27 Comments

My uncle had to beat the shit out of him when he threatened my mother. Thank god we went through this shit during the 70s instead of the 90s or we'd have been on the Maury Povich show. We were that kind of family.<br /><br />---

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And right off the bat, they repeat the Churchill bust canard.

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Mamie Eisenhower was a dirty, dirty girl.

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Diana Rigg?

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Meow.

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"Your female gendered parental unit is extremely obese, therefore, clever yet illogical wordplay must be used to describe her! Humor program complete."

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The things you learn from Wonkette!

In the olden tymes, women's nipples and bathing suit areas used to be strange, really dark and square shaped!

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Oh, he'll poop his pants alright...once Romney unleashes his game-changer game wining strategy for winning...any day now.

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Hey...speaking of creepy shit...I took a look at the new folks that are following me. Damn...it's like Briebart is standing right behind me.

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Uh oh...Beck has enlisted the help of Team God.

<a href="http:\/\/jezebel.com\/5948003\/god-planning-to-use-magic-to-help-romney-win-election-says-glenn-beck" target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://jezebel.com/5948003/god-planning-to-use-ma...">http://jezebel.com/5948003/...

Or in other words...god to electorate: Pull my finger.

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CIA agent merely posing as a furniture salesman.

"The fat man reclines at dusk".

Wh-what?

"Ummm, the lever is on the right side."

What lever?!

"Errrr, the emperor sits upon the easy chair?"

Look, I'm I just want to find the hardware department, can you help me?

"Huh? Oh, yeah...take the elevator one floor down. It's right on your left.

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Bring the President down? Well, perhaps a mite offended... but he doesn't seem to stay depressed for long.

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I'm sure your uncle was just about to forward it, he was just running it through spell check first.

(his penis, that is)

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... As stupid as it takes?

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Davis and Alinsky were gay married, so BOTH!

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They've also been beating the Davis dead horse for years.

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