Remember When Elizabeth Warren Literally Murdered Donald Trump On The Twitter? Your Weekly Top Ten
AHOY WONKERS, HOW'S TRICKS? We are fine, thank you for asking. Welcome to Saturday, the day when we deliver unto you the weekly Top Ten List, full of all your favorites from this past week! READ THEM ALL! Or read them again and check out the new comments to see if someone said something super clever or whatnot!
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Anywho, let us commence with the listing of our top ten articles from this week! THEN MORE BABBY PICTURES!
1. Massachusetts nerd goddess Sen. Elizabeth Warren basically straight up MURDERED Donald Trump with a tweetstorm of awesome.
2. A server in a Chinese restaurant got in trouble for mocking some jerk hipsters who were acting like jerks.
3. The FBI totally proved they were all paid shills for Hillary Clinton by not finding anything incriminating in her emails.
4. Camile Paglia had it UP TO HERE with Hillary's gross wormwood tits.
5. Attorney General Loretta Lynch kicked North Carolina's ass , announced that the Justice Department would be supporting the rights of trans people to use the correct bathrooms!
6. Wingnuts made a lot of terrible jokes about Elizabeth Warren being A FAKE INDIAN in our deleted comments .
7. Creationist Homeschool Mom Megan Fox wrote a book about how mean all the porn lovin' librarians were to her.
8. Former Arizona Governor Jan Brewer told Jake Tapper all about how she is a COOL GIRL who can totally hang out with the guys, not like those other girls who get all offended when Donald Trump calls them bimbos.
9. Sean Anderson, a Bundy militia dude known for going on a crazed rant, is very sorry and embarrassed now , but you have to understand that he was nearly murdered by birds.
10. PJ O'Rourke hopes to destroy Donald Trump just like he destroyed the National Lampoon.
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Those were the days of two-fisted, rugged journalists exposing political corruption by space aliens and Bat Boy.
Obviously Ms. Hillary had been seduced by a smooth talking charmer from the outer Oort Belt. Who can blame her? She's only human! That rascal in the picture only had one thing on his twelve minds.
The Donald floated in his anti-gravity cloud asleep. The massage therapist set up her table and arranged the tools of her trade: the music web to relax the client, the incense, the holographic art projection, the towel and the candle.
Donald drifted down to the floor and turned the anti-grav off.As he disrobed, panels in the ceiling opened and four Secret Service Grav-droids floated into the room. Simple machines which hovered around the Emperor For Life of the whole planet. Each grav-droid was armed with a variety of weapons. No one who made any attempt to harm Donald would escape a quick, computer-targeted death.
But this massage therapist was the 17th assassin sent to make the attempt and she had been training for three years for this chance. Accelochrome, masked by pain killers coursed through her blood and the hidden weapons in the table had evaded detection thanks to the bandwidth scrambling nanotech shielding. People had died obtaining that tech and the massage therapist had no intention of letting their sacrifice be wasted.
Next: Don't Touch That!