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Also, too, let's just snarkily comment about if that picture provided by Real Man Dad to That Park Place is really that family, those were teenagers --or very close to-- that Real Woman Mom thought could not withstand the damage of overhearing "tall" and "deep voice".

This entire family is more snowflakey than Elsa.

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Apr 30Liked by Crip Dyke

I thank you from the bottom of my Mom of Non-binary/Trans Femme kid's heart (I just love the "femme" some folks use, it is so vrai French!) and just hope Lucy Lawless, aka, Xena the Warrior, challenges this fucker to combat. Even I have no doubt I could, and would thoroughly enjoy, kicking his weak, limp, flabby Dad ass.

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And while Lucy is at it, let her challenge Kevin Sorbo and humiliate him by kicking his ass. (A man shouldn't be humiliated for being beaten by a woman in anything, but Sorbo and his weird-ass buddies would surely see it as--to use a word they love--"emasculating".)

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Excellent piece, as always. Couple Thoughts on RMD’s story: -The average ‘merican male is 5’-9” and the only folks I know that say they are ‘average’ height are shorter than that. I’d bet the cost of cheeseburger at Disneyland Real Man Dad© here is 5’-7 1/2” or under.

- I read the Real Women Mom’s directive to move away from the table as being pissed that RMD was ruining her good time, probably again. “Why does he always get so worked up about tall, deep voiced Queens with great makeup?”

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Good catch CD. If it was a snake it would've bit me! If anything it was the kids idea to have their faces pixelated out. If you're a teenager and not embarrassed by your parents, especially parents like this, you're doing teenager wrong

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Apr 29Liked by Crip Dyke

They want trans people to disappear out of their view and the view of their kids. They also think they are entitled to that. That is fucked up many kinds of ways. The words "civil rights" in their book apparently only apply to White cis-het Christian families like theirs.

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So, now anyone appearing in drag is trans? WTF is wrong with these people

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trans people are just the latest marginalized group being put through the wringer by the crowd whose Bibles are missing the bits abouts motes and splinters.

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It also only works because most of their shitty, shitty fascist constituents believe they've never met a trans person so they are a nice little black box to project whatever horrible dark fantasies these people have. Trans people are also smaller in number so it's easier to gang up on them as there's fewer people to stick up for them (especially in unreconstructed locales).

Once they eliminate all the trans people, they will just move to the next more numerous minority.

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we've seen the same respectability politics spiel during the height of the histrionics surrounding gay marriage and we're seeing it every time an unarmed PoC gets murdered by police.

pulpit hucksters like a lot of those mammon worshiping Evangelicals weaponize all of the above.

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100% Amen!

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“The tone policing of respectability ensures that the fight for equality becomes the responsibility of the oppressed.”

— Mikki Kendall

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If thine eye offendeth thee, pluck it out. Right there in black and white.

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Apr 29Liked by Crip Dyke

A bible banger told me that once. I told him my penis offended me.

/trans

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I would have said HIS penis offended me.

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*chefs kiss* perfect ❤️

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I....i....i.....have no words. This is awesome!!!!!

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*mic drop*

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[kneels and bows head in overwhelmed respect and regard]

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+1 Internet to you!

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You’re officially my fucking hero for the day. That was *amazing.*

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author

I've got one word for you White, bigoted Christians who can't stand civil rights:

Heart of Atlanta versus the United States.

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Apr 30Liked by Crip Dyke

While I whole-heartedly agree, I just had to put discussion quetions together for 303 Creative and between that and the caveats Gorsuch put in Bostick about not firing people "only" because of their failure to conform to gender stereotypes (i.e. no mention of whether you can fire someone if Jeebus said to do it) I have a bad feeling about the future viability of Heart of Atlanta in trying to make the bigots keep their bigotry under wraps in public.

(I'm also deeply concerned about Obergefell, since it is rooted in Planned Parenthood v Casey's conception of privacy and Dobbs resurrected the kind of bullshit test at issue in Bowers, and frankly anything decent that came out of the Warren Court era, but I'm a pessimist by nature).

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Apr 29Liked by Crip Dyke

Oh, come now, ma'am. We've done quite a bit of heavy lifting of late heah in the Peach State. Next on our to-do list is re-electing President Biden and ejecting MTG from the House. She's not our Congresscritter, but we've already donated more than once to her likely Democratic challenger.

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YAY--and thank you!

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I find it fascinating that a family would spend this much money to complain all day.

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founding

an expensive priviledge not open to us commoners

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It's the happiest place on earth!

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I'm starting to wonder of rage-cation is going to be the next conservative thing. Sure a couple of photos of the Caribbean sun setting over a white sand beach will look great in the Facebook, but imagine adding a family values murdering encounter with some treacherous form of godless liberal to your story. Now that's a vacation that will make the ladies in bible study truly jealous!

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founding

“And the portions are too small!”

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"and the drinks aren't strong enough"

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founding

My family did it for free

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Follow your passion.

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If you want to see funny, intelligent, well-informed critiques of what the Disney theme park experience is really like, check out some back posts by Chris Thompson at Defector. This one is a good place to start (you get a couple for free before the paywall):

https://defector.com/a-disney-world-perverts-take-on-the-existential-war-of-investor-aggression

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Apr 29·edited Apr 29Liked by Crip Dyke

My family found out the hard way that the teen years are the wrong time to take your kids to Disney for the first time. (To be fair, we didn’t have the income to do so a decade before.) There’s a photo somewhere in the Carstonio archives of sullen-looking teens wearing hard rock T-shirts in front of the castle.

