298 Comments
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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I will go to my grave not understanding why people would imbue in Donald Trump the authority to determine if that person had any self-worth.

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Regret's avatar

Terrified primates want a leader to take care of things.

Chimps see the loudest chimp as the leader. I don't expect humans to be too different.

This doesn't really work when hierarchy is the source of the problem.

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Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

It's because trump supporters have so little self-worth.

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Revenant's avatar

So will Weaselberg be getting conjugal visits from Donnie? Inquiring minds, you know.

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Sgt JMK's avatar

More likely the Yammering Yam will pull the "Allen who? I think he brought me coffee once" gambit.

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Revenant's avatar

No wonder he inspires such doglike loyalty.

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Sgt JMK's avatar

It literally baffles me... like... I think of how loyal Weaselberg is and I make the same face that Jackie Chan makes in the meme.

Drumpf must have video of Weaselberg burying Jimmy Hoffa or something. Seriously.

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DemoCat's avatar

Trumpy and the Sleaze…

Tale as old as crime.

True as make-believe.

Barely even friends

Then somebody bends

Laws so foolishly

Just a little change (on tax returns)

Small to say the least

Both a little scared

Neither one prepared

For accountability.

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Marcie. All of this is unsurprising.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

I will never understand the hold Trump has on these people. He wouldn’t piss on Weaselberg if he were on fire! How does he manage to keep people loyal?

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DemoCat's avatar

Love freely given isn’t worth as much as love withheld. Trump is the rock they break themselves against. They just can’t quit him.

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GoofyMcDork's avatar

Why do women stay with those who abuse them? There are hundreds of books explaining the phenomenon sadly. The entire US has been gaslighted into a very toxic relationship with this really bad boyfriend.

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Billy Bob's avatar

Maybe he just didn’t want to end up at the bottom of the stairs like Ivanka

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ivana is the dead wife. Ivanka is the dead eyed daughter.

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Bitter Scribe's avatar

This is almost like Smithers adoring Mr. Burns. There's a certain point at which it gets creepy.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

This isn’t creepy. It’s just sad.

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TalentNotAutotune's avatar

Well.....bye.

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Uncle Milburn's avatar

As a liver-spotted American, I am disappointed that as Wonkette author would use someone's physical attribute, that they have no control over, to denigrate them.

I thought we were better than that.

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Chuck Dickens's avatar

Accurate descriptors are denigrating?

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goCatgo's avatar

No, I don't think we are. As a poli sci prof once said "Shit rolls downhill."

So it starts at the top.

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Enter Ranting's avatar

It's not the first time PAB has been spanked by Forbes.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

He usually pays for it.

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Darrell Leland's avatar

Pretty pathetic, actually. One of the problems with being imaginative is that I CAN picture what it would be like to spend every single minute of the day trying to please donny trump. It's like the toadying New Gods from DC Comics trying to please Darkseid, but much much ickier.

Ewwwwwwww...

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Bagels of Doom's avatar

Guilty II: Guiltier

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Nemo's avatar

Now Forbes should do the expose “Donald Trump Has Been Lying About The Size Of His Penis.”

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Darrell Leland's avatar

That was obviously the intent of the title. It would have been better if it read DONALD TRUMP HAS BEEIN LYING ABOUT THE SIZE OF HIS PEN... THOUSE.

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Tecolote's avatar

If reporter Dan Alexander hadn't sussed him out, AW would have gotten away with perjury. Those NY investigators who missed finding this whopping story should be fired.

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

" all the best people "

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Trux Mint In Box's avatar

Poor Donald keeps getting surrounded by all these criminals.

Mandatory Onion headline

“Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?”

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