422 Comments

Remember the big fuss about unsecured phones and who had them in the WH?

https://uploads.disquscdn.c...

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And add another wall around his phone, so he can't tweet!

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Only partners he could get. Until Putin came along.

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Collect all the stuff that makes him look really bad (how hard can that be?) and hand it to him for official declassification. He won't read it - or understand it if he tries.

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Elvis is back in the house!

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You could Kickstart that project in a microsecond.

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An inexhaustible suppply of a renewable fuel? Sounds promising.

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"Why can't I lie, cheat, and steal, and buy my way out of trouble when I get caught? We need to run government more like ­‑a‑ my business!"

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Your average liar is trying to convince somebody of something. Donnie Dipshit's lies have this unusual character, in that they're so blatant that nobody is fooled. Even the dumbest of the dumbfuck Trumpanzees knows he's lying - but they don't care.

Some people are actually comfortable living in a bullshit alternative reality, not caring that it's fake, so long as new lies can be fabricated to patch up the inconsistencies and gaping holes as fast as they appear. This is something of a revelation to me, although the existence of religion should have tipped me off long ago.Why they aren't satisfied with reality remains a bit of a mystery.

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"And Mueller, with no expression on his face, reaches for another document." h/t Charlie Pierce.

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*dons shades*

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Possibly sometime just before you die? I'm guessing, based on the fact that my paternal grandfather, in his 70s, used to hang out at the grocery store, wearing sunglasses so the pretty girls wouldn't realize he was ogling like a Master Ogler.

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Well, of course they did. Apart from the fake money around him, he's them.

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