Oh, Judy. It's about 4 days on and I am still speechless and totally broken by the loss of Gav.
I don't *feel* like I have a right to be - I can only imagine what it feels like for you, let alone the rest of our crazy bunch.
I have achieved basically nothing in life, but I have an incredible cast of friends. Hands down, Gav was the most brilliant person I have ever known, and the highest quality human.
Heartbroken for your loss. I'm back at Wonkette after a number of years of being gone from the site for various reasons; however, Fukui was the one non commenter I remember the very most....for his razor-sharp wit, and his amazing generosity in all kinds of ways. I often fantasized about jumping on a last-minute flight from Florida to San Fran to pop in at a meet up and hoped to meet him in person. He really was legendary. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. As a hospice RN, I can offer that any hospice organization near you will have support groups and/or individual grief counseling that is open to the public. He need not have been in hospice for you to take advantage of that if you think it would be helpful. I know you'll always have the love and support of your family here at Wonkette. Just made a contribution in his name to the cats organization. Be well and please reach out if there's anything I can do.
I'm so sorry for your loss... and our loss. I only knew him from here (where he was one of my favorite fellow Wonkers), but I knew enough to see and value his sincerity, kindness, curiosity, and ferocious intelligence. I really will miss him.
Judy, I've been in a stunned daze since hearing of Gav's passing. I can't imagine your loss. I was fortunate to know Gav in person first through a few Wonkette events in SF then through the Third Friday Wonkette meetings at the Embarcadero Hyatt. I'd not seen him there in a few months, and his absences - always deflating - had begun to vex me. We had our most recent meet-up there just last Friday, with three of us present and no Gav, and I thought: "I need to write him." No one should ever put a thought like that on hold. Inexcusably, I did not write him then, and then came the news.
I treasured my time with Gav, both in person and here in the Wonkette comments. We laughed a LOT, but those of us around him also learned a LOT. Few if any people I've known have had such a huge personality combined with such enormous generosity, which extended in all directions. On maybe the second time I met him, he picked up the tab for an entire Wonkmeet dinner, and I know of his great generosity and attentiveness to many here and elsewhere who were in the dumps financially or emotionally. or just needed someone to see their troubles. He absolutely beamed when talking about his work with Black Girls Code and his visits with his niece and the many other ways he gave - all out of a sense of doing the right thing without a hint of seeking reward or recompense. Reading your account of his organ donation, I thought: Damn - not even death cheats him from continuing to give.
I'll miss him terribly. I also know that his having given so freely of himself, these great and lasting gifts, will keep running through all of us he touched - a kind of eternal life in which I can surely believe. Wishing you great peace in the times ahead, and thank you for sharing these links to things above that would make Gav happy.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Gav was someone whose contributions here were ones I always looked forward to. I never had the privilege of meeting him in person, but here he always came across as a wonderful man. He'll be greatly missed.
My condolences to you and your family. Gav's passing is a huge loss to this community, even though most of us never had the opportunity of meeting him in real life. He was passionate about life and those around him. He is greatly missed.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Gav was an absolute diamond and a hero to me. Robyn is going to be devastated when she hears that he has passed, she was hoping to cook a meal for you both one day to thank Gav for all the F1 memorabilia he has sent her way over the past few years. She thought of him as an adopted uncle.
Oh gosh thanks for responding. Gav has something he got for Robyn just the other day. Please email me with your contact details so I can forward it yikesahootie@gmail.com
Thank you so much for sharing this, Judy. My heart goes out to you and your family. Gav was such a treasure, and our lives were made better with him in it. His memory will always be a blessing.
Deepest condolences on your loss and thank you for being so strong for Gav in his final days and hours. Sharing that final journey will help bring some peace to so many here who are grieving along with you. Peace and love to you and all the family, hugs to his niece he spoke so proudly about.
He brought joy to this community and we loved him well. He will never be forgotten.
I only knew him as Fukui on here, I never made it to one of the WonkMeets in San Fran but I sure wanted to. He was so ascerbic and witty and I enjoyed any time he even liked or replied to one of my non-comments...made my day...he was one of a kind and I am so incredibly sorry for your loss and the loss of such a wonderful bright light in this dark world. Thank you for sharing him with us.
