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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Powerful creatures, leopards. Even the non face-eating variety. Your hed gif info: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/stealth-mode

And meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/26dd3939-77db-4ae6-8aae-e2687dadb6c9?utm_source=share

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Littorally Speaking's avatar

𝘏𝘌𝘈𝘙 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯; 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘴, 𝘖 𝘮𝘺 𝘉𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘉𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘰𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘏𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘗𝘪𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥—𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦—𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘦𝘵 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘞𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘴 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘢𝘵. 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘮.

– Rudyard Kipling

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eddi-SABH's avatar

A graceful stalk. But it looks like the prey took off early. Poor kitty just flops down and complains.

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Michael Bowen's avatar

We visited my wife's cool cousin and her husband in California for Thanksgiving. They had recently returned from a photo safari in Tanzania where they saw two different leopards. One was actively scanning its surroundings from a tree and was as lean as you would expect a big cat to be. The other had obviously recently made a kill and was lolling around on its branch looking like a big pregnant house cat.

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weejee's avatar

Is it Caturday already Martini? Being retired one sometimes loses track of what day it is.

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Miss Grundy's avatar

Can we unleash this gorgeous creature in the corridors of the West Wing? And let him/her have tasty snacks?

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

A lot of the faces there are pretty unappetizing.

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Miss Grundy's avatar

But leopards are indiscriminate eaters.....

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

That's handy, given the amount of silicone and who knows what else they'd ingest if they weren't careful.

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A Tad Impatient To 86 47's avatar

I had a dream last night about being among huge, quiet crowds of people approaching our criminal government’s buildings, along with all those of complicit political groups. We should be like leopards. Though I doubt Mr. Leopard operates in anger.

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ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

Such power. I think JD Vance should be put in a room with this leopard for complaining about elderly cat ladies. Can you see him saying, "nice kitty."

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Jjamie's avatar

That is one disappointed kitty, especially after the perfect sneaky sneaky crawl!!

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Richard S's avatar

No sense of direction / location, though.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5es5MQX0VVA

"Looking For My Leopard" - Joel Veitch

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vorpal 🚫♔'s avatar

be verrrrry qwiet! I'm stalking MAGAts...

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Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

The moment the bird flew away is pretty obvious.

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Menotsure's avatar

Such grace and concentration

As they pursue their prey

I hope the slinky tail wags

Don't give the game away.

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Monsieur Grumpe's avatar

Cats of all sizes just can't keep their tails from jerking around when they're in stalk mode.

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tehbaddr's avatar

That is what is known as a Dalmatian Cat.

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Shocktreatment's avatar

A big cat moving like that leopard is moving? Big trouble coming for some critter.

That unconscious grace and the implication of (very) sudden death... Even if they weren't gorgeous, they'd be fascinating

.200 kill average is formidable, we're not talking journeyman pitcher batting averages...

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JCfromNC's avatar

That leopard looks to be doing some serious stalking... and then just settles in for a rest. I guess whatever they were after either turned out to be not as enticing as they'd thought from a distance, or left the area.

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Pere Ubu's avatar

It's a definite cat "WHAT? I MEANT TO COME HERE AND LAY DOWN. MY INTENTION ALL ALONG" move.

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Shocktreatment's avatar

"If you do not train, do not face the enemy"

He takes every opportunity...

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Suzie Greenburg's avatar

All casual at the end like OH HAI I DIDN'T EVEN SEE YOU HERE

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eddi-SABH's avatar

Republicans are not having a good time anymore. And they all know who to blame.

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Always Be Ithacating's avatar

At an advanced age, I am always working on joint range of motion. Leopard lady, I love you much more than I can say.

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jltympanum's avatar

Does anyone remember the WWII song we used to sing to the tune of "Whistle While You Work" which contained the lines:

Whistle while you work

Hitler is a jerk

Mussolini bit his weenie

Now it doesn't work

Maybe someone (with more musical talent than I have) can update this.

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Ward From Cali's avatar

I got news for that Reddit penis-word dude: weenage is already in use as a dick word.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Weenager

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Bupkus231's avatar

Really?

"Five New Slang Words For Penis..."

