Elon Musk's Secret Campaign Against Progressive Austin Prosecutor Melted Like One Of His Trucks In The Rain

He is bad at everything, even dark-money campaigns.

One of the more entertaining developments of the last couple of decades of American politics — and by entertaining, we mean in the same way we would be entertained by someone repeatedly slamming a car door against our head — is conservatives deciding that investor and philanthropist George Soros is more evil than Josef Stalin, Sauron, Darth Vader, Ursula from The Little Mermaid, Pol Pot, all the dictators of those Central Asian countries spelled with almost all consonants, murder hornets, people who scam the elderly out of their life savings, and anything gay, combined.

All because Soros has chosen to put his vast fortune to work funding liberal philanthropy and causes. He started off giving the state of New York millions of dollars to help poor children, and if there’s anything conservatives hate, it is someone who keeps those filthy street urchins out of the factories where they belong, so they have hated him ever since.

So, no surprise, Elon Musk has decided Soros is evil incarnate, comparing him to Magneto and saying the elderly investor “wants to erode the very fabric of civilization” and “fundamentally hates humanity.” How “I would like to put fewer people in prison and make sure children are provided for” squares with a hatred of humanity is beyond our understanding, probably because we’re not the super-genius who built a truck that melts in the rain.

One cause Soros has taken up in recent years has been criminal justice reform. Specifically, he has worked to get more progressive district attorneys elected in jurisdictions across America, presumably with the hope they will pursue policies that reduce the country’s ridiculous incarceration rate.

One candidate Soros helped in 2020 was José Garza in Travis County in Texas. Travis County contains Austin, probably the most left-leaning jurisdiction in Texas.

So when Garza was running for re-election this year, Musk, who has made Austin his home base the last few years, decided to step in. It seems that Musk is convinced crime is running rampant in Austin, or what he sees of Austin while he and his bodyguards zoom from his house to his office. Also, crime rates have been going down after a brief surge at the height of the pandemic, but why let reality get in the way of your idiocy?

Obviously, Musk does not have the brains that God gave a rutabaga, and any humanity in his soul is so tiny that it cannot be measured with any scientific equipment possessed by man. But he does have a crap-ton of money. So according to a new report in The Wall Street Journal, he secretly spent $650,000 in support of Jeremy Sylestine, a moderate Democrat and former prosecutor who was Garza’s opponent in the primary.

Musk funneled the money through a super PAC called Saving Austin, which then undertook efforts to get Garza out of office. Saving Austin was created by a law firm called The Gober Group, whose founder, Chris Gober, is also the chairman of Musk’s pro-Trump America PAC, which is spending lots and lots of money to put Donald Trump back in office.

One of Saving Austin’s early fliers really got everyone’s attention:

One of the fliers sent to voters in February bore Garza’s photo above an image of a rumpled teddy bear, stained with what appeared to be blood.

“José Garza is filling Austin’s streets with pedophiles & killers,” the flier said. “The next victim could be your loved one.”

On the back of the flier was a photo of a man’s hand covering a child’s mouth.

Subtle! Would you be surprised to learn that the PAC’s three directors all used to work for Ted Cruz? Of course you wouldn’t.

For what it’s worth, Sylestine unequivocally denounced the flier as out of bounds, while the Garza campaign

sent a cease-and-desist letter to Saving Austin, saying that the group should have registered with the Texas Ethics Commission and included a disclaimer on its materials that they constituted political advertising. The letter alleged that Saving Austin “appears to be a sham, dark-money organization created to shield the true identity of those spending money to influence Travis County elections.”

How well did Musk’s and Saving Austin’s efforts work out, you are probably wondering. Well, the Journal reports that some voters said on social media that they were so offended by the flier that it motivated them to go to the polls and vote for Garza. The DA won the primary with 67 percent of the vote and is heavily favored to win the general in November.

So, not well! Which was a fitting result for an election effort undertaken by an idiot and based on his insane hatred of the B-movie villain who exists only in his head and in wingnut mythology, not in reality.

Oh, one final irony: Soros did not fund Garza’s re-election campaign. So he beat Musk without actually spending a dime.

Musk did not respond to the Journal when it asked for comment. We can only assume he was busy staring slack-jawed at Twitter while the static in his head at all times screeches and howls in the void.

[Wall Street Journal]

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