East Wing To Be Turned Into Golf Court Filler. Oh, The Indignity.
Well, you got to melt down Confederate statues so heritage checkmate, libs.
Boy, Donald Trump sure loves burying things on golf courses, doesn’t he? His first wife. The East Wing of the White House. Wait, what?
Yes, if you were wondering what happened to all that rubble left lying around the White House this week after Trump and his merry band of ghouls gleefully took a wrecking ball to the historic East Wing, we now have an answer. On Friday much of the ruins was loaded onto trucks and taken to the East Potomac Golf Links, a municipal course located on an island in the Potomac River not far from the White House.
Trump would have made a good mafioso. He disposes of bodies quickly.
The wreckage will be used to build mounds and other terrain changes on the course, just as Ivana is now a hazard on the first hole at Bedminster. Presumably you will not be penalized at East Potomac if your tee shot bounces off the frame of some wrecked Barbara Bush portrait that didn’t get fully buried.
Oh, and there’s this from The New Republic:
Trump has reportedly been considering rebranding the golf course as the “Washington National Golf Course,” with a new logo eerily similar to that of his own courses.
Of course he is. You didn’t think the President of the United States had more important duties than redoing a city golf course, did you? How does he find the time between tantrums?
Frankly, we’re shocked Trump is not naming the course after himself. Or naming half the buildings in Washington after himself, at this point. He’s already allegedly slapped his name on that soon-to-be-built golden ballroom. But there is still plenty of time for horrors as yet undreamed.
Inside Edition, of all places, slapped together a piece that actually asked a couple of questions we were wondering about. This included asking an environmental scientist some serious questions, such as Is it dangerous to inhale dust clouds rising from wrecked buildings and No, seriously, we still have so much to live for.
Bottom line, the scientist said, is that yes, it’s dangerous. You have no idea what’s in those clouds: toxic metals, particulates, monsters created by a secret government lab like in The Mist.
So not only might the demolition crews have breathed in all that crap, but so might White House staff, reporters, visiting dignitaries, Melania — ha ha, no, just kidding, she doesn’t live there — tourists standing near the fence and watching the building come down, and the golfers at East Potomac Golf Links, who were just trying to get in a round to kick off their weekend a little early and are returning home with doctored scorecards and lungfuls of lead.
Waaaaay off the top of our heads here, we are going to guess that the White House didn’t do an asbestos assessment before they tore down the building that was built back in the 1940s when asbestos was practically considered an essential vitamin and nutrient. Good luck, all living things in the vicinity.
So what treasures will Trump decide to bury on a golf course next? His second and third wives? Gustavo Petro? The Epstein files? The remaining shards of America’s dignity?
Consider our loins girded.
We promise your generous donations will not be put towards our greens fees.
Zero.
That's the number of NWS notifications I got overnight while high winds and tornados and flooding ravaged by my side of town in Houston.
Thankfully, the only damage was a large fallen tree that fucked up my fence, but no damage to my house.
Not really OT: after the Great Fire of Rome in 64 AD, Nero had his Golden House built to replace the Imperial House that had been burned down. In front of his Golden House was a statue of himself, as a Colossus. After his suicide, the fed up Romans tore down his Golden House and Colossus statue. Eventually the Flavian Emperors built an arena on the site, which still stands. We call it the Colosseum, after the Colossus statue of Nero, but his shit is gone.