Excessively Farting Passenger Reportedly Causes American Airlines Flight to Turn Around! Tabs, Thurs., Jan. 25, 2024
Morning news roundup!
The fictional character “Bill Ackman.” (Kurt Andersen at The Atlantic)
Doing a jigsaw puzzle in solidarity with this DeSantis superPAC guy who’s tuning out this election along with everyone else. — Vanity Fair
Arizona Republican chairman Jeff DeWit peaces out after Kari Lake records him sniffing a whole bunch while offering to buy her off to step out of politics just for a couple years, on behalf of unnamed “Back East” people (Jews I guess). His statement: Twitter. The audio does just go on and on!
The White House has a pharmacy. Under Rear Admiral Feelgood, it was a feelmess. (The DOD IG report on the topic does not mention the good rear admiral, currently a congressman of Texas.) (Stat)
Edith Jones writes for the Fifth Circuit that the citizen journalist “La Gordiloca” should go fuck herself, and no she may not sue city of Laredo just for arresting her for doing journalism. Jones writes that the law allowing cops to arrest someone for disseminating nonpublic information is not facially unconstitutional, even though it is facially unconstitutional. — Order
Utah’s trans bathroom ban bill would impose six-month jail sentences for criminal peeing. (Erin in the Morning)
BRB, this prison shower floor isn’t going to lie on itself. — Abortion, Every Day
The upstate New York man who shot the teenage girl turning around in his driveway — that one week, when we were all shooting every person who came to our house — has been found guilty. He claims it sure was an accident, him shooting and killing that girl, he “stumbled” and the gun just plumb went off. (CNN)
Our friends at Penzeys are taking up Ron DeSantis’s “Florida: Where woke goes to die” challenge. They’re looking for shiny new colleagues for their shiny new Orlando store. Hit them up!
Everybody always loves to hate the “How I live in New York on one MILLION dollars” stories, and this one, about a couple and their $25,000 monthly take home pay, is fine, but surely, surely, they are not paying their au pair $1550 for a whole month’s work? (The Purse)
People have been asking for a free way to file your taxes for years and years and years, and Joe Biden did the thing Democrats could never quite get sewn up: Pilot for free online tax filing will be available to limited pools of people paying simplified taxes in 12 states for the 2023 tax year. — More Perfect Union
Excessively Farting Passenger Reportedly Causes American Airlines Flight to Turn Around — People.
Bill McKibben says Joe Biden just put the kibosh on a big ol’ natural gas … thingie … and that it’s “the biggest thing a U.S. president has ever done to stand up to the fossil fuel industry.”
I for one absolutely can’t wait for Will and Harper Go to Del Mar. (Daily Beast)
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I just want to throw Wonkette some money!
Today’s hed art drawn by animator Aaron Blaise. You can read more about him here: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/trunk-troubles?r=angu9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcome=true
Excessively Farting Passenger Reportedly Causes American Airlines Flight to Turn Around! DEI Strikes Again!