One thing Ronald Reagan used tolovewas sucking on a little fruity jelly bean, back when he was president and sitting at his desk thinking about 1950s movies while a bunch of sociopaths running the White House actually began the "IslamoFascist Movement" by first employing Osama bin Laden against the Russians in Afghanistan and then giving a bunch of insane weapons to the Ayatollah's Iran as a kind of bizarre ruin-the-world/money-laundering operation against the, uh, communists in Central America. Yes sir, Ronny loved these "Jelly Belly" concoctions. It was hard to keep that phony smile on his mean, rat face -- especially without a cigarette always in his mouth, which is how he kept his rage in check during the seventy or so years before he somehow became president.
As a resident of the bankrupt community of Vallejo, I can easily drive down to the jelly bean place and ask one of the oompa-loompahs to give me a few boxes of Ronnie Raygun's jellybeans, so that my wonkett buddies can enjoy them anonymously. Feel free to contact me at Roscoe @gspot.com.
I'll nevar forgit the first time I bit into a Jelly Belly™ brand jelly bean. I said, "Oh my gosh, it's like I'm eating a real cataloupe."
Back in the day, I worked as a barista (aka, store clerk) when I was in college. We made a fucking FORTUNE selling Ronnie's brand of jelly bean. One of the store's policies was that we could drink as much coffee as we liked, plus, we could munch on the jelly beans as long as we only took a small scoop at a time. One day, I forgot my lunch. You know how if you drink something hot, you don't feel hungry for a while? So, I drank a little more coffee than usual, plus -what the hell- I munched on some jelly beans.
By the end of my shift, I was leaving vapor trails.
Yeah well Forbes can come out here and suck our mayor&#039;s balls. You see, according to Mayor Davis, Vallejo is a <a href="http:\/\/abclocal.go.com\/kgo\/story\?section=news\/local\/north_bay&amp\;id=7139980" target="_blank"> city of God.</a>
<b>Great Thoughts of Ronald Reagan</b>
&quot;A tree&#039;s a tree. How many more do you need to look at?&quot; Ronald Reagan (Governor of California), quoted in the Sacramento Bee, opposing expansion of Redwood National Park, March 3, 1966
&quot;All the waste in a year from a nuclear power plant can be stored under a desk.&quot; Ronald Reagan (Republican candidate for president), quoted in the Burlington (Vermont) Free Press, February 15, 1980
&quot;It&#039;s silly talking about how many years we will have to spend in the jungles of Vietnam when we could pave the whole country and put parking stripes on it and still be home by Christmas.&quot; Ronald Reagan (candidate for Governor of California), interviewed in the Fresno Bee, October 10, 1965
&quot;The moral equal of our Founding Fathers.&quot; President Reagan, describing the Nicaraguan contras, March 1, 1985
&quot;Fascism was really the basis for the New Deal.&quot; Ronald Reagan, quoted in Time, May 17, 1976
&quot;A faceless mass, waiting for handouts.&quot; Ronald Reagan, 1965. (Reagan describing Medicaid recipients.)
&quot;Unemployment insurance is a pre-paid vacation for freeloaders.&quot; California Governor Ronald Reagan, in the Sacramento Bee, April 28, 1966
<i>he liked to eat candy like a Spaniard while inventing more &ldquo;trees cause pollution&rdquo; or &ldquo;welfare buys the Negro a Cadillac&rdquo; bullshit to tell people on the teevee.</i> Don&#039;t forget &quot;Ketchup is a vegetable&quot;.
<i>&quot;...a great item to remember Reagan by.&quot;</i>
Not just &quot;great&quot; but possibly the <i>only</i> item a huge Reagan fan* will want to remember him by. The other aspects of Reagan&#039;s life/presidency are not as gratifying. Helping out the Islamic Republic of Iran (and thus the Taliban) with weapon deals. Helping legalize abortion as governor of California. Reinforcing family values by divorcing his first wife (although that seems kinda quaint compared to the current crop of Repubicans).
Deficits. Raising taxes (yes! he raised &#039;em, the RINO) Unaware of AIDS until Rock Hudson(!) died. Movies as policy statements. Star Wars. Astrology.
OMFG! Hand me some jelly beans -- the barbiturate ones. __________________ * if you&#039;re not a huge Reagan fan, just keep eating those high fructose corn syrup jelly beans.
