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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Do you know about Mars, the baby pygmy hippo with attitude? He’s your hed gif critter. More info here: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/mars-resists

And today’s meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/59533067-837d-4449-9621-2ab46b513b27?utm_source=share

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eddi-SABH's avatar

Poor li'l spud got stuck there. Good thing he has friends to help him out.

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"M"'s avatar

Mars Resists!

He is stupid cute

Wonder if he's friends with Moo Deng

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Mr Mild - BlueVotingBastard💙's avatar

Grandbaby Mild survived his first half-day at daycare yesterday. We went to the pick up with the Mild Jrs. GB Mild was sleepy, but very happy to see Mom and Dad, and had lots of smiles for Grandma, aka, Mrs Mild.

He had a successful first (short) day, it looks like the Mild Jrs plan of a slow transition will be a success.

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Antifa Commander's avatar

I want a job as a baby hippo rearranger!

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Parakeetist's avatar

Mars is a handsome little man. :)

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Stanta Knows's avatar

I first saw pygmy hippos at the National Zoo in about 1978 or so. So much dawww!

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Dave's Not Here's avatar

Boop!

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Suzie Greenburg's avatar

Mars' cuteness factor has knocked me down! Cuteness overload!

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tehbaddr's avatar

Reminds me of Fiona when she was a Babby Hypotemus. She's no longer a Babby.

https://substack.com/@tehbaddr/note/c-112998484

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"M"'s avatar

FIONA

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BECKY's avatar

Fiona is a celebrity now, she has kid books about her. And she had an ice cream named after her from a local ice cream compay.

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SunMoonStars's avatar

He is so freaking cute and love his independent attitude!

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WasX's avatar

Little plump rascal, is Mars 🥰

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Shocktreatment's avatar

"...sometimes with a little push on the bottom"

I'm familiar with this experience. When it's closing time at the tavern, sometimes one 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 a little push on the bottom.

So, 𝘗𝘺𝘨𝘮𝘺 is used relatively, as mature ones are still 350 to 600 pounds, a svelte, well carried mass, but too big for the living room. Even though he's cute...

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

I imagine having a lap hippo gets a bit uncomfortable after they grow into their final weight.

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Suzie Greenburg's avatar

WE SHOULD PROBABLY CHECK

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Shocktreatment's avatar

Gonna be tough on the furniture too

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Nolan_Mark5 - 仕事の鬼's avatar

Based on his noncooperation, I'm guessing Mars thinks his handler is from Venus.

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TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

That still shot in the pool is Mars saying “This is my good side”.

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Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

I like their big back ends!

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John the Retired Mailman's avatar

...and you cannot lie!

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Linda1961 is woke and proud's avatar

I know about Mars, the babby pigmy hippo with attitude now. Even with attitude, he's a cutie!

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Resist Herr GropenFuhrer's avatar

Damn, sorry, still haven't gotten around to fixing that damn handle.

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Resist Herr GropenFuhrer's avatar

You guys are the best reporters on the entire internet, no exaggeration. You get all of the scoops. So, I have a hot tip for you: WTF was Big Balls even doing down there at 3 am? I see two scenarios, both Bad: (a) He and his date were slumming to buy drugs, in a sketchy part of a relatively unfamiliar big city, and got mugged; and/or (b) The whole thing is a setup, a Reichstag mugging if you will. It would be very interesting to find out what has happened with those two supposed teenage carjackers (how many 3am carjackings in DC are even done by people under, say, 16?) -- did they disappear, never to be seen again, with vague explanations of having been "deported", yet for all you can see, they're both U.S. citizens? Maybe all a CIA wet/dry op? We're already deep into the deep shit, why not? You can find out, I'm sure! I hope, anyway...

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Janet M Jensen's avatar

Re: Sandwich-throwing hero. Would it be too wasteful to suggest a major sandwich throwing demonstration in DC?

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kmblue187's avatar

Armed forces can refuse to obey an order from Trumpy. Is there anyone who dare?

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Cajun Kid's avatar

I slept like a rock last night. Dreamt of...I'm not sure. Must not have been a terribly good dream if I can't remember what it was. But today I eventually have to emerge from bed and do stuff I need to go visit the public housing authority to discuss the weird attempt to retroactively charge me extra rent. Unfortunately, I may have to go there in stuff that passes for...sigh...masculine clothes. They only know me by my male dead name, which is a the name on all my paperwork and documents.

Or maybe not? I don't know. The bigger thing today: despite my upcoming departure, today does Mark my third anniversary at the same job. Three years! Insane I should celebrate somehow. I was going to get a cookie at the mall, but now that I think about that, maybe it isn't sufficient.

I told my boss details about my life that perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned. Stuff about my birth that tends to shock people. Specifically, when i was born,, doctors cautioned my parents not to get too attached to me. I for multiple reasons, they did not expect me to survive. My boss was concerned that I would be okay after announcing my upcoming departure, so I mentioned my birth to show that I have always defied expectations and survived somehow.

