465 Comments
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Bob's avatar

Every picture of Kash Patel looks like his colonoscopy prep is catching up to him …

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Maureen's avatar

Bug-eyed shit weasel - I will be chuckling about this for a good part of the day.

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Rick G.'s avatar

"(Clyde Tolson could not be reached for comment.)"

I thought he and J. Edgar were really into the whole seance/ouija thing. You. Didn't. Even. Try.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Let me understand. The Head of the FBI has assigned Agents of the FBI to protect the Girlfriend of the Head of the FBI from the Head of the FBI?

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Fifth Dentist's avatar

I'd bet one of the agents ends up banging the singer.

Any takers?

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Hank Napkin's avatar

"Bang bang shoo-oot shoot!"

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

Just for clarity, a TS does not inherently require a polygraph. I had one and was never polygraphed. Certain programs at the TS-SCI level and above require polygraphs. And a senior FBI official with access to ALL the secrets? Yes.

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Gary. I had that kind of boyfriend once when I was a kid. I moved where he could not find me.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Your comment made me laugh, but in sorrow.

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Yumacrim1's avatar

Whoops, wrong article, but you know what I'm talking about.

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Yumacrim1's avatar

I love how Judge Fitzpatrick italicized "First" "Second" etc in each paragraph all through the recital of illegalities, shenanigans, and basic rookie mistakes. I have defended people in federal court since the 70s, and never seen a judge be so thorough in humiliating someone - even when they are lecturing a guilty defendant they think four or five instances is enough.

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PuraVida's avatar

Complete with citations.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I guess if I had private jets and private security personnel to throw around, I could get laid, too.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

"Who's that sprawled on the wing of my jet?"

"Why, it's Supermodel Covergirl Melania Knavs on the cover of this month's 'Jet Wing Sprawl The Magazine for Mans!'"

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Rick G.'s avatar

"She lost all that baby fat in just a week, didn't she?"

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Megan Macomber's avatar

MAGA, where all the women are puppets or trophies, imprisoned by their own buy-in to the fantasies of pathetic little men.

Rapunzel with a Mohawk. My Last Duchess by choice. Why do they participate? What do they think they will get out of this testosterone spray? Because if it's Ka$h Patel, it's worthless.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

"Come what may" is their motto.

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Bitter Scribe's avatar

What the fuck does Bongino DO all day, anyway?

And what kinds of questions get asked during a security clearance polygraph that Bongino is so anxious to avoid?

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Every single thing Dan Bongino has done in his life is kompromat.

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Toast32's avatar

"Though we suppose assigning a bunch of hardened FBI agents to surround Wilkins all the time will discourage her being approached by guys her own age. That’s real boyfriend behavior. Creepy, abusive, insanely jealous, destined for multiple restraining orders boyfriend behavior." Or she could simply be a beard.

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Herr Snackmeier's avatar

So, your basically saying the girlfriend is getting the Frank Pentangeli treatment?

Next will we hear that she's getting free room and board at an Army base?

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Trux Mint In Box's avatar

I picture Lainey Wilson singing loudly playing her guitar,

🎶 Forgiveness…It more than saying…sorry *loud whisper “I’m sorry”…🎶

to a cringing SWAT team right now

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DJ Teetop's avatar

Where is that dipshit Sheriff? He must be somewhere in this misadministration.

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