As a resident of the bankrupt community of Vallejo, I can easily drive down to the jelly bean place and ask one of the oompa-loompahs to give me a few boxes of Ronnie Raygun&#039;s jellybeans, so that my wonkett buddies can enjoy them anonymously. Feel free to contact me at Roscoe @gspot.com.
I&#039;ll nevar forgit the first time I bit into a Jelly Belly&trade; brand jelly bean. I said, &quot;Oh my gosh, it&#039;s like I&#039;m eating a real cataloupe.&quot;
Actually they did, but they were absolutely shunned in market trials. Turns out all those Reagan fans were concerned about cannibalism.
Back in the day, I worked as a barista (aka, store clerk) when I was in college. We made a fucking FORTUNE selling Ronnie&#039;s brand of jelly bean. One of the store&#039;s policies was that we could drink as much coffee as we liked, plus, we could munch on the jelly beans as long as we only took a small scoop at a time. One day, I forgot my lunch. You know how if you drink something hot, you don&#039;t feel hungry for a while? So, I drank a little more coffee than usual, plus -what the hell- I munched on some jelly beans.
By the end of my shift, I was leaving vapor trails.
Factory-farmed fear candy shell, with a disgusting pig flavored center, maybe?
&quot;As an Alaskan man, I&#039;m a huge fan of the Forcible Fruit Punch flavored bean! Thanks Presnit Sarah!&quot;
Yeah well Forbes can come out here and suck our mayor&#039;s balls. You see, according to Mayor Davis, Vallejo is a <a href="http:\/\/abclocal.go.com\/kgo\/story\?section=news\/local\/north_bay&amp\;id=7139980" target="_blank"> city of God.</a>
<b>Great Thoughts of Ronald Reagan</b>
&quot;A tree&#039;s a tree. How many more do you need to look at?&quot; Ronald Reagan (Governor of California), quoted in the Sacramento Bee, opposing expansion of Redwood National Park, March 3, 1966
&quot;All the waste in a year from a nuclear power plant can be stored under a desk.&quot; Ronald Reagan (Republican candidate for president), quoted in the Burlington (Vermont) Free Press, February 15, 1980
&quot;It&#039;s silly talking about how many years we will have to spend in the jungles of Vietnam when we could pave the whole country and put parking stripes on it and still be home by Christmas.&quot; Ronald Reagan (candidate for Governor of California), interviewed in the Fresno Bee, October 10, 1965
&quot;The moral equal of our Founding Fathers.&quot; President Reagan, describing the Nicaraguan contras, March 1, 1985
&quot;Fascism was really the basis for the New Deal.&quot; Ronald Reagan, quoted in Time, May 17, 1976
&quot;A faceless mass, waiting for handouts.&quot; Ronald Reagan, 1965. (Reagan describing Medicaid recipients.)
&quot;Unemployment insurance is a pre-paid vacation for freeloaders.&quot; California Governor Ronald Reagan, in the Sacramento Bee, April 28, 1966
<i>he liked to eat candy like a Spaniard while inventing more &ldquo;trees cause pollution&rdquo; or &ldquo;welfare buys the Negro a Cadillac&rdquo; bullshit to tell people on the teevee.</i> Don&#039;t forget &quot;Ketchup is a vegetable&quot;.
I tried to schedule a colonscopy for that day but the Sunday thing was a deal-breaker.
<i>&quot;...a great item to remember Reagan by.&quot;</i>
Not just &quot;great&quot; but possibly the <i>only</i> item a huge Reagan fan* will want to remember him by. The other aspects of Reagan&#039;s life/presidency are not as gratifying. Helping out the Islamic Republic of Iran (and thus the Taliban) with weapon deals. Helping legalize abortion as governor of California. Reinforcing family values by divorcing his first wife (although that seems kinda quaint compared to the current crop of Repubicans).
Deficits. Raising taxes (yes! he raised &#039;em, the RINO) Unaware of AIDS until Rock Hudson(!) died. Movies as policy statements. Star Wars. Astrology.
OMFG! Hand me some jelly beans -- the barbiturate ones. __________________ * if you&#039;re not a huge Reagan fan, just keep eating those high fructose corn syrup jelly beans.
You can write your own review! *joy*
I had one of those buttered popcorn flavored beans once. A thousand tooth brushings will not remove the flavor.