Buenos días!
MORAL HIGH GROUND MONDAY: Found yet another Republican out there in the wild whining that the Democrats keep calling them pedophiles and pedophile protectors. Just because of how their party is full of pedophiles and the people who protect them! Totally unfair. Anyway, this time it was Sherrod Brown, and some Republican asshole whining about it, and at the Moral High Ground I figured it was a good time to remind everyone how different our definitions of “groomer” and “protecting kids” are from their definitions. Print it out and give it to anybody who is very confused! Come read that and subscribe, etc. [The Moral High Ground]
Speaking of assholes upsetly whining, my goodness, you guys, Donald Trump is so extremely stung that Barack Obama said he’s made the White House look ugly like Saddam Hussein opening a Cheesecake Factory. One of the funniest things about Trump is how desperate he is for people to believe he’s classy, when all his taste is just new money trash.
Surprise, he is also claiming the Brazil election was “rigged.” Meanwhile loser Flávio Bolsonaro has abandoned plans to call it rigged, because fuck off is why. [Barron’s / Bloomberg]
Everything in Donald Trump’s brain is a hallucination from a broken memory of a movie he saw in the 1980s, before his brain ceased functioning. Change our minds about that.
Donald Trump’s ball-licking pomeranian Todd Blanche has made up a new reason to indict James Comey, surprise. Guess they got upset when a judge ruled that it was illegal for them to fire Maurene Comey for the crime of being James Comey’s daughter. Comey’s lawyers note that the event in question “was investigated by two separate U.S. Attorneys over the past ten years. Both declined to prosecute.” Both were during the last Trump regime. But we’re sure Resting Blanche Face will get it done, you betcha. [CNBC / BBC]
Pramila Jayapal and Jamie Raskin have a plan for how to deal with Trump’s fucked up persecutions, prosecutions and targeting of political enemies in the new Congress. Just gotta make sure they win it big. [The New Republic]
Related, JFC, how desperate, how pathetic:
Uh oh, now that video Zohran Mamdani made where he spoke in the forbidden and sexual language of “Spanish” to tell immigrants their actual rights when dealing with ICE is TREASON! [JoeMyGod]
You know that one set of grandparents that gives you a trip to Europe, but the other set of grandparents gives you socks with Bible verses on them and a Dave Ramsey financial planner? Have fun at the White House Halloween celebration, fellow kids! [The Hill]
What the fuck is wrong with Matthew Yglesias?
Please give us the thought process for this earnest take. What exactly is bad for democracy about people caring about other democracies that are not their own? Nah for real, bro, tell us.
Benny Johnson is pretty tore up about Hitler’s vacay house burning down. [Media Matters]
How much of a piece of shit do you have to be for this to be what everybody from your private Catholic high school says about you?
This “Exxon” ad with Woody Harrelson is so fucking amazing, we don’t even want to tell you.
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Aw, pumping chompin' hed gif pals: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/punkin-crunchin
And here's your meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/e8d3996f-50e7-421c-a7f7-53a56578b0a8
Good ad, Woody. Uh, I mean Exxon. I feel much loved.