Flávio Bolsonaro, coup-attempting MAGA Brazilian loser, was fixin’ to try to attempt another coup after he lost Sunday’s election. But we guess he got the message that Donald Trump was too busy trying to steal his own elections to help, so he dropped it. (Trump gave a half-ass “rigged!” to a reporter in response to the results in Brazil earlier this week, and today said, “The election was really strange, and I thought it was terrible.” But he can’t really help.)
A judge in Brazil — Alexandre de Moraes, the chief judicial authority Trump and his fellow fascists hate so much — told Bolsonaro to surrender his damn passports, because of how Bolsonaro is a criminal like his father. (He’s currently being investigated for money laundering, tax evasion, and corruption.) It’s not clear whether he gave up the passports or not, or whether the Brazilian police canceled them fast enough, but he was nonetheless able to promptly flee to Argentina, then grabbed a private plane to Ecuador, apparently with an eventual destination of the Miami area. One mansion in particular, we reckon.
After a short stop [in Ecuador], that same plane took off headed for Miami, flight-tracking data shows.
Why wouldn’t he? That’s where his criminal dad fled to when he lost to Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva. (Criminal dad is now back in Brazil under house arrest.)
Besides, how else are you going to plan your next Latin American coup if you can’t go to Latin American Coup Sleepaway Camp at Mar-a-Lago? Maybe he can be roommates with future Cuban military dictator Marco Rubio!
Because that’s what the United States is now. The rogue nation where the worst of the worst fugitives and criminals flee to, as long as they’re Nazis and fascists.
Remember this the next time ICE is deporting a beloved member of your community. Mention it to the judge if you’re able.
“Worst of the worst.”
Rubio’s State Department (Of Latin American Coups) confirmed that Bolsonaro and his family would be getting visas, presumably so that they may live and plot crimes against their own people in peace. (Hear that, right-wing Brazilian voters? Nothing says “I stand with you” like “Goodbye!”)
The AP notes of course that Bolsonaro’s criminal brother Eduardo lives in Texas, having been “convicted in absentia in June of illegally lobbying the Trump administration.” (Which is now protecting him by giving him permanent residency. “Worst of the worst.”)
Bolsonaro really did seem like he was going to try to fight his pathetic loss, which was for the record by an enormous margin of 4.4 million votes. “I will hand over my passports and I will defend myself from this aberration,” he said this week on a video for his supporters. “It is a clear attempt to intimidate me. But I will not be silenced.” But, again, well, something changed. Like how he had no leg to stand on, or again, Trump is too feeble and senile to work on stealing more than one election at a time, and oh boy, these midterms are just looking worse and worse for him.
Newly re-elected whippersnapper Lula, who turned 81 this week, reacted to Bolsonaro running away, saying in part that it makes sense because Brazil is that family’s “second country” anyway:
“The first is licking American boots,” Lula said. “Those who are not liable do not fear. A fellow that secretly leaves his country, that’s because he is liable for something.”
Damn.
At press time, Marco Rubio was having the zoomies all over the White House because Daddy says Flávio gets to spend the night.
Want to read more Evan than just what’s at Wonkette? Visit The Moral High Ground and subscribe to it!
Follow me on Instagram!
Subscribe to me on YouTube!
And on BlueSky!
And on Facebook!




I will bet folding money that Trump and his greasy family flee to Russia when they are finally kicked to the curb and the subpeonas start flying
Awwwwwwwwww...
Katie Zacharia reveals she's been disowned by her own family due to loyalty to Trump
https://bsky.app/profile/trumprussiaties.bsky.social/post/3myumpj4wt22d
What a bummer...