That's how it felt when he commented or liked. It was like a little anointing, like maybe some of his vivre might rub off a little. Like you were special.
Until about a year ago, I was one of the Bay Area Wonkers. I rarely made it to the third-Friday-of-the-month drinks at the Hyatt, but always enjoyed spending time with Gav when I did.
Like most of us here, I knew him first as Fukui: a smart, funny, biting, sincere commenter. I finally met him in person as Gav, at the we-survived-2020-and-we're-vaccinated dinner in the summer of 2021. (I was lucky enough to meet several other Bay Area Wonkers there too.) It was a wonderful evening, with new friends, good food, and great conversation.
Gav was a larger-than-life presence here, and his passing will leave a commensurately larger-than-life hole.
Thank you for sharing so many ways for us to honor him.
Peace and strength, to you, his family, and to all who loved him.
Hey, it’s Fukui’s wife. I’ve taken a breath now, and I am happy to answer questions or just talk about our beautiful boy.
If you want to remember him, this is what would make him happy:
Black Girls Code
https://donorbox.org/blackgirlscode
By mail. Write a check payable to Black Girls Code and send it to Black Girls Code, P.O. Box 845949, Los Angeles, CA 90084-5949
The hospital that made him comfortable in his last few days (they really were rockstars)
https://www.johnmuirhealth.com/secure/donate-to-john-muir-health-foundation.html
Maui Humane Society
https://www.mauihumanesociety.org/
The Trevor Project
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
In the UK, where his folks are:
Bearsted Woodland Trust
https://www.bearstedwoodlandtrust.org/sites/bearstedwoodlandtrust.org/files/BWT_Donations%20form_GiftAid_2021.pdf
Cats Protection League
https://www.cats.org.uk/donate
Please mention him in your gift: Gav Ashdown
Oh, Judy. It's about 4 days on and I am still speechless and totally broken by the loss of Gav.
I don't *feel* like I have a right to be - I can only imagine what it feels like for you, let alone the rest of our crazy bunch.
I have achieved basically nothing in life, but I have an incredible cast of friends. Hands down, Gav was the most brilliant person I have ever known, and the highest quality human.
So much love to you, hoping you see this.
Heartbroken for your loss. I'm back at Wonkette after a number of years of being gone from the site for various reasons; however, Fukui was the one non commenter I remember the very most....for his razor-sharp wit, and his amazing generosity in all kinds of ways. I often fantasized about jumping on a last-minute flight from Florida to San Fran to pop in at a meet up and hoped to meet him in person. He really was legendary. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. As a hospice RN, I can offer that any hospice organization near you will have support groups and/or individual grief counseling that is open to the public. He need not have been in hospice for you to take advantage of that if you think it would be helpful. I know you'll always have the love and support of your family here at Wonkette. Just made a contribution in his name to the cats organization. Be well and please reach out if there's anything I can do.
I'm so sorry for your loss... and our loss. I only knew him from here (where he was one of my favorite fellow Wonkers), but I knew enough to see and value his sincerity, kindness, curiosity, and ferocious intelligence. I really will miss him.
So sorry for your loss. He was a force and very beloved within our little snark mob.
Judy, I've been in a stunned daze since hearing of Gav's passing. I can't imagine your loss. I was fortunate to know Gav in person first through a few Wonkette events in SF then through the Third Friday Wonkette meetings at the Embarcadero Hyatt. I'd not seen him there in a few months, and his absences - always deflating - had begun to vex me. We had our most recent meet-up there just last Friday, with three of us present and no Gav, and I thought: "I need to write him." No one should ever put a thought like that on hold. Inexcusably, I did not write him then, and then came the news.
