FOG OF WAR! Tabs, Wed., Dec. 3, 2025
We may never stop laughing.
Bonjour! C’est TABS!
We know Pete Hegseth doesn’t have much military experience or a high rank and wasn’t really good at whatever he did when he was sent to war — kind of a participation trophy guy! — but we cannot stop laughing at him saying in yesterday’s Trump-fellating Cabinet meeting that he couldn’t remember seeing survivors on that boat after the first strike because “FOG OF WAR.” Y’all, Secretary Shitfaced telling guys to press buttons from a couple thousand miles away sounds almost as scary as all the STDs Donald Trump was (allegedly) dodging during his own “personal Vietnam” in the 1990s!
FOG OF WAR!
It’s like an alcoholic Little League coach trying to impress this year’s World Series champions, my God.
Here is Marco Rubio, slobbering on that dick during the same Cabinet meeting, while that dick slept next to him.
Here is Kristi Noem taking her turn at the slobber-trough, thanking Donald Trump for keeping hurricanes away. Yes, thank you, Dear Leader, for that.
And here is Trump at the end of his slobber-dick session, awake for this part, going on an unspeakably vile and racist Hitler rant against Somalian immigrants, because he hates all people who aren’t white.
Even the New York Times wrote about how evil Trump’s rant against Somali immigrants was, without any pussyfooting around. [New York Times]
After Trump’s Hitler Nazi dementia rant about Somalian immigrants, it was reported that the Trump Hitler Nazi regime is planning Hitler Nazi Gestapo ops against Somali immigrants in Minnesota, the vast majority of whom are American citizens. Why? Because Donald Trump is Hitler. [AP]
Laura Loomer and Matt Gaetz and James O’Keefe got to go to the Pentagon briefing about Hegseth’s boat murders yesterday! Finally, some real journalists who know about how the military works! Real talk, putting them in there sounds like an extreme panic move on their part, like they’re extremely worried about how this is playing among MAGA. All normal people already think the Trump regime is made of Nazis and terrorists, and nothing Laura Loomer, Matt Gaetz or James O’Keefe could say would change that, because those people don’t command the respect of normal people. The inbred MAGA faithful, though? If they’re calling those freaks in to have a Hayley who was the valedictorian salutatorian of her vacation Bible school spoonfeed them Secretary Shitfaced’s regurgitated lies, excuses and misdirections? [The Hill]
Here is Andrew Napolitano, formerly of Fox, saying out loud on Newsmax that Pete Hegseth and everybody else in that chain of command should be prosecuted for war crimes. So, um, as we were literally just saying about how obviously freaked out they are about how the entirely predictable results of Pete Hegseth’s many personal shortcomings are playing among MAGA.
The way Megyn Kelly worked herself into an enthusiastic frenzy fantasizing about random people she’s never met being murdered in the Caribbean Sea, let’s just say that nothing has changed about the fact that that soulless dumpster human needs therapy. [JoeMyGod]
ACTUALLY, PBS Newshour’s Nick Schifrin reported yesterday that they hit that boat FOUR TIMES. [PBS Newshour]
Here’s a great clip of Rachel Maddow on the Colbert show last night talking about how the Trump regime’s actions here are so unspeakably evil that it’s threatening to blow the entire Five Eyes intel-sharing alliance to pieces, because our allies don’t want to be associated with such evil, and they also don’t want to go to prison for war crimes for sharing the intelligence that leads to the next Trump-branded massacre of innocents.
Little bitch Tom Homan is slurping through his ugly puffy little bitch face in reaction to the possibility that Hegseth might eventually be prosecuted for war crimes and/or murder. “COME GET SOME,” he slurped to Jesse Watters, through his ugly puffy little bitch face. (He didn’t mean somebody had just handed him a $50,000 bribe in an Uber Eats bag and you could have some, but we can see how people immediately think about that when they hear Tom Homan slurp “COME GET SOME" through his ugly puffy little bitch face.) [JoeMyGod]
Hey, speaking of those new Pentagon “correspondents” — not Loomer and Gaetz, we mean the total no-name bootlickers and sycophants currently occupying the seats where the real journalist men and women used to sit at the Pentagon — here’s one:
Um, that you deep-throat Nazi cock better than the people with degrees you replaced at the … ? Can we consider this one asked and answered?
Aftyn Behn did not win in TN-07 last night, but that’s OK, that was always a longshot, because that district was gerrymandered to render Nashville electorally powerless and keep it out of Republican hands. But Donald Trump won by 22 last year. And Matt Van Epstein or whatever his name is only won by … a hair shy of nine? After Republicans spent all those millions in a race that they literally drew so they could steal the will of the voters from the voters?
Just before the election, Politico reported that a senior House Republican told them that “If our victory margin is single digits, the conference may come unhinged.” Well there’s your single digit, bitch. [MSNOW]
NOTE: I will be going live with Andra Watkins from the For Such A Time As This Substack TODAY at noon Eastern. To figure out what time that is in your time zone, BUY A CLOCK and/or GO TO SCHOOL. [For Such A Time As This]
And that is all I have to say about that, and all I have to say about these tabs!
Bonne journée!
(That’s French for THESE TABS ARE OVER, GO AWAY NOW.)
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Yes, it’s World Coati Day! What did Coati Claus leave under your tree?
Learn more here: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/december-3rd-is-world-coati-day
Fuck tRump, it was *I* that kept the hurricanes away. Because I’m preparing a planet-swallowing black hole event that’s gonna BLOW YER MINDS!