479 Comments
User's avatar
Livi C.-Hall's avatar

Wow, how weird 🤔

Expand full comment
Wookiee Monster's avatar

Elno once again demonstrated why arbitrarily firing half the company the second after you buy is never a good idea.

Expand full comment
Wookiee Monster's avatar

AI needs to be destroyed just because of that image.

Expand full comment
Littorally Speaking's avatar

NOT A CULT NOT A CULT YOUR A CULT !!1!

Expand full comment
Lynn Veit's avatar

And how!

Expand full comment
Lynn Veit's avatar

Now: WHERE THE HELL IS GODDAMN BRAIN BLEACH!?!?!?!?

Expand full comment
Revenant's avatar

Fair's fair, you know, Convict Donnie IS a notorious big goddamn baby, the kind of twenty-four hour a day howler that makes you yearn for the days of paregoric. And Space Nazi does have a ridiculously inflated belief in his importance, plus he is always showing his ass.

Expand full comment
donna's avatar

Kind of looks like trump has no balls in that picture.

Expand full comment
Bob's avatar

Did you grab that pic from Elon's Grindr profile?

Expand full comment
Vesper's avatar

Regarding the squirrel situation what animal control based person goes to grab any wild animal without leather gloves on? They took the raccoon as well and euthanized it too and there was nothing said about it biting anyone so I think the whole rabies explanation from them is just bs, If it bit some one during removal it's a fail of the 'you had one job' because yes to test for rabies you have to euthanize the animal in question to confirm though seeing cute squirrel footage I highly doubt it was rabid. I do understand why this is a story to people during a stressful time when any distraction is welcome it has a cute animal and injustice involved though I had no idea P'nut the squirrel was a thing until after his demise.

Musk is aptly named isn't he though? Always crashing about ruining things like a bull elephant in rut trying to win over baby mommies with failed humor attempts and a no doubt luxurious compound to raise his precious loin fruit in.

Expand full comment
Lynn Veit's avatar

Elon's "loin fruit." ICK.

Expand full comment
Erisian's avatar

"Elon Musk attempted to hold a “town hall” on Twitter Monday night, to help get out the vote for Donald Trump"

If Xitter had worked like it did prior to Elmo the Man-child breaking it like a Christmas toy an hour after it was opened, IMO it wouldn't have made much of a difference -- and certainly not like Elmo and the Fulvous Flatulence expected it to go. (The rest of the world, or at least those people who live in reality, probably didn't expect more than they got.) Had the town hall been sans glitches, I'm still not sure what was the expected outcome.

Almost all of those tuning in have already drank the Kool-Aid, so I don't see the Amber Ardipithecus ramidus adding any undecideds to his vote total. Plus, as an interviewer Musk sucks the big hairy meatball. The smart move would have been Musk hosting the interview, but conducted by the RINOs' favorite lapdog squawking head: Preppy Le Pew (*ucker Carlson).

-----

"the bored billionaire skipped off to something new that had his attention"

New and unusual things like griping about the raw deal he got in 2020, ruminating about revenge, objecting to Pres Biden's weaponized DOJ nonstop harassment, checking and rechecking his enemies list, hunting down Republicans that haven't kowtowed before him yet, thinking up new dogwhistles for his knuckle draggers to act upon... Please note that none of these activities would have gone on for long; the Sociopathic Marigold Swamp Monster has an attention span just short of a gnat's.

-----

“Well, I think if people vote tomorrow, we’re definitely going to win.”

Election day is when real Americans (read: MAGAdroids) vote, and those should be the only ballots counted. It matters not one whit that the number of absentee, mail-in, and in-person early voting already surpassed half of the total number of votes cast in 2020; these people must be punished for finding an easier, more convenient, and legal way to vote. If some of the discarded votes were for the Mango Malignancy, well, sometimes you have to throw out the baby with the bathwater.

-----

"It belonged to some guy who’s big on OnlyFans"

Question: since OnlyFans is predominantly porn were there videos of the rando fucking his squirrel? Enquiring minds not only want to know, but need to know.

-----

"Men are voting in record numbers."

