FIFA Peace Prize Winner Donald Trump Doing More Peace Again Definitely For Sure!
Did anyone tell Hamas and Israel their war is over?
Stop us if you’ve heard this one before: Donald Trump has solved the Israel-Gaza crisis!
Oh, you have heard that one before? A whole bunch of times? And like every other solution to this crisis he has ever claimed to have negotiated, it turned out to be vaporware? Much like every other crisis ever where he has prematurely announced victory, be it Israel or government funding fights or something else? Like every time he has announced Iran has agreed to all his demands to open the Strait of Hormuz and surrender to the US? So all you must do is read what the representatives of Israel and Hamas are saying to know that this is the latest in a long, long, long, long line of occasions when Trump has gotten way out over his skis? Not that he would ever get on a pair of skis, because skiing takes physical effort? And oh, isn’t the image of Trump stuffed into a snowsuit careening down a ski slope like someone rolled a pumpkin down a mountain at high speed hilarious?
Yeah, us too.
Still, it’s kind of entertaining to watch anyone report the latest “deal” with a straight face in the geopolitical equivalent of a visit from the wallet inspector. Starting with Trump himself, who made a very frenetic post on TruthSocial on Thursday evening:
Today, the Board of Peace reached a HISTORIC agreement for the COMPLETE DISARMAMENT of Hamas and all other armed groups in Gaza. This is a monumental step toward lasting PEACE and SECURITY.
First of all, Trump’s Board of Peace, which was ostensibly established to oversee Gaza’s reconstruction, is either another one of his shakedown schemes and/or one of his pathetic attempts to stand up a rival to an established organization (the United Nations) that he controls. The BoP has almost no support from Western nations. Joining it requires paying $1 billion. In all, the BoP has reportedly taken in roughly $17 billion in donations. But that money has gone into a private bank account at JP Morgan instead of its established account at the World Bank, which has public reporting requirements.
All $17 billion could have gone to buying Trump GLP-1 pills for all anyone knows. Or to pay Barron’s college tuition or Don Jr.’s dealer. So many possibilities.
Second of all, as mentioned, we’ve heard this shit before. More than once.
As disarmament is completed, Israeli forces will withdraw, and the International Stabilization Force will work with a new Palestinian police force to take responsibility for Gaza being safe for its residents and its neighbors.
All that sounds neat, until you head over to the Wall Street Journal and read what spokesmen for Hamas are saying:
Ghazi Hamad, a member of Hamas’s negotiating team, said the group agreed to place its weapons in a storage facility overseen by the National Committee for the Administration of Gaza, a Palestinian-run technocratic group charged with the enclave’s political and security transition.
So not really disarmament, more Hamas giving their weapons to a new group, overseen by the Board of Peace and whose members haven’t been allowed into Gaza yet, to hold in escrow.
“We didn’t say disarmament, we didn’t say handing over the weapons, and we didn’t agree on any Israeli involvement,” Hamad said, adding that the plan is contingent on Israel ending military operations in Gaza and allowing humanitarian aid in.
This is always the deal. Hamas says its disarmament is contingent on Israel withdrawing from Gaza, and there will be no concessions until that happens. Israel says its withdrawing from Gaza is dependent on Hamas disarming, and there will be no concessions until that happens. This new plan doesn’t seem to have a mechanism for resolving that tension any more than any other agreement ever has.
As for Israel, it has apparently not agreed to any of this. The only comment we have found is from Itmar Ben-Gvir, the far-right minister of national security. Ben-Gvir stated that the deal is “unacceptable to Israel,” and that any Israeli military actions should continue to encourage Palestinians to leave Gaza. The far Right has still not given up on its goal of ridding Gaza of all the Palestinians and then building Israeli settlements all across it. And the far Right is still the most powerful force in Israel.
Ben-Gvir’s comments bring up another reason no one should believe this: As far as we know, Benjamin Netanyahu did not dissolve his war cabinet and form a new government with moderates or leftists who want peace. Bibi is facing an election in October, he’s not alienating the hard Right that makes up most of his support now. Or probably ever, if he thinks it will cost him power.
This alleged agreement comes out of the 20-point peace plan that Hamas and Israel allegedly agreed to last fall. You can imagine Trump is desperate for a victory right now, what with his approval ratings tanking and the midterm elections that are on track to wipe out his party’s congressional majorities. And he’s Trump, so he’s going to over-interpret everything as another great victory.
But like everything else since the October 7 attacks and anything else he has ever said ever, this should all be taken with a salt mine’s worth of salt.
[TruthSocial / WSJ]
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I am coming to the conclusion that the rumors are true and the sitting president of the United States may have mental health trouble!
It’s bullshit, and even more desperately transparent than his usual lying. I just subjected myself to what had to be a 15,000-word longform with MAGA Haberhack, and got two takeaways:
All this psycho wants is to do whatever he wants with no one able to tell him no, and to leave a mark on the world that he was a “capital-G great man” that no one can take away from him.
He doesn’t care about us. He doesn’t care about peace. He cares about not being seen as a loser.
Boy, is he gonna be surprised.