17 Comments

"Did you wear a condom??" "Yes...but only on my penis."

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Damn, I was hoping it meant you get to don a helmet and get launched out of a cannon into the jury box. Knock them all down, win your case!

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Just how much proof do they need before he's declared mentally ill and locks him up in a mental health facility?

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You misspelled "is"

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The rest is silence.

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Well, "I'm going blind" meant he's getting near-sighted and needs glasses, sooo. . .

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My mom AND my daughter are drama queens so I'm the filling in a drama sandwich.

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A couple of years ago a student mentioned my favorite non-existent (or is it?) disorder: Post Dramatic Stress Disorder. Beck can cause that disorder.

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I'll start stocking up on champagne!

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Except sometimes he can't find any coffee. Or vodka.

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Isn't that what the scooters are for?

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Someone could use a few hits of propofol and a nap.

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<i>'...toxins in his body"</i>

That comes from watching Fox News. It's when anger mixes with stupid and cheese fries.

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You might not hear from me for a while; I’ll be busy in some graveyard digging a nice deep hole for Mr. Beck.

Monsieur Grumpe the Happy Grave Digger.

Extra bonus video also!!! <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watc..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EJ5SJmsTFQ">http://www.youtube.com/watc...

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I think I can identify his mental condition. Today I was reading student papers and one of them mentioned various techniques for managing "attention-defecation disorder". (I am NOT kidding) At the time I thought it was a typo but now I believe the student is on the cutting edge of psychology.

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