European Parliament Elections Verdict: Democracy Still In Charge, Just
European Parliament Elections Verdict: Democracy Still In Charge, Just
It could have been worse, anyway.
Lots of things happened in Europe this weekend, we guess? People ate whatever weird food they eat over there. There were elections for the European Parliament. The French were snotty about something. The Mets and Phillies split two games in London. And also, uh, yeah, there were elections for the European Parliament.
How did the elections go? Do we need to worry about fascism rising on the Continent again? Will Daffy Duck soon be beating up Giorgia Meloni instead of Adolf Hitler? Are the ladies going to have to go four years without being able to buy nylons? Or even some men — we don’t judge!
The New York Times tells us that the “radical right-wing wave dreaded by the political establishment did not fully materialize.” Which is something of a relief. Not quite as good as “the radical right wing was hogtied, put in a sack filled with rocks, and dropped to the bottom of the English Channel,” but not as bad as “We’re looking at four years of coffee shortages, Buy war bonds!”
Let’s try and figure out what the key takeaways are, and whether we all need to start brushing up on our German.
“Ze French May Be, How You Say in English, Fucked.” The big earthquake seems to have been in France, where Marine La Pen’s far-right National Rally scored almost a third of the MEP vote to the Renew party of Emmanuel Macron’s paltry 15 percent. That led Macron to dissolve the French Parliament and call for snap elections in three weeks. (Previously, the next parliamentary elections were scheduled for 2027.)
Three weeks! Imagine if America’s congressional campaigns were all of three weeks long. Members of Congress would have more time to do actual work, since they would spend way less time fundraising and campaigning. Doesn’t that sound much better than the eternal treadmill our political system is on now? Curse God for not making us French.
Sunday’s elections had low turnout. Macron seems to be betting that the voters’ minds will be more focused and interested when they have to vote for a new National Assembly, and that they will be so horrified by the prospect of a far-right government that they will turn out to keep Macron and his not-as-crazy faction in power, denying Le Pen and her band of fanatics any kind of claim that they are suddenly ascendant in French politics.
Of course if Macron loses the bet, his party is out of power, and he’d have to try to figure out how to do some kind of power-sharing government with right-wing lunatics. (It wouldn’t remove Macron from office, as he is president for three more years, not prime minister and, hey, why don’t YOU look it up on Wikipedia?) Moreover, the Summer Olympics, which start three weeks after the election, would take place under the auspices of a suddenly-far-right French government. Ça pourrait être mauvais! Is Jesse Owens going to Paris this summer? Can we raise him from the dead, slap some running cleats on him, and roll him out to the starting blocks?
Anyway, that’s enough about the cheese-eating surrender monkeys. What else happened in these elections?
“The Pro-European Center Holds.” Or so the Associated Press tells us. (And the European right underperformed polls, which is an interesting factoid if you’re looking for trends.) Both the AP and the Times say that the European People’s Party, a center-right coalition, will continue to dominate the EU parliament. This may be at least partly because it has adopted more right-leaning policies so voters won’t go looking for those policies with any of the fascist-adjacent parties like Alternative for Germany {AfD). For now.
Still, AfD did come in second to the mainstream conservative opposition Union bloc in Germany’s elections. German Chancellor Olaf Scholz’s Social Democrats didn’t do as well as they had hoped, so the makeup of German MEPs will shift a bit to the right. Also, Scholz is now weakened as a prime minister.
That’s fine. A still-in-power-but-nonetheless-weakened center-right German government falling to a far-right fascist movement? How bad could that be?
“Greens Crater but Still Matter.” Aw, isn’t that adorable? You can almost hear the Times writers patting the Greens on the head and calling them good boys. Anyway, in Germany the Green Party’s percentage of seats dropped overall, but it will still have enough to have some say in environmental matters. The Europeans in general are still committed to fighting climate change, but environmentally-friendly policies appear to have hurt the MEPs with rural farmers. It’s just like America, only with less English and more yodeling.
So in the race to become more fascist, America actually now has a slight lead over Europe. U-S-A!
[BBC / AP / New York Times]
Wonkette bénéficie du soutien généreux de nos lecteurs.
This scary thing that we made up just to get clicks turns out to have just been made up! Ha ha!
"Cheese-eating surrender monkey", along with the renaming of French fries into freedom fries, was a moniker coined by the jingoistic wing of American politicians and media to discredit the French campaign to warn America that invading Iraq wasn't such a smart move.
It would be nice if Wonkette did not revive pre-MAGA rightwing tropes.
On a related note, per capita more French soldiers and citizens died fighting the Nazis in WW2 than American soldiers and citizens.
For WW1, the ratio of French casualty rate to US casualty rate is over 100 to 1.