723 Comments
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Daniel Miron's avatar

To be fair, Bongino and Patel, each on their own, could outwit a rutabaga if it were first boiled and mashed.

Karin Crichton's avatar

I LOVE your writing style! Funny stuff.

Maybe's avatar

“It would cause people to say we’re going further than we need to.”

Re Epstein, only trumpsters have ever said that, let alone thought it.

Will's avatar

You forgot to mention the Yeti pubes. Stormy Daniels gifted us with that. Also silk boxers.

Marc's avatar

"The vice president said he thought the president would be OK with releasing the nipple-related documents". Yes, dears, this is real life.

Howlin Wolfe's avatar

“Nuking Tehran” Wait - I thought it was the Iranians who were crazy!

gzost's avatar

"Hopefully those won’t include the president taking out his anger by invading Canada or nuking Tehran."

This timeline is so fucked up by now that either has to be considered a real possibility.

Jen Is Journalisming's avatar

put it all on a searchable website to “overwhelm the MAGAsphere

Surely MAGA will turn on them for this! That they were purposefully looking for ways to gaslight them into "forgetting" about the Epstein files by overwhelming them with information. Right?

RIGHT?

Cue PT Barnum

Jens TINGLEFF's avatar

I wouldn't want to be in Cuba on June 22nd.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

A funny thing about nipples. All of the erotically-related body parts have slang terms used more often than the scientific terms. For most body parts, the scientific terms are clinical and boring. Penis. Breast. Vagina. Buttocks. The slang terms tend to be more salacious.

Not so nipple. It hits you right where you live as is.

Maybe's avatar

Especially since both men and women have them.

Andy Reed's avatar

Also, around June 23, make sure you DON'T BUY Haberman's new book, since once again she has spent years withholding legitimate news from the public through her platform at the NY Times only to cash in by releasing that information long after it has any journalistic value but can bring in millions in voyeuristic value.

DON'T BUY THE BOOK! (Or subscribe to the NY times).

LOU LOU's avatar

I can see Trump as a child discovering he’s turned on giving purple nurples, to his brothers. Trump as we know was messed up as a child.

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

There is something fundamentally wrong with the world if there are "millions of dollars in podcast revenue" anywhere on the planet,

Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

The strangest part of the Epstein story isn't who may or may not be guilty. It's watching people spend years demanding transparency until transparency starts wandering too close to people they admire. That's usually when the search for truth suddenly becomes a search for reasons to stop looking.

otterbird's avatar

Excellent article, except I think you mean Secretariat in the Belmont (pushes glasses up nose).

Nemo's avatar

Donald Frump is so fukt. Every maga woman who has ever nursed a baby is going to freak out over this.

In other news, Iranian government is including a team of psychiatrists and psychologists to aid in their communications with the US government to help them deal with the fact that Donald is severely and dangerously insane.

One document I'd love to read is the briefing book explaining Donald, produced by the Chinese Ministry for State Security. We know that such a document exists. Actually, the Canadian and Danish versions would be pretty interesting.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Epstein summed it all up.

If he thinks he's getting something no one else is getting, he'll give you anything you want.

Jjamie's avatar

Nope about MAGAt women. They don't care if he grabs passes or rapes women and girls. They just don't care. BTW, I am a woman, and while I find the newest revelation disgusting, I find rape much more objectionable. We need to know raped those kids...all of them And they Need. To.be. Strung.up!

Maybe's avatar

Strung up by whatever body part is readily available.

Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

I suspect it would go something like "The best analogy for Donald Trump is a squirrel with a food fetish because both are fucking nuts."

Vic's avatar

Mary Trump did the foundational work here, I take it.

Nemo's avatar

There is no shortage of Cassandras for this disaster. Mary Trump and Bandi X. Lee have provided much insight. Other contributors include Justin Frank, David Cay Johnston and Tony Schwartz. Schwartz, the ghostwriter of "Art of the Deal" provided the technical diagnosis of Bullshitter as carefully defined by Harry Frankfurt.