El Presidente Trump, Language Speaker. Tabs, Tues., Apr. 7, 2026

Uy, qué rollo.

tabs gifs by Martini Glambassador!

Good morning, it’s tabs.

Donald Trump is going to run for president of Venezuela and Joe Biden will steal that from him too probably. Says he’s going to learn Spanish very easily, because he is good at languages.

Donald Trump is telling “sir” stories (means they are lies) about his halfwit real estate diplomat Steve Witkoff coming to him and telling him “sir, sir!” the Iranians are not able to communicate with people! (When your administration is full of MAGA dipshits, you’re not likely to have a Farsi translator in the house. Maybe president “good at languages” could learn some!) So now they’re having to negotiate like they did TWO THOUSAND YEARS AGO “with children bringing a note back and forth.” You know, the way Easter Jesus did it.

Speaking of Easter Jesus:

Donald Trump says Vladimir Putin tells him that he’s scared of America and Donald Trump is stupid enough to believe him. You know, unless he’s hallucinating.

Donald Trump thinks he killed Bin Laden now (Barack Obama did that, with his bare hands), and he’s still repeating the hallucination that he wrote in his book a prediction of 9/11. Did not happen.

Donald Trump has not heard that people are concerned that Donald Trump’s rapidly advancing dementia is rapidly advancing even more rapidly these days:

Recap:

So as you can see, Dear Leader and his Dementia did a press conference yesterday about the war he started against Iran, where he is being humiliated day by day by day.

Even Alex Jones sees Trump’s dementia. [JoeMyGod]

Trump also did the White House Easter Egg Roll yesterday, where he babbled at small children about Joe Biden’s autopen. [JoeMyGod]

And then there was:

And then there was:

Easter is the day where we celebrate Jesus. Easter is the day where we celebrate religion. Easter is the day where we celebrate Donald Trump’s stock market, which is currently up a goat’s asshole. Easter is basically Donald Trump.

Here is a horrific story about a detained three-year-old toddler who was sexually abused repeatedly in ICE custody. Not by an ICE agent, but we understand why you assumed. Still their fault, and Donald Trump’s fault, and Kristi Noem’s fault, and Dan Bovino’s fault, and Tom Homan’s fault. All their faults. [Jezebel]

Viktor Orbán, who will lose his upcoming elections like a big loser if they’re clean, wants no part of Donald Trump’s dumbass war. [TeleSUR]

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Stop making us be on Nate Silver’s side. [Eric Gonzalez Jeunke on Bluesky]

More where that came from:

The RNC’s got a real hard-on to strip voting rights from Americans living abroad, and they’re starting to file lawsuits accordingly. We guess they’re worried Americans living among the actual world don’t vote like their base, AKA easily trained white conservative Christian men with severe masculinity and daddy issues. Also unbathed Bubbas. [Democracy Docket]

Megyn Kelly would love Trump even if he dropped a nuke because did you hear Elissa Slotkin was a total bitch to Pete Hegseth? (SPEAKING OF masculinity and daddy issues.) [JoeMyGod]

Speaking of masculinity and daddy issues a whole bunch more, here is Pete Hegseth rubbing himself raw about how today will be the BIGGEST BOMBING DAY EVER. [Reuters]

Hahaha, say a British prayer, because Kanye West might get banned from that country. [NBC News]

Wow, we originally published this without saying anything at the end here. Oh well. END OF POST.

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