but can't spare three fucking sentences for them amidst airing grievances for being held to account, how the fuck is this what you vote for?

Expand full comment

Nikki's not going to vote for him. Just avoiding the shit the MAGAs inflict on anyone who says otherwise.

Expand full comment

I wonder why the defendant doesn't know anything about criminal court procedure? He's constantly praising his acumen, and how he knows and understands things better than anyone because his uncle was on the faculty at MIT. But he doesn't know this elementary 1L bit of how a criminal case is run. Sad!

Expand full comment

He's been the defendant in enough trials, you'd think he would know

Expand full comment

Those cases, you just bury people with money.

Expand full comment

Nailed it again, Evan! Many thanks !

Expand full comment

“Happy Memorial Day…”

Only a true America-Hater (and Hitler-lover) would call for happiness over the deaths of U.S. service men and women

Expand full comment

Speaking for the Texas Chapter of Human Scum, the attendees of today's trial are an interesting sign. Three of the five children and some spouses thrown in as well? This looks like jockeying for position on the last Will and Testament of DJT. It seems like a dress rehearsal for the open casket viewing at Mar-a-Lago and a celebration of a new National Holiday Day "The Day the Drama Died" or you could substitute Donald for Drama, both work.

Expand full comment

I think they have started their campaigns to be The Crown Prince or Princess. Someone will have to take over and Make America Great Againer.

Enraged Trump, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo

Enraged Trump, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo

Enraged Trump, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo

Donald Trump.

Poopy Trump, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo ...

adapted from:Baby Shark; Written by: Min Seok Kim; Album: Pinkfong Animal Songs

Released: 2017

Expand full comment

Old Fat Pandora -- a professed adherent of "Life Begins at Conception" Learnings -- is in fact 9 months older than usually stated, making him a sprightly 79 instead the almost 78 he wishes he still was. (were?)

Expand full comment