293 Comments
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Jennifer R's avatar

So the guy who publically took credit for killing bin ladin looks just like the sort of chicken shit who would take credit for someone else's work.

Slithytoves's avatar

It's that way in my office. *Shrugs*

Hairstrike Alpha's avatar

The enemy could follow the yellow streak of urine all the way to whatever group Varney is serving in....

Gayer Than Thou's avatar

But probably also autistic, because Big Pharma won't tell the truth about anti-cooties vaccine!

Gayer Than Thou's avatar

I am not jumping into any of Stuart Varney's holes.

Scooby's avatar

My pay per view idea. Varney v. Rousey

Gayer Than Thou's avatar

But really, once you've determined the places where the sun don't shine, all of those suggestions boil down to the same thing, right?

Gayer Than Thou's avatar

Wait, are you telling me cabernet isn't the more butch choice?

GrittyBossetti's avatar

That reminds me of a time I was at a punk show with a group of girls, and some meathead tried to start a physical fight with the smallest of us after talking shit for no reason about us being "little girls" who he thought didn't deserve to be in the same space he was because we were... too young? Too female? Not "tough" enough? Upon seeing the swiftness and ferocity of our reaction to him touching our friend, his buddies were like, "See ya dude!" and ran away. And he did the same as soon as he could.Reeeeaaal tough, there, buddy! Starting a fight with a 5-foot-nothing girl and then running away!

Gayer Than Thou's avatar

Snuff films are illegal.

Shibusa's avatar

I'll take 'Guests who will not be returning to Stuart Varney's show for $800', Alex.

BadKitty904's avatar

I dunno. An imagination, a basic knowledge of human anatomy, and votes (o' course) can work wonders...

Mehmeisterjr's avatar

Other things I'd rather have in combat than Stuart Varney include:

A trained ferret

An untrained fruit bat

The Complete Works of James Whitcomb Riley

A Ronco Pocket Fisherman

TrumpLovedEpstein's avatar

please let your mommy into the basement long enough to change your diapers!

TrumpLovedEpstein's avatar

you engaged me in an insulting manner and now you object when answered? how special of you! such a snowflake of importance! try some buttpaste for your butthurt https://uploads.disquscdn.c...

Mehmeisterjr's avatar

As far as I can tell, the only thing that Stuart Varney ever hunted was a piece of ass on the side and the only thing he ever gathered was a divorce petition:

http://pagesix.com/2014/10/...