Time to wake it, shake it and bake it! Monday has arrived!
What happened this weekend? Oh, just according to an AI meme on his shitty web site, the President of the United States of America has declared WAR on Chicago. A place he is president of! Meanwhile, Chicago, a city 21.5 percent populated by people of Mexican descent, has had thousands of protestors on the street. But the neighborhood of Pilsen held its Mexican Independence Day parade on Saturday in spite of the threat, with whistles in case of an ICE sighting. (ABC7)
This is maybe the most psychotic thing Trump has ever posted, and that is saying a LOT.
For our vision-impaired readers, a trim and fit AI version of Trump is squatting (LOL, Trump squatting, as if) in cop shades in a hat with crossed gold swords and a gold-tasseled hat band, a la Lieutenant Colonel Kilgore from the movie “Apocalypse Now,” a character who’s a delusional lunatic that endangers his men by ordering them to surf during bombing raids, and kills civilians with napalm. In Vietnam, during the war Trump draft-dodged with those bone spurs! Meanwhile behind him a fire rages to the sky, and across the river five helicopters fly over the Chicago skyline.
Trump later walked it back and said he meant he was going to clean up the city instead. Like a war on dirt! Uh huh. (NPR)
Speaking of war crimes, save this post for when JD Vance gets tried someday! (Krassencast)
There was also a bigger-than-usual protest against the occupation in DC on Saturday.
And Dear Leader made an appearance at the US Open (also the site of where he assaulted a model in ‘97, allegedly) and broadcasters were instructed to not air any footage of him getting booed. He sure is sensitive! (Bounces)
Guess he got booed anyway.
Oh, and then there’s this stupid:
Not just stupid, aggressively stupid.
And America’s hottest new club just opened at the White House. It has everything: Jackie O’s paved-over Rose Garden, Mar-a-Lago-style patio furniture, a septuagenarian DJ with an iPad blasting Billy Joel’s “She’s Always a Woman,” and iceberg salads with thousand island dressing. And taxpayers are picking up the check! (New York Magazine archive link)
The South Korean government held an emergency meeting over the weekend after 475 Korean nationals were detained and belly-chained and shackled like a bunch of school shooters at a battery plant being built in Georgia. The workers will now be returned to South Korea on a chartered flight. (BBC / NBC)
West Point has cancelled a ceremony to give a citizenship award to Tom Hanks, because he is woke. And the Air Force has cancelled a speech by an alumnus after they discovered he had disparaged Dear Leader online. So sensitive, so fragile! (Variety / Gazette)
The WSJ reports that Robert F. Kennedy Junior is planning to release a report claiming that acetaminophen and folate deficiency cause autism, and that taking a folate derivative can “cure” autism. There is no evidence that any of those things are true. (WSJ gift link)
The DOJ is opposing NBC’s request to to unseal the names of two Jeffrey Epstein associates who got six-figure payments from him in 2018 and were included in his non-prosecution agreement. Trump’s DOJ sure is working hard to protect pedophiles! (NBC)
Epstein corner: “Epstein Made Me Dress Like a Sexy Nurse for Trump: Model” (Daily Beast archive link)
And The New York Times has been investigating how JPMorgan enabled his crimes. It’s hot off the presses, oh boy! (New York Times gift link)
Sean Duffy, Transportation Secretary / (acting) head of NASA / man scared to ride on a subway told NASA employees to not let “safety be the enemy of progress” in a race to beat China to build a nuclear reactor on the moon. Sounds kind of like your job is the enemy of your life, there, NASA! (NBC)
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Bheri, very cute! Your hed gif info link: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/bheris-first-public-appearance
And meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/af593d2d-3295-4806-ad96-72aa5a60f334
I assume that fire behind the unrealistically fit Trump in the offensive meme trolling Chicago with napalm destruction is his equally-toxic flatulence.