14 Comments

"I'm loyal to the team for my hometown"

What an <a href="http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/articles\/you-will-suffer-humiliation-when-the-sports-team-f,10804\/" target="_blank">Onionish</a> turn of phrase.

Expand full comment

I kind of drifted away from football for a while there. Does Joe Montana still play for the '49ers?

Expand full comment

Yes, and George Blanda is still the QB for the Raiders

Expand full comment

You need to be careful in Iran. <a href="http://www.mirror.co.uk/new..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/british-w...">http://www.mirror.co.uk/new...

Expand full comment

That was the heart-healthy version (I said drain the fat).

Expand full comment

Maybe we can just DVR the Super Bowl and skip to only play back the commercials?

Expand full comment

What is the point of professional football? Is it to make millionaires out of people who (allegedly) rape, murder, and beat people? To make rich team owners richer while poor people in their cities see their taxes going to build palaces with "sky boxes" they'll never be able to see the inside of because the tickets are too expensive? To make money for advertisers on the teevee machines?

Because if it's any or all of the above, why are we even tolerating it? Just pull the plug, already, America.

Expand full comment

Jerry Jones was considering building his ego-monument in Irving, Texas, but only if the city would divert the taxes currently spent on public transit to the intended stadium. The city told him that wouldn't happen, so he built the stadium in Arlington, with help (or bribes if you prefer) from that city. Arlington wouldn't even consider having a station on the rail line between Dallas and Fort Worth.

So, yes to making the rich richer while the poors pay.

Expand full comment

Possibly comments are disabled there because Dok read one too many posts about comments not being allowed.

Expand full comment

Thanks a lot, football; you broke our recipe hubster.

Here you go Wonkers:

1 box velveeta 1 lb bulk sausage (such as Jimmy Dean)

Brown sausage, drain fat. Put meat and velveeta in crock pot on low for a few hours, stirring occasionally. Dip everything in it.

Hate yourself for enjoying this snack and football.

Expand full comment

The judges would also accept Cowboys or Giants, also too

Expand full comment

The NFL makes the Catholic Church look like Peen State.

Two things: Peen State is the BEST TYPO EVER Also, there are similarities between the two.

Expand full comment

I did not know dogs could clean out closets. How hard is the training? <Asking for my 3 mini dachshunds>

Expand full comment

The NCAA bullshit really pisses me off. Take the case of USC vs. Penn State: Apparently, at least according to the severity of punishments in each case, it's far worse to let a sports agent buy a player's mom a house than it is to let a serial child rapist run amok in your halls for over a decade. The message from the NCAA is- it's not the specific infraction you commit, it's whether or not you sufficiently kiss our ass when we "investigate". Unfortunately, USC's AD Mike Garrett fought the charges, so they threw the book at them. That case also served as a chance for the NCAA to whitewash their lousy history of cleaning up the league- they made an example of USC to cover up for years of ignoring chronic shenanigans in the SEC- ask Cam Newton's dad or Winston how easy it is to get away with just about anything if you're from the football happy Southeast Conference.

Expand full comment