375 Comments

Hip, hip, hurrah!

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He's for it, it has tremendous energy!

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Old Cop Joke:

"what goes clip-clop,clip-clop, BANG! BANG!, clippetty-clop, clippetty-clop....

A: An Amish drive-by shooting

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"The non-smoking sign will be off for the duration of this flight. We will start our complementary beverage service (choice of warm Mountain-Dew or Bud Light), as soon as we are out of sniper range"

"Thank you for traveling the Deliverance Shuttle!"Your Flight Crew: Capt. Cletus and First Officer Jethro https://uploads.disquscdn.c...

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Dunno, if I break her Law, is there spanking? And what happens after that? https://uploads.disquscdn.c...

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Honest, BS, that extra time on the crunch bench is working for ya'!

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"Come with me if you want a Slim Jim and warm Gatorade"

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Delivery doorbell or oven timer ding works well

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Dunno. Payload-lift calculation are hard enough without taking into account the mass of the "average" Trump supporter types who might buy their scam-services https://uploads.disquscdn.c...

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Just carry some Slim Jims, set them on the ground and back away without making eye contact

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"It wasn't my fault we crashed, Cletus, what good is an autopilot if it can't even land the damn plane!"

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Physics

Physics and incompetence

Physics, Incompetence, and Surprise, these are our secret weapons!

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I LOL'ed too, 'cause I carried that Colt 1911A1 .45 ACP for 7 long years until we switched to the Beretta 92 9mm. 3 Safeties on that thing it was about as safe as a 3-year old with a running chain saw

I read an article that said all the .45's issued during WW2 probably killed more GI's than enemies

I remember the Gunny at the range: "Fire 3 rounds and throw it at 'im!"

FNG wit: "But Gunny, what if he picks it up and fires at me?"

Gunny: "Don't worry, he can't hit shit with it either"

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That "dickhead" is getting me out. Well, his video is. I can't believe there was a time I could have watched that thing and laughed.

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