Maybe I just need to get out of my apartment today and try to enjoy it

I feel kind of conflicted about it.

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Ward From Cali's avatar

I have a WEIRD THEORY about the high murder rate in Red States and the murdery Republican in New Mexico (who also happens to have a rap sheet as long as my arm).

Maybe it's because MAGAs are just a bunch of violent thieves and thugs? Yeah, I know, that's crazy talk.

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Khavrinen's avatar

That's Crazy Talk! ( He's my brother. )

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXQ58P4e7Cc

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"M"'s avatar

Oh - we have that for you

𝟏𝟎 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐅𝐁𝐈 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐘 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐂

https://drstaceypatton1865.substack.com/p/the-fbis-data-says-these-10-white

All White people have to do is leave Black people alone to live their lives

https://drstaceypatton1865.substack.com/p/what-are-you-working-on

But White people do not want to do that

https://drstaceypatton1865.substack.com/p/a-white-couple-in-florida-threatened

https://www.wonkette.com/p/markwayne-mullin-wins-big-pssy-scared/comment/145401955

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Mx.le Maerin's Luxury Comedy's avatar

See ya Saturday!

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Cincinnatus's avatar

"Federal prosecutors have charged Sean Charles Dunn with assaulting, resisting or impeding officers after he allegedly lobbed a sandwich at a Customs and Border Protection officer on Sunday evening in northwest Washington, D.C. “He doesn’t think it’s funny today because we charged him with a felony, assault on a police officer,” said Jeannine ["Boxwine"] Pirro, the U.S. Attorney for D.C., in a video posted to X, formerly Twitter. “And we’re going to back the police to the hilt.”"

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/subway-sandwich-officer-jeannine-pirro-trump_n_689d586de4b03640c7f17f75

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kmblue187's avatar

"Jeannine ["Boxwine"] Pirro, the U.S. Attorney for D.C....:

"Boxwine" kills me. First laugh after I got home from work.

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Cincinnatus's avatar

Wish I could take credit, but an internet meme for Pirro for a while.

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kmblue187's avatar

I know, but I still love it.

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kmblue187's avatar

I know but I still love it!

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"M"'s avatar

"assaulting, resisting OR impeding officers"

"We're not sure which one" - Boxwine

𝟏𝟎 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐅𝐁𝐈 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐘 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐂

https://drstaceypatton1865.substack.com/p/the-fbis-data-says-these-10-white

All White people have to do is leave Black people alone to live their lives

https://drstaceypatton1865.substack.com/p/what-are-you-working-on

But White people do not want to do that

https://drstaceypatton1865.substack.com/p/a-white-couple-in-florida-threatened

https://www.wonkette.com/p/markwayne-mullin-wins-big-pssy-scared/comment/145401955

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2Cats2Furious's avatar

Eating instant mashed potatoes and listening to One Direction

Fuck off. I don’t judge you for your life choices.

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"M"'s avatar

"Well I ain't worried 'bout it right nooooooooooooow"

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Babe Paley's avatar

I am HERE for you with these choices!

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2Cats2Furious's avatar

Love you, Babe! 🥰🥰

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cmd Human Scum's avatar

Headline in The Guardian today:

Melania Trump demands Hunter Biden retract comments linking her to Jeffrey Epstein

First lady threatens to sue Joe Biden’s son after he said the sex offender Jeffrey Epstein introduced her to Donald Trump

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"M"'s avatar

oh haha

Melania does not want to pick a fight with Hunter Biden

Is there a worse enemy on the planet than a handsome privileged educated man with an addiction problem?

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Babe Paley's avatar

The Washington Examiner, which is TRASH, has an article on this that shows how clearly it's TRASH. They note that Biden's interview is "rambling" and that he wore a hat with symbols from a "failed" attempt to kill Hitler. They also put right up there that the allegation isn't true. It's interesting how they frame stuff, isn't it?

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cmd Human Scum's avatar

After posting this, I saw a clip of someone asking Hunter if he intended to apologize, and he said, “Fuck no.” It did look real but who even knows these day

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2Cats2Furious's avatar

I’m loving The Guardian so hard right now. Sooooooooo much better than US corporate media.

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"M"'s avatar

I started reading them regularly and seriously when I realized they were reporting on Hillary Clinton's campaign stops covering economic opportunity and jobs when U.S.-billionaire-owned mainstream media was not

So ... almost a decade now, sigh

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2Cats2Furious's avatar

Double sigh, sister. ALL THE SIGHS.

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3FingerPete's avatar

Yeah, but Trump doesn't take a salary!

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Taking a shit on the Constitution is payment enough for him.

And the teenage girls.

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

Anyone have a hookup for cheap knee replacements? I'm looking for something low mileage, preferably only used on weekends. Based on symptoms, the current ones have had a mix of sand and glass shards stuck in them for the past two weeks now. Usually I can get them flushed out and running reasonably well, but not any more. Would even accept an entire chassis replacement, if needed.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Whatever you do, stay away from MAGA kneecaps. Those babies get a workout to be in line with Chump's ass.

