FBI Director Kash Patel Knows The Real Epstein Files Is Jimmy Hoffa's Corpse, LOOK OVER THERE!

Where? Well they don't know that either.

Jimmy Hoffa

This administration will do anything to make people forget all about those Epstein Files, which the House is currently entirely shut down to avoid a vote on releasing. Files about the 1937 death of Amelia Earhart! Files about Martin Luther King Jr. and JFK! None of these document dumps so far seem to have had anything new or notable in them, and hot DAMN those Epstein Files must be kid-fuckin’ BAD. And now kooky Kash Patel has ordered FBI workers to abandon everything they’re working on and scour FBI files top-to-bottom for information about the 1975 disappearance and presumed death of Jimmy Hoffa.

Good gracious, talk about cold cases! We remember that one from when Mother was teaching us to read and write using old issues of the National Enquirer, Star, and their somehow even-tawdrier cousin, The Globe! Trump sure is dusting off all of the old tabloid true-crime hits for the grannies in the back!

The mysterious disappearance of James Riddle Hoffa was the JonBenet Ramsey case of its day, a True Crime chestnut before True Crime was even its own media genre. What actually became of Hoffa and his presumed-murdered corpse is somewhat mysterious, but also, not really.

To recap, Hoffa from 1957 to 1971 was the president of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters, the trade union of American and Canadian freight and moving workers, headquartered in Detroit. And he was enormously popular and effective, and grew the union’s membership from 75,000 to more than 2 million in its prime, and secured the first national agreement for Teamsters’ rates in 1964 with the National Master Freight Agreement. He used strikes and secondary boycotts to leverage good contracts for workers, and grew the Teamsters to become one of the most powerful unions of all time!

Buuut, somebody already had their fingers in the trucking business when he arrived on the scene. Organized criminals! And to unify and expand his union, Some People Say, Hoffa made deals with said criminals, and also was running a bit of a racket himself, and misusing union funds.

And following years of Eisenhower’s Attorney General William P. Rogers and then Robert F. Kennedy’s DOJ trying to get charges to stick to Hoffa, hearings in the Senate about alleged improprieties, and a court-appointed board of monitors for the Teamsters, finally some charges did stick.

A dramatic portrayal!

In 1967 Hoffa was convicted of jury tampering, attempted bribery, and conspiracy, along with mail and wire fraud charges he’d been convicted of in separate trials, and he got sentenced to 13 years in the federal clink. But then in 1971, Hoffa got a commutation from President Nixon. And once sprung, Hoffa aspired to run for Teamster leader again. But the mafia did not want that. And Hoffa declared that he was going to run anyway, BAD IDEA.

And then, on July 30, 1975, Hoffa was seen for the last time in the parking lot of the Machus Red Fox restaurant in Bloomfield Township, Michigan, where he’d been waiting to meet with Tony “Tony Jack” Giacolone (pronounced “Jack Aloney”), a member of the Detroit Partnership / local mob, and alleged New Jersey Genovese crime-family figure Anthony “Tony Pro” Provenzano, with whom Hoffa had some kind of unspecified feud. Apparently Hoffa thought they were all going to talk out / squash their beef, even though he’d previously told friends that Tony Pro had threatened to “pull out my guts or kidnap my grandchildren.” Never go with mobsters or hippies to a second location!

Tony Pro and Tony Jack claimed to have had alibis for the day in question, but police dogs detected Hoffa’s scent in a car belonging to Tony Jack’s son Joe, and in 2001, DNA testing from a hair in Joe’s car matched a sample of Hoffa’s hair. But Hoffa was never seen again, and declared dead in 1982. And the mystery remains as to exactly who killed him, and how, and where his body wound up. Over the past 50 years there have been countless unsuccessful digs looking for it, including as recently as 2022 at the former PJP Landfill in New Jersey, based on a mobster’s deathbed confession.

According to The Mob Museum, tips have also led to digs in:

…a former card casino in Gardena, California; under a suburban swimming pool in Hampton, Michigan; at a farm in Milford, Michigan; a backyard in Roseville, Michigan; the site of a demolished building at a football stadium in New Jersey (on the say-so of a Mob informant); and looking inside a home in Bloomfield, Michigan.

Other less-credible reports [include] that Hoffa was stuffed in a barrel and dumped into the Florida everglades (via another Mob squealer) and that his body was melted into steel shipped to Japan.

Still others have opined that he was murdered and cremated in a mob-owned funeral home, or buried in concrete foundations of various building the mob was suspected of being involved with constructing. We will almost surely never know! Though it makes little sense that anyone would take the risk to cart the body cross-country, with so many handier places to hide it in Michigan.

It’s a mystery story that’s been hashed and re-hashed, had shelves of books written about it, hours of podcasts recorded, and multiple movies made, including 1992’s Hoffa with Jack Nicholson and Danny DeVito. And in 2019 Al Pacino played him in The Irishman, a three-and-a-half hour Scorsese epic also featuring Robert De Niro as the titular Irishman, Frank Sheeran, plus Harvey Keitel, and a greased and smoldering Bobby Cannavale.

And now Hoffa’s death will be Kashed and re-Kashed! But again, almost surely nothing new to learn here, and no surprise in the FBI files.

Unlike those EPSTEIN FILES!

Where are THEY?

PS: Has American film culture lionizing criminals and mafia figures led to us having a felon as a president today? Also, how many more movies can possibly be squeezed out of the mafia genre?

Discuss!

[CNN]

Follow me on Bluesky!