UPDATE ON CURRENT SPEAKER OF HOUSE: Mike Johnson — the Christian extremist lunatic with the un-Christlike eyes and mouth and resting snake oil salesman face, who thinks Jesus picked him for this job, who has/used to have an app on his phone to alert him if his son was jerkin’ it to porn — is just as hated and distrusted by his own conference as the rumors have been suggesting this week.
Just yesterday we were talking about how Johnson’s own GOP colleagues are extremely confused WTF dude is even trying to do with Ukraine funding, what he even wants, and looking back longingly on the time when excellent smart speaker Kevin McCarthy was running things.
But it’s not just that. It’s way more. This weak-ass dude God chose (as a joke) can’t accomplish anything. It’s like God decided to do a show-and-tell on why conservative white guys are not necessary for anything, anywhere.
Let’s hand it to Jake Sherman from Punchbowl, who’s been a tweet machine on this today.
“We’re in a bad spot, and that’s the understatement of the century,” a Republican leadership person told him.
“In all the time i've been covering congress and written about the Republican leadership, i've never had more people come to me in the leadership and say that we were spot on in what we've written”
(They have been writing about everybody hates Mike Johnson.)
“Patience is running very thin with Johnson, has been the overwhelming message i've gotten.”
If God chose that dude, it’s because he wanted somebody to give swirlies to and steal their lunch money.
Sherman laid out the list of Johnson’s failures in an amazing big huge tweet we’ll quote liberally, or entirely:
THE DISASTER THAT IS HOUSE REPUBLICAN LEADERSHIP
Just this week, @SpeakerJohnson has:
→ Seen Democrats win a special election in New York, narrowing the already minuscule GOP majority to two votes.
→ Lost a sixth rule vote on the House floor — a measure that would’ve allowed an increase in the state-and-local tax (SALT) deduction — when 18 Republicans bucked their own leadership and voted no. This Republican majority has lost more rule votes than any other majority in five decades, a stunning sign of weakness.
→ Abruptly pulled a bill to overhaul FISA due to Republican infighting. The GOP leadership said the House would vote on the bill before locking down the votes, despite some senior Republicans raising internal objections. This is the second time Johnson had to pull a FISA bill this Congress.
→ Seen another committee chair announce his resignation. @RepMarkGreen, chair of the Homeland Security Committee, is leaving Congress after only six years. The 59-year-old Green — the fourth committee chair to retire — just led the impeachment of DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas.
→ Decided against putting a bill on the floor to provide billions of dollars in new aid to Israel without offsets. Just a week ago, Johnson allowed a vote on Israel aid that he knew was going to fail.
→ Provided absolutely no insight to rank-and-file lawmakers on how he’ll handle the Senate’s bipartisan $95 billion foreign aid package. Johnson said the bill isn’t a priority because the federal government is scheduled to shut down in a few weeks.
→ Witnessed the House Intelligence Committee chair issue a dire public warning about a “serious national security threat” to the country, only to have Senate Intelligence Committee leaders and the White House downplay the issue.
Wow wow wow. Thanks, Jake Sherman!
In a followup, he pointed out that the House is leaving (left) town at 2:30 this afternoon, because why fix shit when you can just not fix shit? And the fuckups will just continue when they get back.
Oh well, we guess if he’s sad he can just go lock himself in the bathroom and masturbate with his tears OH NO JUST KIDDING his son might get an alert on his Jesus phone if he did that.
This is happening because it’s God’s plan.
OPEN THREAD.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
If you're shopping on Amazon anyway, this portal gives us a small commission.
I sat in some subway ceiling drippings and it got the back of my leg wet and it made my leg itch and burn(ok after I cleaned it.) Now I am going to become a C.H.U.D. aren't I?
(also want to see who gets that reference)
I wonder if Harry thinks he has mind control over pigeons. He will stare like this and not make a sound or move if there’s a bird on the balcony railing.
https://substack.com/@ziggywiggy/note/c-49659724?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=2knfuc