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knockedoutloaded's avatar

I got mine replaced in India in 2010, so far very good!

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Sister Artemis's avatar

I hear 'Body Parts Iz Us' is having a Labor Day sale...

Seriously, this made me think about my stepdad, who is dealing with knee replacements that are about 8 years beyond their shelf life. But at 96 years of age, he's not gonna replace them, because of both his inability to deal with the procedure and after-op adjustments/therapy, and also cuz (he'd shrug his shoulders at this point) how long he'd even get use out of 'em. Frugal till the end, and he does pretty good with his walker.

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Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

BTW- I have been sending questions to the google machine asking for information.

Here's a few.

"Will Trump receive royalties when the Epstein Files are published?"

"Do the Epstein Files contain recipes for Trump Tower pierogis?"

"Can the Epstein Files whiten Trump's teeth?"

"Which Trump NFT trading cards appear in the Epstein Files?"

"Will Trump meet Putin in Alaska and discuss the Epstein Files?"

"If a mass shooting occurs, will it be because Trump is in the Epstein Files?"

"Is Trump's body mass index found in the Epstein Files?"

"Is Nintendo's new video game called 'Trump Is In The Epstein Files'?"

As Captain America so often says, I can do this all day.

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Sister Artemis's avatar

Will Trump do a dramatic reading of the Epstein Files?

Why aren't the Epstein files called the Trump Epstein files?

Will Vladimer Putin publish the Epstein files in Russia?

Does Trump eat TACO bowls in the Epstein Files?

How many different reasons does Trump have for not releasing the Epstein files?

Is Melania Trump in the Epstein Files?

Will Trump play himself in the Netflix movie about the Epstein files?

On that last one, I wasn't really expecting more than a generic listing of links, but got this:

"𝐵𝑎𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑛 𝑎𝑣𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛, 𝐷𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑑 𝑇𝑟𝑢𝑚𝑝 𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑠 ℎ𝑖𝑚𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑁𝑒𝑡𝑓𝑙𝑖𝑥 𝑑𝑜𝑐𝑢𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝐽𝑒𝑓𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑦 𝐸𝑝𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑖𝑛: 𝐹𝑖𝑙𝑡ℎ𝑦 𝑅𝑖𝑐ℎ. 𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑙𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑥 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝐸𝑝𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐺ℎ𝑖𝑠𝑙𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑀𝑎𝑥𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑙𝑢𝑑𝑒𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑢𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝐸𝑝𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑖𝑛'𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑝𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑓𝑖𝑔𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝐵𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝐶𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐷𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑑 𝑇𝑟𝑢𝑚𝑝.

"𝐼𝑡'𝑠 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝐽𝑒𝑓𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑦 𝐸𝑝𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑖𝑛: 𝐹𝑖𝑙𝑡ℎ𝑦 𝑅𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑑𝑜𝑐𝑢𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑑𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝐸𝑝𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑣𝑜𝑙𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑠𝑒. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑓 𝑇𝑟𝑢𝑚𝑝 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑐𝑢𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑖𝑛𝑣𝑜𝑙𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑣𝑎𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑤𝑠 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑢𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝐸𝑝𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑖𝑛 𝑟𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑎 𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑦𝑎𝑙 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑏𝑦 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑜𝑟."

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Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

I also wondered "Why did the Readers Digest cancel it's planned condensed version of the Trump-Epstein Files?"

the AI response: "Because Elon beat them to it."

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

They also did a Maxwell one:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt22892896/

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Sister Artemis's avatar

I may borrow a few of these.

[edit]

I typed in the NFT one, and got the first AI response (sorry, water sources):

"It's important to clarify that Trump's NFT trading cards are not directly mentioned in the existing publicly known "Epstein Files". The "Epstein Files" largely refer to documents related to the investigations and legal proceedings against Jeffrey Epstein and his associates, primarily focusing on his sex trafficking network...."

.

"Not directly mentioned..." seems oddly if vaguely specific

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Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Now we know the NFT trading cards directly finance the video software used to edit the camera footage on the Epstein prison cell door. It also explains why Eric and Junior don’t have their own NFT trading cards.

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Mx.le Maerin's Luxury Comedy's avatar

Duck Duck Go search lets you turn off AI responses. Not sure what Ecosia offers with that.

Of course, if the point is to bump the topic *on Google*, then don't mind me..

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Wokey McWokeface's avatar

The gun violence prevention task force has been reassigned to sandwich duty.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

First Jared the pedo, now assault with a deadly sandwich.

Subway's not having a good time of it.

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Antifa Commander's avatar

WHEN SANDWICHES ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE SANDWICHES!

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fair_n_hite_451's avatar

"Assault with a deadly pecorino"

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GiggleSnort's avatar

Re Chris Murphy: I am reminded that, after the Roman Republic was overthrown and they had emperors, the Senate remained as an institution: it just had fewer and fewer functions. It was there for show. See also: the Russian Duma.

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