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Then it's waaaaayyyy too late for me. But I knew that. :D

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There's a sweet spot between 6 and 13 where they get maximum enjoyment, when it's geared towards their age but they're old enough to remember it later.

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In fairness, the teen years are the wrong time to take your kids to anywhere.

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author

My parents took me to Disneyland twice, and my grandparents once. The first 2 I was under 10. The last I was 17 and it was a spur-of-the-moment thing. We had a foreign exchange student living with us. So it was my mom, step-dad, me, FEXS, little sister, and one friend of little sister (not her best friend, but a good enough friend who was available at the last minute).

I don't know why they decided to do it, but I had a great time b/c it was the first time when I didn't have to hang out with the olds and let them decide where we're going. There were 3 pairs of people more or less well matched who all took off for different ends of the park, then met up for dinner.

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Apr 29Liked by Crip Dyke

Let's just be honest about what happened here. Clearly Real Man Dad hit upon the evil Queen, and decided she must be trans after she rejected his offer of a quickie in the broom closet.

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Or, Dad had an experience on The Wild Side, and liked it sooo much, he had to retaliate!

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Thought the same thing, a familiar note rang in this moron's head and all the fear and shame came rushing out.

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doop da doop da doop doop doop da doop

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And the colored girls sing...

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Apr 29·edited Apr 29Liked by Crip Dyke

Next time they're going by a taping of Rupaul's "Drag Races" to watch the cars burn up the track at high speeds.

It's a much more Christian thing to do.

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If anyone remembers the Evil Queen, or indeed many female actors from the era in which the film Snow White was produced, they would recall that many women adopted a husky, deeper voice as it was considered sexy at the time. Many women smoked then, as well, which contributed to the trend. So the portrayer of Queen (what she has been called in Disney Parks as far back as I can remember and I'm in my 50s) may well have adopted a huskier voice to imitate the original actress' voice.

Of course, if the portrayer was a man I'm just as happy with that. Who cares? Besides, it would likely be a good fit both figuratively and literally, since the Evil Queen had a rather tall, thin figure. She wore a costume that purposely emphasized her height with the artificially narrowed, thus taller-looking column of purple dress flanked by the black sides of her cape. I mean, she was supposed to be scary! And the taller she was, the more she towered over a young Snow White!

Who has long been called "Snow" in the parks, if I recall correctly.

A man might have an advantage in the husky voice arena as well.

I'm sure RMD can't wrap his single brain cell around the fact that fads change, and many women at one time spoke in deeper voices that men found appealing. I doubt it, since he's so brainwashed that nothing outside his narrow, bigoted views computes. Maybe his wife keeps a little balloon of helium in her purse so she can take a hit before speaking to him, just so he's sure she's not a transwoman...

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Yes. We definitely need the word "transvestigation." Aside from its standalone magnificence, how else will high-schools figure out which student has what kind of fuck-apparatus?

It's the not knowing.

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Yes. We definitely need the word "transvestigation." Aside from its standalone magnificence, how else will high-schools figure out which student has what kind of fuck-apparatus?

It's the not knowing.

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Late to the party on this excellent story, but I can't help calling for a correction to a point of theater history. Peter Pan was first played (yes, by a young woman actor) on the London stage in 1904 and in New York in 1905 (again with a woman playing the lead).

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Crip, that was outa the park. Loved it!! Thanks.

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Wow, just wow. People spend $8K to go to FUCKING DISNEYLAND?

I went once on my Uncle's dime in the early 70's and the only two things that stood out was a hologram of a ghost (impressive but only 18" tall) and the fact that I smelled someone taking a hit - both of those moments were on the Haunted House ride, the rest of which was meh.

The rest of the day was cheesy rides and corporate sponsored rubbish - "Monsanto's World of the Atom" stands out. Although a quick google states that it was Inner Space, so maybe I got a contact high.

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Don't leave out adorable gymnast Cathy Rigby's post-Olympic career as Peter Pan.

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Transgender individuals make up about 1% of the US population. Only cowardly, pants shooting conservatives could constantly be griping and moaning about something that represents all of one percent of our population. Shut the fuck up and treat people with respect. It's not that fucking hard you fucking theist sacks of shit

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If he's looking for a pervert, he doesn't need to look under her dress, he can just consult the Mirror. It's on the wall.

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why the hell does it matter? Seriously, why does it matter? Why do you need to know, for sure, the genitals of someone you are NEVER having sex with? Seriously, why does it matter? SHOW US on the doll where the deep voice hurt you.

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Heaven forfend that dude ever found out that men portrayed women on stage for oh, pretty much the entire history of acting up to the twentieth century

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Thanks for posting the Bugs cartoon. That guy cross-dressed more than Flip Wilson (outed myself as OLD).

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$8000 to visit DisneyLand? There goes the children's college plans.

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The Tinkerbell that flies over the park also used to be played by a man (Until cameras got good enough to see facial hair and the like).

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"no really, she is a woman"

"I R Being Gaslighted!!!!"

Fucking moran

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