I treasured my time with Gav, both in person and here in the Wonkette comments. We laughed a LOT, but those of us around him also learned a LOT. Few if any people I've known have had such a huge personality combined with such enormous generosity, which extended in all directions. On maybe the second time I met him, he picked up the tab for an entire Wonkmeet dinner, and I know of his great generosity and attentiveness to many here and elsewhere who were in the dumps financially or emotionally. or just needed someone to see their troubles. He absolutely beamed when talking about his work with Black Girls Code and his visits with his niece and the many other ways he gave - all out of a sense of doing the right thing without a hint of seeking reward or recompense. Reading your account of his organ donation, I thought: Damn - not even death cheats him from continuing to give.
I'll miss him terribly. I also know that his having given so freely of himself, these great and lasting gifts, will keep running through all of us he touched - a kind of eternal life in which I can surely believe. Wishing you great peace in the times ahead, and thank you for sharing these links to things above that would make Gav happy.
I'm sorry for your loss. I always got the feeling that all he was trying to do was to connect with people and he managed that.
He will be missed.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Gav was someone whose contributions here were ones I always looked forward to. I never had the privilege of meeting him in person, but here he always came across as a wonderful man. He'll be greatly missed.
My condolences to you and your family. Gav's passing is a huge loss to this community, even though most of us never had the opportunity of meeting him in real life. He was passionate about life and those around him. He is greatly missed.
https://youtu.be/uAzwji5Cfmk?si=lPbo_vOflYmk3wZh
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life (Full Song) TCM
Fukui San.
Yes, Ota?
Stay golden.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Gav was an absolute diamond and a hero to me. Robyn is going to be devastated when she hears that he has passed, she was hoping to cook a meal for you both one day to thank Gav for all the F1 memorabilia he has sent her way over the past few years. She thought of him as an adopted uncle.
Oh gosh thanks for responding. Gav has something he got for Robyn just the other day. Please email me with your contact details so I can forward it yikesahootie@gmail.com
Thank you so much for sharing this, Judy. My heart goes out to you and your family. Gav was such a treasure, and our lives were made better with him in it. His memory will always be a blessing.
My deepest condolences to you and your family. I'm glad I was fortunate enough to meet him in person and share a drink or three.
Thank you so much for this information. Still in shock, we all are, so can only imagine how you feel.
PS Named my first heart dog Judy, after a best friend 💕💕💕. Hang in there.
Deepest condolences on your loss and thank you for being so strong for Gav in his final days and hours. Sharing that final journey will help bring some peace to so many here who are grieving along with you. Peace and love to you and all the family, hugs to his niece he spoke so proudly about.
He brought joy to this community and we loved him well. He will never be forgotten.
I only knew him as Fukui on here, I never made it to one of the WonkMeets in San Fran but I sure wanted to. He was so ascerbic and witty and I enjoyed any time he even liked or replied to one of my non-comments...made my day...he was one of a kind and I am so incredibly sorry for your loss and the loss of such a wonderful bright light in this dark world. Thank you for sharing him with us.
Me as well. I'm going to miss him a lot.
That's how it felt when he commented or liked. It was like a little anointing, like maybe some of his vivre might rub off a little. Like you were special.
Exactly.
Judy,
We grieve with you. 💔🫂
Until about a year ago, I was one of the Bay Area Wonkers. I rarely made it to the third-Friday-of-the-month drinks at the Hyatt, but always enjoyed spending time with Gav when I did.
Like most of us here, I knew him first as Fukui: a smart, funny, biting, sincere commenter. I finally met him in person as Gav, at the we-survived-2020-and-we're-vaccinated dinner in the summer of 2021. (I was lucky enough to meet several other Bay Area Wonkers there too.) It was a wonderful evening, with new friends, good food, and great conversation.
Gav was a larger-than-life presence here, and his passing will leave a commensurately larger-than-life hole.
Thank you for sharing so many ways for us to honor him.
Peace and strength, to you, his family, and to all who loved him.
Thank you for sharing him with us. So much love to you and your family.
https://youtu.be/i47LeHY2Z2Q?si=DIL-6ujipI2yuINK
Take a deep breath -
Feel like your chokin'
Everything's Broken
https://youtu.be/pndhO5DcSI0?si=72LHFjfzAaXMZowW
GMTA. At least partially.