Dumbass Uses AI To Frame Boss, Hopes It Can Also Serve Jail Sentence For Him

Yet another use case suggesting AI is bad.

Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

If you are a school employee who must commit a crime, do not — and we can’t stress this enough — commit a crime that is easily investigated by the principal of your school.

But if you do commit a crime easily investigated by the principal of your school, do not — and we also can’t stress this enough — compound your problem by committing more crimes.

But if you must commit more crimes — and really, again, don’t do this — do not commit them against said principal in an obvious and blatant act of revenge designed to fuck up his life and derail the investigation of your original crimes that he is already investigating.

And yet, all of this was allegedly done by Dazhon Darien, the athletic director of Pikesville High School, near Baltimore. Darien is now facing a whole assload of criminal charges and had to resign from his job. His alleged crime? Using AI tools to make a fake recording of his principal, Eric Eiswert, being a huge racist and anti-Semite, which threw the entire community into an uproar and resulted in Eiswert’s family getting death threats. All because Eiswert was investigating him for improperly appropriating $1900, an amount that Donald Trump wouldn’t even get out of bed for.

Okay, that’s not true. Donald Trump would get out of bed to steal $1900. Donald Trump would steal his own grandchildren’s piggy banks to pay his legal bills and then sue them for defamation when they got mad about it.

Anyway.

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Eiswert initiated the investigation of Darien in December after coming to suspect that the athletic director had authorized paying the school’s junior varsity basketball coach, who was also his roommate, the sum of an extra $1,916, on the false pretense that the roommate had also served as an assistant girls soccer coach.

Sometime in the weeks after Darien was notified about the investigation, an audio clip of Eiswert making insanely bigoted comments about Blacks and Jews surfaced on an Instagram account that appears to track crime in Baltimore. Among other charmers, the recording had Eiswert saying that “ungrateful Black kids can’t test their way out of a paper bag” and that if he had to listen to any more complaints from Jews in the community, he would “join the other side.”

Needless to say, the reaction of the community was incandescent rage, split between Pikesville High students and a few teachers who thought the recording was real and Eiswert’s colleagues who were convinced it had been faked somehow. Eiswert went on leave (he still has not returned) and reportedly needed a “police presence” at his home after his family was harassed and threatened. Security at the school also had to be increased.

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Then multiple experts started coming forward to analyze the audio, and wouldn’t you know it:

Catalin Grigoras, a forensic analyst and professor at the University of Colorado Denver, concluded that the “recording contained traces of AI-generated content with human editing after the fact, which added background noises for realism,” the charging documents stated.

Hany Farid from the University of California, Berkeley, who’s also an expert in forensic analysis, determined “the recording was manipulated, and multiple recordings were spliced together,” according to the documents.

This leads us to our next no-no: If you are a school athletic director who wants to make a fake audio recording framing your boss, do not — and really, this is just best practices in criming — do this:

Police wrote in charging documents that Darien had accessed the school’s network on multiple occasions in December and January searching for OpenAI tools, and used “Large Language Models” that practice “deep learning, which involves pulling in vast amounts of data from various sources on the internet, can recognize text inputted by the user, and produce conversational results.”

Has no one seen a police show or movie or watched “60 Minutes” in the last three decades? Your employer’s computer networks are not there to protect your privacy, especially if you are googling “How do I use AI to frame my boss?”

Having made the recording, Darien appears to have anonymously emailed it to himself and two other teachers. One of those teachers, Shaena Ravenell, then

forwarded the email to a student’s cell phone, “who she knew would rapidly spread the message around various social media outlets and throughout the school,” and also sent it to the media and the NAACP, police said.

Ravenell didn’t mention that Darien had sent her the audio until the police confronted her about his involvement. She and Darien have both since submitted their resignations.

To top it all off, Darien was apprehended when he tried to get on a plane to Houston while carrying a gun, which led to airport officials finding out there was a warrant out for his arrest. The police are not sure if he was trying to flee prosecution, but if so, he sure went about it in the dumbest way possible. Which, we suppose, is par for the course.

Yr Wonkette thinks AI is bad and stupid for lots of reasons, though we are not necessarily of the screaming Chicken-Little-the-sky-is-falling-omg-they-built-Skynet species of AI fearmongerer. Stories like this might get us to change our minds, though.

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