The RINO men have to turn out in record numbers. They have been told, flat out, that the wifey is not dependent on her man for directions on who to vote for, and that the little woman will vote for whomever she damn well chooses.

-----

Why is Elmo only holding an American flag in that inspirational pic? Has he given up on S Africa and Canada? After all, he's a world citizen holding passports from both countries, as well as a US one.

fnord

Expand full comment
Gary Seven in Space's avatar

That pic is Man Bear Pig! Gore warned us!!!

Expand full comment
Revenant's avatar

"Human-animal hybrids". I will never forget C- Caesar staring into the camera and slowly enunciating those words, as if they were an incantation that he had to get word-perfect lest he inadvertently summon up a demon.

Expand full comment
Paula Wade's avatar

Dammit you! I cannot scour that image from my eyes! Next time, give us a warning label or something!

Expand full comment
NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

Anyone else see Hanover Fiste in Elno’s little fantasy?!? Assmouth must be the Loc-Nar!!!

Expand full comment
FencingRaven's avatar

Um… that Elno/Rogen/baby(?!) Convicted Felon image… 😶

Expand full comment
Gary Seven in Space's avatar

It's the real ManBearPig!

Expand full comment
Bupkus231's avatar

Seeing this shit from Musk, I'm beginning to wonder if we've been worrying about the cognitive abilities of the wrong man - either that, or what PAB has is contagious

Expand full comment
Lynn Veit's avatar

Elno has always been a whining idiot IMO.

Expand full comment
NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

My money is on syphilis.

Expand full comment
SethTriggs's avatar

Let's all leave Apartheid Clyde in the dust, everyone!

Expand full comment
sea tea dee ay's avatar

> In conclusion, stay away from Ketamine and Twitter, kids

hey now, I use ketamine in a controlled setting with FDA-approved measured doses under supervision of a physician for my depression, and my baseline is way higher than it was a year ago.

Whatever the fuck Apartheid Clyde over there is doing, leave the theraputic bits out of it.

(but yeah, stay away from twitter)

Expand full comment
Fifth Dentist's avatar

First thing: That image is verrrrrrry Nazi art kind of stuff.

Thing the 2nd: PAB will hate that he's being held up by two -- TWO -- other people. He's the alpha who carries the whole country on his shoulders, because only he can fix it!

Another thing: The next-door neighbor when I was a kid had a squirrel he'd raised. One day I saw him, the squirrel, not the neighbor, while I was walking in the nearby woods and squatted down for him to come to me. Which he did, but then he attacked my thumb for no apparent reason. Actually quite bloody. Those bastards have sharp teeth.

When my mom called the DNR they told her there were no cases of squirrels being carriers for rabies and I wouldn't have to have the painful series of injections in the stomach. Fucking squirrel.

However, I didn't rat on the squirre,l so my neighbor didn't have to murder it.

Expand full comment
Revenant's avatar

that is a very interesting choice of words- "rat on the squirrel". I may have nightmares about it.

Expand full comment
Sko Hayes's avatar

Several years ago, a woman had a baby racoon show up in her yard, so of course the first thing she did was start taking the racoon everywhere with her. Until it started acting strangely and it bit her. Fortunately, she did go to the doctor and the racoon was euthanized and found to be carrying rabies.

Seventeen people had to get the rabies series (which is like 5 shots in the arm, if I remember correctly).

So be aware that wild animals are not pets and shouldn't be kept as such with out being licensed and trained in wildlife rehab.

Expand full comment
Fifth Dentist's avatar

Well, my neighbor's dead and I live in another town now, anyway, so probably don't have to worry about that squirrel.

Years ago my then next-door neighbor's male cat daintily brought a teeny raccoon with its eyes still closed to their door. I raised him, feeding multiple times a day, and taking him to work. One day he somehow worked himself underneath the towel in the animal carrier and was suffocated by the weight.

RIP Critter.

But the DNR people seemed to think that squirrels weren't carriers, said not to worry about it.

I did read about a woman who took a puppy in while vacationing in the Philippines and fed it. Although it didn't bite here, apparently, she got rabies and died.

Expand full comment