Exactly How Many Jobs Can Sarah Palin Quit? Wonkagenda, Thursday, December 1, 2016

We're going with eleven-teen!

Morning Wonkers! Here's some of the stories we might, possibly, maybe be talking about today!

•  President Obama's last two months in office will be an ambitious attempt to protect public land, help the olds, screw Wall Street, strengthen workplace safety regulations, and cement energy savings initiatives, because he's still got some change left in his pocket.

•  Nancy Pelosi is embracing a decentralized power initiative in the DCCC pushed by progressives, which is probably a good thing, since it would be nice for Democrats to win more state and local elections.

•  Donald Trump is considering Sarah Palin for Secretary of Veterans Affairs, demonstrating her versatility: you name the administrative position, and she'll prove she's uniquely unqualified to hold it.

•  Donald Trump was SUPPOSED to stay in Chicago this weekend while on hisvictory "thank you"tour, possibly so he could stop all the crimes within a week, but the Chicago Police Department abruptly announced that it wasn't preparing for his visit hours after it was announced. Chicagoans will have to deal with our racist bag ladies, crooked cops, politicians and gang violence ourselves.

• After a phone call with with Pakistani Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif, Donald Trump thinks the prime minister is a "terrific guy" and he's ready to "play any role" to help Pakistan solve its problems, like the corruption surrounding the prime minister, conflicts over Kashmir, the harboring of terrorists and the venomous relationship with India. Wow, he sure knows his foreign policy!

• You ever wonder what it's like to read Twitter the way Donald Trump does? A reporter at the Intercept made a list of the 40 things Trump follows on Twitter, and it's the weirdest shit you'll see all morning.

• GOOD NEWS for broke students (for now)! The federal government may forgive $108 billion in student debt as people seek help in the form of payment plans based on income. The down side: Higher education costs still continue to rise faster than the rate of inflation, leading to more and more debt.

• In response to Trump's brilliant plan to "save" a whopping 1,000 manufacturing jobs in Indiana (out of 13,000 that have been outsourced), a very mean article in a Chinese state-owned newspaper laughed and said it will be impossible for the U.S. to bring back all its old manufacturing jobs seeing as how we've already given them all to China, Mexico, and a bunch of robots who can do the same job for fewer Ameros.

•  Pretty soon Trump will have the ability to send unblockable text alerts, like Amber Alerts, or Emergency Alerts, which could come in handy the next time you need to avoid his motorcade when it barrels down the road spewing Cheeto dust and grabbing lady parts.

• After Levi Strauss & Co. nicely asked its people not to carry guns, a bunch of anti-Semitic racists were triggered and are boycotting "Jew jeans". We don't know if Oshkosh B'gosh makes clothes for man-babies. Also, we miss Gilda Radner more than ever.

• And here's your morning nice time! Baby Pygmy rabbits! They're fun sized and fluffy!