How much are we enjoying the Epic Battle between Florida and Texas, to determine which state is more nutso? Oh, all the much. And now it involves sex toys, so we are REALLY getting off on this fight. It started earlier this week during a hearing on the Affordable Care Act, when Florida Rep. Alcee Hastings said Texas is "a crazy state," and Texas Rep. Michael Burgess was all, "Nuh uh, shut up, you better say you're sorry, and I'm gonna sit here and wait until you do," and Hastings was all, "Hell no, I will not apologize because Texas IS crazy, and also your mom!" Then Hastings said -- and this is an actual quote, people! -- "You will wait until hell freezes over." Ooooh, burn!
With medication and therapy I (and America) hope to forget about the cocksucker Dubya Bush who did not keep us safe on 9/11 then sent thousands of soldiers to die in Iraq to prove he has a bigger cock than his father. Several tens or hundreds of thousands of Iraqis died for the same reason. ... Um, I have to take my medication now.
My sister in law in Alabama asked my wife to get a vibrator/dildo for her a few years ago, because The Firehose State prohibits their sale.
I came very close to cementing a "WWJD" coin to the bottom before it was delivered, because the S-I-L is a fundagelical Christianist.
I saw the segment on Jon Stewart today- if Alcee Hastings is not at least nominated for legislative badass, there will be something wrong. That was all kinds of awesome.
And to top it off that crazy bitch what has the boney fingers in Arizonia has a law saying you can only have 2 dildos and you all thought Floraduh and Texass was fucked up
Texas lawmakers were dismayed to discover that Texas women were filling their bedside table drawers with dilldos. As this reflected poorly on Texas' (not-coincidentally gun-toting) men, they attempted to legislate away the embarassment.
Wait a second, this INCLUDES artificial vaginas? Oh no! These are not just sex toys, they are collectibles, or as I refer to them, my vaginal action figures. Who is to say that six is fine but seven is too much? I will not get rid of Priscilla or Margot just to satisfy some politician's idea of acceptable morals. Don't worry Sheila darling, daddy will keep you safe.
Margot!? Dunno how to say this dude, but she's been steppin' out on you. I swear she never said she was involved with someone else. I live by the bro code, bro.
Asking for a friend, are we? Butt of course!
With medication and therapy I (and America) hope to forget about the cocksucker Dubya Bush who did not keep us safe on 9/11 then sent thousands of soldiers to die in Iraq to prove he has a bigger cock than his father. Several tens or hundreds of thousands of Iraqis died for the same reason. ... Um, I have to take my medication now.
So now I'm going to have to invite people to my orgies?
As you know, you pleasure yourself with the dildo you have, not the dildo you might want or wish to have at a later time.
My sister in law in Alabama asked my wife to get a vibrator/dildo for her a few years ago, because The Firehose State prohibits their sale.
I came very close to cementing a "WWJD" coin to the bottom before it was delivered, because the S-I-L is a fundagelical Christianist.
I saw the segment on Jon Stewart today- if Alcee Hastings is not at least nominated for legislative badass, there will be something wrong. That was all kinds of awesome.
This is a nasty comparison. Dildos can be fun and useful.
One for each day of the week. On the seventh day, a well-earned rest.
And to top it off that crazy bitch what has the boney fingers in Arizonia has a law saying you can only have 2 dildos and you all thought Floraduh and Texass was fucked up
Throw one heck of a fun party.
Texas lawmakers were dismayed to discover that Texas women were filling their bedside table drawers with dilldos. As this reflected poorly on Texas' (not-coincidentally gun-toting) men, they attempted to legislate away the embarassment.
Wait a second, this INCLUDES artificial vaginas? Oh no! These are not just sex toys, they are collectibles, or as I refer to them, my vaginal action figures. Who is to say that six is fine but seven is too much? I will not get rid of Priscilla or Margot just to satisfy some politician's idea of acceptable morals. Don't worry Sheila darling, daddy will keep you safe.
Ladies and Gentlemen ... The Aristocrats!
Margot!? Dunno how to say this dude, but she's been steppin' out on you. I swear she never said she was involved with someone else. I live by the bro code, bro.
In Texas, you can't have dildos. In Florida, they elect them to high office.
Six dildos: Perry, Gohmert, Cruz, Barton, Stockman, Abbott, Cornyn. Um, that's seven ... oops.