You headline this, but then we have to go to a Reddit link to find out what they are ( especially since we so often bill ourselves as a "dick joke emporium" )?

C'mon, let's see some more "completism" in reporting here.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Our Editrix just got back from Rome. Cut her some slack for the jet lag.

I hear they use Mountain Time over there.

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Bupkus231's avatar

Personally, I suspect the need to limit herself to 5 "new" slang words was at fault. How many terms would she have had to sift through to find "new" slang words?

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Bupkus231's avatar

From that "19th News" story:

"...In October, the right to wed was chipped away in Texas thanks to a rule change, approved by the Texas Supreme Court, which now allows judges to decline performing marriages based on their religious beliefs...."

How the hell is that even constitutional under the US Constitution? Maybe the Texas Supreme Court needs to face federal penalties for approving this. The assholes are so quick to cite the "supremacy clause" when it suits them, then go ahead and advance facially unconstitutional laws without a qualm.

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Bupkus231's avatar

Trump supposedly claimed that his new "gold card" visa program would generate "$50 trillion" - but, even at the $2 million he wants to charge corporate clients ( the $1 million is for individuals ), he doesn't seem to math out that it would take 25 million corporate clients to apply for this.

There ain't no way he spent any time trying to math it out - he's just spewing numbers like he always does.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Chumpflation. In his first term, he would have said it would generate $500 billion.

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Bupkus231's avatar

I didn't remember him putting forth a "gold card" program in his first term. The earliest I remember him talking about such a program to cost individuals $5 billion - a "presentation" that quickly disappeared into the rest of his mental quagmire. I guess I'm surprised that some version of it has resurfaced/ individuals

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Enter Ranting's avatar

Next week it'll be $60 trillion, then $70 trillion the week after that.

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Pig Bodine's avatar

Another name for the font designers in the house.

Flesh serif.

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Bupkus231's avatar

More trivial bullshit that's going to cost us money:

"𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐢 𝐟𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐔.𝐒. 𝐝𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝑆𝑒𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑆𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑐𝑜 𝑅𝑢𝑏𝑖𝑜 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐵𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛 𝑎𝑑𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑓𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑎 𝑠𝑎𝑛𝑠 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑓 𝑓𝑜𝑛𝑡, 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑣𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑢𝑒𝑠, 𝑎 “𝑤𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑙” 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑚𝑜𝑣𝑒."

Really - the Secretary of State, at a time when our alliances are falling apart and the nutjob-in-chief is trying to start a new war, has the time to worry about document fonts? And justifies his decision, which will likely cost millions if he insists on existing documents be re-done, as a font is "too woke"?

These assholes don't seem to recognize just how many of their actions look like those of assholes.

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Bupkus231's avatar

Was just a bit shocked by this:

[ WaPo archive ]Link: https://archive.ph/quszr

"𝐌𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧’𝐬 𝟏𝟐 𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐴𝑡 𝑎 𝑛𝑒𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ 𝑜𝑓 $390 𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑜𝑛, 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑊ℎ𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝐻𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑜𝑑𝑒𝑟𝑛 ℎ𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦."

Of course, I knew that too many of Trump's appointees were ultra rich, but I didn't guess it was this many ( several are pretty complete unknowns ). Also, why both saying "modern history" - it's clear that there's NEVER been so many billionaires in our government, let alone just the administration.

Roll out the tumbrels!!!!

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Androgenous AF's avatar

Rah! Rah! BIG GAY WEDDING DAY!

Congratulations and Best Wishes to All!

Nice article too.

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somebeanz's avatar

Wait til that leopard gets a whiff of Stephen Miller’s oil-pocked pores. That’s carnage I would like to see IN PERSON.

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Snowmaker417's avatar

just remember on the student loans- Republicans have literally taken money out of our pockets on this one.

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Alternative Dog's avatar

Chuck C. Johnson

All I remember about that name is writers often made a distinction between the good Chuck Johnson and the bad Chuck Johnson. Same as they did with Roger Ailes.

I'm so glad that no one with my name has risen to the level of being notoriously evil.

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Atrele Kasha's avatar

.... SODOMITE? REALLY NOW?

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