255 Comments
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Marla's avatar

When do we get to the bit about consorting with known criminals? That would be, like, everyone he works with.

What about attempts to secure gainful employment? I guess this is where he would mention that he's running for POTUS.

He will have to surrender all his firearms. That will be nice.

There is a very long list of countries that don't admit convicted felons, among them some of our allies. How's that going to work out for the US, assuming this freak gets elected? [I'm not thinking that he will, but...yannow]

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Fred Hampton's avatar

The interview only lasted 30 minutes. There’s no way the probation officer could have covered all the topics in that time. And Shitler’s lawyer Blanche was there. This was a total softball interview. The orange cocksucker consistently gets special treatment.

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Don't dox me bro's avatar

Trump's depiction on the handle of that 45 looks like him blowing two dudes at the same time. These people fuck literally everything up.

I know that some people will say that he is in a fighting stance with his fists up. But if you've ever seen him make an actual fist in public and hold it up, you know that if he hit anyone with that wet fish fist, he would break several bones in his hand. He can't even make a fist correctly. Jagoff

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Marcie. I just hope Biden will disallow TFG getting briefings that include ANY classified information. He is never to be trusted.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

I’m sure whoever is Stinky von Shitzinpants’ probation officer is grateful that the meeting is virtual so that they won’t need industrial strength air freshener to get rid of the stench of his farts from their office.

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Opalescent Riddles's avatar

They make portable offices for such situations, with several available seating configurations; a 2-seater would probably work here Then, when the need for the space has passed, the rental company picks it up and trucks it to a sanitary dumping station for emptying.

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LarrytheRed's avatar

I expect TFG to insiste he's APPEALING!

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Enter Ranting's avatar

There's nothing appealing about PAB.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Donnie took care of the associating with criminals thing. No one he knows who's a criminal wants anything to do with him because he hasn't given them one penny from the 400 million legal defense fund he's amassed for their legal bills.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Do we get to see the Victim Impact Statements? Stormy Daniels and Michael Cohen could make bank on theirs.

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Maybe's avatar

I don't believe that Big Macs are considered a controlled substance. Though they probably should be.

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Emil Muz's avatar

I'm imagining that if we don't have a new York State of mind or ID, we can't claim victimhood since it's People v Sentient Infected Pustule, Sr.?

I mentioned my grandmother earlier: it sorta appalled & amused me that although she was born & lived her entire life in the Empire State, she actually admitted once that she had no idea of what that nickname meant.

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Tessie's avatar

"The Victim Impact Statement is the crime victim’s story of how the crime affected his or her life, how life was before the crime compared to after the crime, and how the crime has impacted other people."

`

Because of the drugs, he can no longer function as a man... But when he sat on little Cosette, that was the last straw.

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Nemo's avatar

I'm disappointed this isn't in person. I was looking forward to seeing him negotiating the sidewalks of NYC using his walker, like a regular Harvey Weinstein. Of course he would have noped out on that and had the SS haul his flabby ass in on a litter. Oh well.

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Tessie's avatar

They should wheel him on a hand truck, like his buddy Hannibal Lecter.

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Ms.Moon's avatar

Dr. Lecter was a man of fantastic taste and breeding. He would have had nothing to do with Donald Trump. Except to kill him for the sin of having poor taste in everything. Dr. Lecter would not have eaten him.

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JoannaJeannineJanet's avatar

"Buddy"? Certainly not - I'd never serve meat from such a poor quality animal.

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Gammarae's avatar

are we submitting one wonkette victim statement for our emotional distress, or are we each going to send one in?

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Stulexington's avatar

Before I allow my blood to boil, are these accommodations a thing that are sometimes granted to other defendants?

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Marcie Jones's avatar

Yes, as a non-violent offender who lives in a different state. It also helps the NY probation office not be disrupted with the Secret Service and all that.

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GiggleSnort's avatar

Does Trump even have any non-criminal associates?

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fawkedifiknow's avatar

This is one of those "the question answers itself" deals, isn't it?

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Pisto75666's avatar

"The pre-sentence report is a chance for the defendant’s lawyer to say good things about the defendant"

"I TRIED but I just couldn't think of anything!"

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I still find it bizarre that a person exists with absolutely no positive traits at all.

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Mark Linimon's avatar

Well, I mean, there's ... aw, I got nuttin'.

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Pisto75666's avatar

Well.... he serves as a good cautionary tale!

Is that a positive trait?

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Not according to his victims.

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VogonPoeticLicense's avatar

Somewhat fluent (fingers started typing fluid, bad fingers!) in Russian.

Knowledgeable about laundering.

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Gammarae's avatar

well, come and sit by me, then.

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John Norris's avatar

Convicted Felon never killed a dog in a gravel pit.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

That we know of.

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