FARTING FRUIT FLIES! Tabs, Mon., Feb. 17, 2025
Morning news rounduuuuuuuuuuuup!!!!!!
Elon’s Department of Government Efficiency Department That’s Not a Department oops posted classified data from National Reconnaissance Office, the federal agency that designs, builds, and maintains US intelligence satellites, great! And the contents of DEI.gov were briefly accessible, with their SECRET SQUIRREL talking points about the things the evil DEI people are supposedly allegedly up to, which a German researcher found on the Internet archive (“$3.4 million for Malaysian drug-fueled gay sex app,” tell me more!) And the DOGE website itself got hacked and defaced. Big Balls, WTF are you even trying to do? (HuffPost, 404 media, The Independent)
Dear Leader has reportedly proposed to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy a little extortion scheme where the US gets get 50 percent ownership of Ukraine's rare earth minerals in exchange for military support, because the government runs on bribes now. (Politico)
JD Vance went to the Munich Security Conference and lectured everybody about how they should hug Nazis more. Then the Europeans were like holy shit, WTF are we going to do now that we can’t count on the US to be an ally? (Politico EU)
The Trump administration fired National Nuclear Security Administration workers (on the same day a Russian drone hit the Chernobyl power plant), then tried to hire them back, then realized they couldn’t reach them because when they were terminated their email accounts were also deleted. HAHA, SOB. (NBC)
Oh, and Trump Tweet-truthed “He who saves his Country does not violate any Law.” Settle down, there, Napoleon. (Reuters)
Measles! Measles! Get your measles here! Popping up in Texas and erupting in New Mexico! Just in time for the CDC to announce it will only update measles data once a month. MMR shots work, in spite of what Bobby Brainworms might tell you. (CNN, CDC)
In Atlanta, creepy cameras have appeared, pointed at the houses of activists who have opposed “Cop City,” a new police training facility. Whut? (Guardian)
More about how the South African group AfriForum got in Trump’s ear with conspiracy theories about how white South Africans are the REAL victims of apartheid. Spoiler, it was Tucker Carlson. (Guardian)
Faculty at the Naval Academy are no longer allowed to use materials in the classroom that teach about systemic racism and sexism, or use certain forbidden terms, according to an internal email. What happens if a student asks why all the Black soldiers had their own regiments before 1948, or what the WACs were? Who knows! In typical fascist fashion, the guidance is all vague. And they’re up to similar with any school that accepts federal funds, threatening to take them away if they get up to anything that smells like DEI. How do they plan to enforce that if they eliminate the Department of Ed? Who knows. (Baltimore Banner archive link, Inside Higher Ed, “dear colleague” letter)
You can buy loosies in the Bronx. Loose eggs, that is! (CBS)
Missing “Succession”? Enjoy stories about rich families who want to tear each other’s hair out because a manipulative patriarch pits them against each other? James Murdoch pours the hot tea on the latest in his family-trust litigation saga. (The Atlantic)
Overwhelmed by all of the democracy-murdering things Trump has been up to? Data scientist Christina Pagel has been helpfully placing them all into a Venn diagram. (Christina Pagel Substack)
Worcester, Massachusetts, voted to become a a transgender sanctuary city, joining Sacramento, San Francisco, West Hollywood, and Kansas City, MO. (NBC News)
Oo, archaeologists have discovered a 2,000-year-old Roman basilica under an office building in London (née Londinium)! (BBC)
The New Yorker has a long, touching (hard) read that will make you contemplate faith and redemption and such: “The Nuns Trying to Save the Women on Texas’s Death Row.” (New Yorker archive link)
Scientists have genetically engineered zebrafish and fruit flies to eat methyl mercury and fart out elemental mercury instead. (Science Daily)
Hey, Rebecca is off ALL WEEK! Go see her in Orange County and San Diego for the traditional buying of the drinks, by her, for you, while in the meantime as soon as she pulls out of the driveway the staff will throw a beer party at Wonkette HQ, put a pizza on the turntable and takes turns doing each others’ nails.
Orange County, she’s buying you drinks at her favorite olden days dive haunt THE FLING, 2370 N Tustin Ave, Santa Ana, TUESDAY, Feb. 18, 7-9 p.m.
San Diego, she’s buying you fish and chips and beers at SHAKESPEARE PUB, 3701 India St., San Diego, click here for parking direx, THURSDAY, Feb. 20, 6-8 p.m.! Special surprise guests! We love you!
Here is where you give Wonkette all your extra money with Paypal.
This is the button for giving us all your extra money with Venmo. It’s ventabulous!
Wonkette IMPEACH and HELL. NO. sale continues at Wonkette Bazaar!
Your marine science hed gif info link of the day: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/anglerfish-surfaces-near-tenerife
And a thematic meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/5fdb606d-4ffe-4d57-8b58-e380254bca6a
Not doom related:
Did the anniversary shuffle yesterday, and while everything from our astro signs to our age disparity to my judgmental siblings (I have non judgmental ones, these are not included) and a judgmental society once told me that we would never last. So...23 years later still waiting for that dramatic ending and what not.
But I digress.
He got me a pair of pearl earrings, cause I did not have a pair of them, and always wanted real ones :) Just little studs surrounded by a ring of teeeny white sapphires, so very understated and prettieness. Apparently, my spawn told him that is what I wanted, cause back in the summer when we went to the wedding I offhand remarked to my youngest, as I was donning my strand of pearls, that I wish I had matching earrings.
There is a reason why the astro signs and age disparity and judgmental siblings and society got it wrong.