America's fancy new hundred dollar bills are apparently so hard to actually print that the Federal Reserve has quarantined more than a billion of the new Benjamins within "special vaults" in Fort Worth and D.C.
What you are describing is called a Kotzebue Bukkake, and it has in fact been done to Sarah by a certain show machine enthusiast on at least one occasion, on her birthday.
All this dicking around with so-called security "features" and the counterfeiters will still be able to print them up by the bushel at Kinko's.
I regret to inform that due to unfortunate circumstances, all checks for my monthly payment over the next 25 years have encountered sporadic creasing problems which will result in delay of their issue date. These checks are being kept in quarantine until such time I can deal with the problem.
Thank you for your patience and understanding.
Roscoe P. Coltraine, Responsible Homeowner and Mortgagee
What you are describing is called a Kotzebue Bukkake, and it has in fact been done to Sarah by a certain show machine enthusiast on at least one occasion, on her birthday.
Now that's the America I know and love, represented by a brilliant horndog.
All this dicking around with so-called security "features" and the counterfeiters will still be able to print them up by the bushel at Kinko's.
Dear Mortgage Company,
I regret to inform that due to unfortunate circumstances, all checks for my monthly payment over the next 25 years have encountered sporadic creasing problems which will result in delay of their issue date. These checks are being kept in quarantine until such time I can deal with the problem.
Thank you for your patience and understanding.
Roscoe P. Coltraine, Responsible Homeowner and Mortgagee