405 Comments
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Laura's avatar

This makes all the stories about MTG being the girl who called the cops on all the parties that she wasn't invited to all the more believable.

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motmelere's avatar

MGT doesn't care about friends, policy, or even popularity. I bet she's hit a threshold of grifterbucks where she will gladly retire to yelling at clouds and taking pot shots at paperboys.

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The Horned Tulip God's avatar

She had a few months this year where the pundits were labelling her as the big mover and shaker of the House GOP. My guess is she got drunk on that, and isn't going to want to give up being seen as powerful anytime soon.

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willi0000000's avatar

thank you, brain . . . it read it as:

Higgins, who is like what would happen if Louie Gohmert’s brain cells were startled

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Marla's avatar

Stop right there.

Louis Gohmert doesn’t have brain cellS. He has brain cell—singular.

Everyone knows this. Just ask

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Johnny Appleseed's avatar

MTG is crazy as a bag of hammers.

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Will's avatar

I wonder about the "people" of her district. Think of it, multiple zip codes of people who love what she says and does. Do they all talk like her and wear sleeveless dress? Please Ken Burns make a documentary so I can understand poignant history of her district and its people and why they do that, with mournful narration by Peter Coyote and black and white photography by Walker Evans. Or Diane Arbus. And mournful violins and banjoes. Just don't make me feel guilty about what capitalism and imperialism has done to them. I hate that Critical Hillbilly Theory shit.

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Permanently Confused@68's avatar

Wow. That was good!

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TeacherFrog's avatar

You know how you're a stupid ass who should stop tweeting? You define simple Goddamn words like censure with an immediate (condemn).

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Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Empty Greene was probably never friends with any of them. At one point, maybe, she looked like she was moving up the republican Crazy Caucus™ food chain. But now? Without Kevin holding her hand, everyone is just kicking her to the curb.

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willi0000000's avatar

Empty Green contains absolutely no humanity.

[ and probably tastes worse than the Soylent ]

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Comp-Jen-stator Class's avatar

We hate everybody in this article and we hope their power goes out while they’re cooking something they love.

GAWD I love me some Evan writing XD

Also, the GOP is totally Madison Cawthorning Empty Greene and I am HERE FOR IT

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

Probably most House republicans would be thrilled if Trump picked her to be his VP, because win or lose, she’d be gone from the House.

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willi0000000's avatar

not necessarily . . . she could run for veep and try to keep her House seat.

[ think joe lieberman ]

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

She’s not smart enough to think of that.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

Reminds me of one of my favorite bumper stickers: “Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.”

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

I once got to see the Austin Lounge Lizards live.

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Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

Me too! Well, twice.

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Sherry's avatar

I think we can see how this will play out. Much like Cawthorn Madison played suicide with his congressional career, Hobag Bobert and Margie will be one term and gone. Mace won't be long either. They are all taking a play out of Trumps book a little too late with insults and doing absolutely nothing. People are growing weary of this. VERY.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

Well, both have already been elected to second terms. But Boobert is probably done. She barely squeaked through her last election that was before Gropegate. Mad Marge, though, is in a ridiculously safe district and would need a strong, well-funded primary challenger to knock her out.

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Will's avatar

Ha ha ha. I thought you wrote "knock her up." I mean, you would need to be well-funded to do that, right?

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Sherry's avatar

Hobert will not win the next one but the only difference this time is NOW she’s vowing to work for her district. It’s too late. Took her 3x to to pass the Got-damn GED but she most likely won’t pass this the tied time.

As stated Marge is making enemies hoping she will be VP to a felon I guess.

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GrannysKnitting's avatar

lets do it - for science!

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Homero's avatar

I started to kind of "like" Cawthorn Madison better after some of his lingerie pictures came out revealing a hidden talent. I put "like" in quotes because he is still awful

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MrPug's avatar

I, in fact, did not get that "joke", so thanks for the explainer.

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Gammarae's avatar

Don't badmouth Chip. Hey, gang, let's go listen to trump and see who he's badmouthing today! What a riot!

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan. In Marjorie Traitor Queen's dishonor, I shall proudly wear my Secret Jewish Space Laser Corps - Mazel Tough pin every day. I love Dissent Pins.

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Sister Artemis's avatar

"We hate everybody in this article and we hope their power goes out while they’re cooking something they love"

This my new favorite insult!

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LosFelizGuy's avatar

I hope the power goes out when they’re getting a life-saving blood transfusion.

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Homero's avatar

blood transfusions don't need electricity, just gravity

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Sister Artemis's avatar

Well, you are more ruthless than I.... I think. Depends on how attached they are to their favorite food.🥘🥧🍳

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belfryo's avatar

"“Childish in many ways,” said Troy Nehls, who seemed confused why Greene was calling Roy chicken names. “Does he look like Colonel Sanders?”

I'm surprised no one picked up on this....It right there...Colonel Sanders, George Sanders, George Roy Hill (the director) Roy Sanders, Colonol Roy Sanders

I mean DUH guys...be better!!

(:

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