Former Top Goldman Sachs Lawyer Has Regrets, They Are All Jeffrey Epstein

People need better friends.

For a dead guy, Jeffrey Epstein sure does continue to do damage.

The latest self-inflicted sob story to come out of the Epstein Files is Kathryn Ruemmler, the (now former, we’ll get to that) top lawyer at Goldman Sachs. This is someone who was friendly enough with Epstein to accept his pricey gifts, offer him the occasional legal tip — one good one we guess she did not pass on is “DON’T RAPE AND SEX TRAFFIC TEENAGERS” — and call him “Uncle Jeffrey.”

Ewwwww.

Ruemmler’s out of a job now, having resigned from Goldman this week after her email exchanges with Epstein became public. But at least she’s got the Apple Watch he gifted her to remember him by.

This moment has probably been coming for awhile. Ruemmler’s relationship to Epstein came to light in 2023. But back then, the Epstein files were still under wraps and Ruemmler could, like quite a few other high-profile friends, tell The Wall Street Journal, “I regret ever knowing Jeffrey Epstein.” We bet!

But now that batches of Epstein’s emails have been released, people have learned that they were chummy enough that she was briefly a backup executor of his will, and she was one of the three phone calls he made the night he was arrested in 2019.

The emails showed them being the sort of chatty, casual, gossipy friends whose loud laughter at the next table at brunch is absolute murder on your hangover, but they are too caught up in their conversation to care when you glare at them from behind the stalk of celery jutting out of your Bloody Mary:

He asked for avocado sushi rolls to be on hand when meeting with Ms. Ruemmler, according to the documents. He visited apartments she was considering buying. In October 2014, Epstein knew her travel plans and told an assistant to look into her flight. “See if there is a first class seat,” he wrote, “if so upgrade her.”

As he liked to do with lots of people, probably more out of being a manipulative psychopath than a feeling human being with friends, Epstein threw money at Ruemmler:

The documents showed Epstein showered her with gifts including flowers, wine, an Hermès bag, $10,000 in Bergdorf Goodman gift cards, spa time, an Apple Watch and a wire payment of $53,750 to a private jet charter company in Ruemmler’s name.

As with quite a few other people, this relationship all happened well after Epstein’s arrest and brief imprisonment during the Dubya presidency. Although we suppose it would not be feasible to tell Washington lawyers to stay away from criminals. They would have to give up all their clients.

It never fails to amaze, the number of smart people who got taken in by this guy. Ruemmler was White House counsel under Barack Obama, one of the prosecutors in the Enron case who helped put away Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling. She was a partner at a prestigious law firm, and then general counsel for Goldman Sachs.

In other words, not an idiot.

Quite a few people have lost their jobs as their names have popped up in Jeffrey Epstein’s emails. A prominent lawyer at Paul Davis was told to resign. A computer science professor at Yale was removed from teaching while the school “reviews his conduct.” There are so many consequences, you’d think these guys had insufficiently mourned Charlie Kirk.

The only group so far that is escaping any accountability is every person in the Trump administration whose name also showed up in the files. And there are quite a few of them, going back to the first administration. Kevin Warsh has only barely been nominated for chairman of the Federal Reserve, and he’s already got some ‘splainin to do.

This has been your latest Epstein Files Update. Drip drip drip!

[WSJ]

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