Elon Musk Watch: What’s The King Of Kekistan Up To Today?

Just his boys rooting around in Social Security for blackmail material or whatever!

Drugs? Him? (screengrab)

That world’s richest man has been mighty busy over the past 24 hours, Xitting or re-Xitting post about 104 times, so far, at least once an hour all night and day. Groinked on trucker speed? Pre-scheduling his shitposts? We are just asking! However does he find the time and energy to do it all, plus passing his sperm around to all the places that need it?

Whatever he’s all janked out on — it’s probably regular human joy — he does not apear to be thinking about his thirteenth child, and he’s definitely not thinking about the 6,000 USAID workers who got stranded overseas after he claims to have fed the agency into a “woodchipper,” leaving them with no flights home. And he would prefer you not to know who is on his DOGE squad, and he DOUBLE REALLY doesn’t want you to worry your pretty head about all the nefarious things they might be up to poking around in the Social Security and IRS systems and everywhere else. Just trust him, BRUH. He harrumphed on Xitter:

Bruh, if I wanted to rummage through random personal shit, I could have done that at PAYPAL. Hello???

Then, just a few hours later, he appeared to admit that’s exactly what he is doing, minus the “random” part. He reposted with pointy fingers “Chaotic Good” responding to Adam Schiff:

Oh, okay, so he is only going through the finances of political rivals, whew.

WAIT UH NO that is, in fact, extremely much worse than some DOGE kid wanking to how much his favorite OnlyFans model paid into Social Security last year. WHICH WOULD ALSO BE BAD AND ILLEGAL. Yep, Elon just over here confirming everybody’s worst suspicions that his snooping is about control over anyone who conflicts with his (and/or Donald Trump’s) interests, Stasi-like. (When it’s his companies getting $18 billion from the government, that’s not a conflict with taxpayer interests, that’s just being good at business, you see.)

Yesterday afternoon, (Acting) Social Security Commissioner Michelle King stepped down after refusing to give DOGE staffers at the Social Security Administration access to private information. So now we guess DOGE’s Michael Russo has the access, with the help of new (acting) Commissioner Leland Dudek, who they had to reach down into the ranks to find.

And Musk posted some lies about Social Security:

But, you can go on the Social Security page right now and see the breakdown of who is getting payments by age, and these numbers do not add up. There’s about 59 million people total over the age of 62 getting retirement or disability payments, not the 103 million or so his chart shows. Where are these numbers from? Who knows?

In other Xitted lies,

The REAL reason so many Democrats are upset about entitlements (social security, medical, etc) fraud investigations is that they are using your taxpayer money as handouts to attract and retain ILLEGAL immigrants. Their future voters.

That’s what it’s all about.

Truth.

Undocumented immigrants don’t get Social Security. Period.

What else has he been on about in just the past day?

Oh, just reposting Catturd a bunch of times; posting support for the AfD (“‘Germany is for the Germans!’ German citizens do not want mass immigration and terrorism to destroy their country”) and how it’s time for “liberating” Germany “again”; posting that Wikipedia is “Leftist propaganda” and offering a million bucks to them (again) if they change their name to “Dickipedia”; posting George Soros conspiracies; posting concern that the birth rate is too low; reposting that Tom Hanks is a pedo and a-hole; reposting something about a girl raped by Egyptian immigrants in Italy; calling the AP “Associated Propaganda”; confirming that DOGE is making changes to the Treasury system right after government lawyers swore in court that they were not doing that (“Major improvement in Treasury payment integrity going live!”) and coming up with some conspiracy theory about how Fort Knox is empty.

Which of course he has no way of knowing, because he is a nobody. The vault door at Fort Knox, AKA the United States Bullion Depository, is set on a 100-hour time lock, and can only be opened by members of the depository staff who have to dial separate combinations. Visitors are not allowed inside, though the president or secretary of the Treasury or congresspeople can plan a visit, like Franklin Roosevelt did in 1943, or Steve Mnuchin and Mitch McConnell in 2017. (Remember that? Mnuchin was accused of using government funds to fly to see a solar eclipse and was like, NUH UH, I am visiting the gold instead! Then he posed for a picture with the gold, and tweeted “Glad gold is safe!”)

But no, Musk cannot just stroll into Fort Knox, apparently to his great disappointment.

So is he even managing anybody, or doing anything except shitposting all day and taking his favored child around to visit Poppy Trump? A new court filing in the case of Whole Bunch Of States’ Attorneys General v. Big Balls asserts that no, he is just an adviser giving advice: “Like other senior White House advisors, Mr Musk has no actual or formal authority to make government decisions himself. [...] Mr Musk is not the US DOGE Service Administrator.”

Er, okay, so who is managing these people who are deleting everything then? (And who is paying them?) And if Musk has no power, why does anybody but Poppy Trump have to listen to him or let his flunkies in the building, or let them look at classified information? Why does he keep saying “we” when he twits about DOGE, and why did Trump ask him in that awkward press conference to “mention some of the things your team has found?”

Smells like somebody is playing a culpability shell game until the Supreme Court declares that not even the rules of civil procedure apply to Lord Emperor Trump, and no rules or laws can constrain him. But note to DOGE and its lackeys, even if the Supreme Court rules that (pulverizing any shards of democracy we have left): Trump’s Holy Immunity still wouldn’t apply to anyone else. As long as Poppy Trump says his special boys have permission to do something, fine, but the minute any of them fall out of the sunshine of his love or the sun sets on Trump, it’s a different story.

Musk may have all the money in the world, but his power is on loan. Without the grace of the Lord Emperor, the FAA can ground his rockets for exploding; the EEOC can sue him for creating a work environment where management ignores Black employees being taunted by nooses and women getting groped at work; Tesla shareholders can sue him, and so can victims of his shitty cars, and so can the NLRB for retaliatory-firing employees. Also, the spigot of government subsidies to his companies can get turned off.

If Musk fucks this up (which seems inevitable) and Trump needs a scapegoat (which he will), Musk is right there with lots of assets for the seizing. And Musk doesn’t have many fans outside of his own Xitter feed and 4Chan chatrooms. Loyalty is a one-way street in Trumpistan, and the wheels of the bus go round and round.

Just saying!

[Reuters / TPM]

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