Elon Musk Sorry Nobody Got His Hilarious 'Joke' About Assassination, Lesson Definitely Learned!
He was just making a FUNNY about assassinating Biden and Harris, you see!
On Sunday someone tried to assassinate Donald Trump. It was the second attempt on the former president’s life in two months. Clearly this is a time for calm, sober reflection from all of us as we await more information about the assassin and his possible motives, how he was able to almost penetrate the Secret Service security bubble, the ramifications for other people under the Secret Service’s protection, et cetera and so forth.
Or everyone can go ahead and be a fucking moron like this guy:
Elon Musk is not just the richest man in the world, he’s also apparently the dumbest. It’s quite a two-fer!
That tweet stayed up for a few hours before someone — his lawyers, a high-up government official, one of his sycophants having a brief moment of both more and legal clarity? — convinced Musk to delete it, or before Musk deleted and replaced it all by himself, with an ass-covering Ha ha ha, it was simply a joke, I can’t believe everyone didn’t see it, for I am a simpleton who has just learned about the internet and the existence of other people five minutes ago!
People just didn’t understand the subtle humor the way Elon’s inner circle of irony-poisoned wealthy tech bros did. But at least Elon learned a valuable lesson that just because he thinks it’s funny, not everyone else can appreciate it. Most people learn this lesson long before they turn 53, but Elon isn’t most people. Also we doubt he really learned the lesson.
And that’s assuming you want to give him the benefit of the doubt that he was joking, which we do not. More likely it was his seeing a ton of tweets wondering if the government should zero out the multi-billion-dollar contracts that keep his companies afloat and revoke whatever security clearance he’s been granted that did the trick.
Thankfully everyone else reacted with civility and grace. Ha ha, just kidding. Here’s Laura Loomer:
Well, that confirms that he kicked her off his plane at some point.
Stephen Miller, perhaps sensing that his dream of building an archipelago of concentration camps to imprison everyone in America who has darker skin than he does — which, given his Nosferatu-esque pallor, is almost everyone — was in danger, was his usual calm self. There’s too much to reprint here, but this is enough to get the flavor:
Donald Trump: Immigrants are poisoning the blood of our country, we must get rid of them!
Donald Trump’s biggest sycophants: How dare you imply there’s anything Nazi-esque about our eliminationist language towards disfavored racial and religious minorities! This is an unconscionable smear of our political ideology! Also, have you ever read “Liberal Fascism?” Great book!
There was a lot of yammering about a “radical leftist” who tried to kill the former president, though an initial perusal of the would-be assassin’s social media suggests a guy whose beliefs were all over the map. It will all get sorted out, but our forecast is for at least another 24 hours of tropical storm-force frothing and finger-pointing. It should taper off by Tuesday afternoon, or the next time JD Vance knowingly baselessly accuses innocent immigrants of barbecuing his dog, whichever comes first.
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