218 Comments
User's avatar
Relativicus's avatar

“Did I say ‘TWO point five million’? I meant THREE point five! I’m such a silly-head!”

As for this:

“But also because Calk now finds himself indicted for taking bribes, and the US gubmint would like all his money now please as a substitute forfeiture asset.”

At least now we may finally see some legislative reform regarding asset forfeiture.

Expand full comment
Opiwan's avatar

that -10 penalty to INT/WIS for taking the "lucky as hell" benefit, tho...

Expand full comment
ObscurePopCultureReference's avatar

That's fine. We're clearly not using it.

Expand full comment
Edgar Allen Shmoe's avatar

God, this guy even looks stupid.

Expand full comment
Dr.  Hooker P. Tape's avatar

I prefer not to pay back my loans too, m'kay?

Expand full comment
Dr.  Hooker P. Tape's avatar

None of those frenchy croissants either!

Expand full comment
Dudleydidwrong's avatar

Unsecured and unsecurable multi-million loan = quid pro quo = ambassadorship to Great Britain or Secretary of the Army.

I must have slept through that day in Econ 101 when the prof went over that. Damn!

Expand full comment
Sojourner Beautiful Mind Box's avatar

Love the name and picture!

Expand full comment
LeighBowery'sLuxuryComedy's avatar

But he grew up in London! He are qualified!

Expand full comment
phoenix00's avatar

What's a little pay-to-play corruption between friends?

Expand full comment
phoenix00's avatar

Does he have achomlishments?

Expand full comment
Zyxomma's avatar

Yes, never works for me.

Expand full comment
Boojum's avatar

Ambassador to GITMO.

Expand full comment
Michael Schmitt's avatar

Calk is also accused of shenanigans that he played with the City of Chicago's former Mayor, Rahm Emanuel. Calk's bank, Federal Savings Bank received millions of taxpayer funds in a tricky scheme to hire Chicago residents who were to receive training in bank procedures. Turns out that many of these employees already worked at another institution owned by Calk, which was being shut down at the time. So far no legal action has been directed at Calk over these allegations of wrongdoing. See:https://www.americanbanker....

Expand full comment
Dragon with the girl tattoo's avatar

Perspective rolls, that`s what you do in D&D to see if there`s traps and stuff right?

Expand full comment
gffish's avatar

Stephen Calk obviously is stupid, since he listed what rolls he wanted. I would have asked for jelly rolls or Hawaiian rolls myself. Since I live in a house, the role that I would have asked for would be Secretary of HUD. At least I know the difference between an Oreo and an REO.

Expand full comment