Fox Chick Certain All The Man Prisoners Will Want Hoo-Has Now

You know that thing when a transgender person gets gender reassignment surgery, and everybody at Show And Tell is like "ooh, me too, this is the next hottest thing, gender reassignment surgery, MOOOOOOOMMMM, why does Jessa get gender reassignment surgery and I don't, I HATE YOU!" You don't? Guess you're not a Fox News idiot then, because it is a thing, and it's going to be a real problem in prison.

Backstory: The state of California has agreed to pay for the surgery (which, medical fact, is now known as "gender confirmation surgery," but you didn't know that, so we are teaching you it) for a prison inmate for the first time, citing the fact that the prisoner, who has been in the prison system since 1980, has such severe gender dysphoria that "every medical doctor and mental health clinician who has reviewed this case, including two independent mental health experts, determined that this surgery is medically necessary." Oh, so you mean they're not just handing out sex changes like candy canes? Weird.

Anyway, "Fox & Friends," you wailing cesspit of malformed semi-human gray matter, what say you about this? Steve Doocy asks, "Does a sex change constitute medical care?" He gets a good answer from attorney and guest Rebecca Rose Woodland who basically says, "Yeah, this is medical care, her doctors say she needs it, why's your weird ass bothered by it?" Unsatisfied with that answer, Doocy turns to ANOTHER guest attorney, Lisa Giovinazzo, who reportedly specializes in doing divorces, so CLEARLY she's the one we should be asking. Giovinazzo delivers the dumbshittery Doocy is craving, inside his Doocy Balls. Does gender confirmation surgery constitute medical care, Captain Divorce Lawyer Lady?

No, I don't believe it does, and I think that you have to stick on the terms of is it medically necessary? This is a person who's been incarcerated for 15 years, 20 years already, they have maintained this person, and now all of a sudden in the last several years, they've decided that this person needs to have a transgender reassignment surgery. It's ridiculous. If we allow this to happen, it's a slippery slope. It will happen in every single prison in the country and then what do we do? We create more women's prisons?

According to ALL THE DOCTORS, it is medically necessary. Now, we understand that Ms. Giovinazzo, badass esquire that she surely is, is unfortunately under the impression that this is a "some say one thing, while others say a different thing" sort of thing, but she is an obvious Dumbstupid for being under that particular impression. Again, maybe she is good at helping couples decide who gets the yacht and whether they will share joint custody of the TruckNutz. Or maybe she's a shitty lawyer too, but yr Wonkette likes to be fair above all else.

And slippery slope? If by that she means that this might hopefully set a precedent for those prisoners who actually, ACCORDING TO THE DOCTORS, need that treatment, then hoo boy, strap in for a wild ride, we guess. Of course, it's more of a slippery see-saw considering the fact that SOME trans people were born female and want to live as males, WHOA HEY THERE, are we going to have to build a million new men's prisons too, for all the trans-men who will now get to transition in prison?

Or maybe this is a tiny segment of the population and it probably won't be that big of a problem, and Giovinazzo should go back to the office and see if she can get Fitzhugh to agree to hand half his assets over to Bitsy, since Bitsy helped him build the fucking business in the first place, she didn't just "stay home with the kids," fucking Fitzhugh, you're such an asshole.

Say one more stupid before we get bored of you, Idiot Lawyer Lady:

We can challenge the doctors! ... I think the "medical necessary" term is the interpretation, right? And "medically necessary," now what are we really doing to this person? They're getting one surgery, they're getting the genitalia changed, they're not getting breast augmentation, chin implants, anything else that's not covered.

Great, she's worried they won't have the right boob jobs to go with their new nakedness areas, and that just won't look good-like. Mike Huckabee shares this worry, in a way. The other attorney, Woodland, points out one more time that the divorce attorney is not a doctor, and let's just let the doctors handle this, and we'll call you if we find out our husband is cheating, okay goodbye forever.

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[ L.A. Times / Raw Story ]